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I need relationship advice plz help

Posted by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:46 PM
  • 13 Replies
So before I start I just had a daughter on oct and the father and I been having a little bit of problems weve been togetger for 2 and 1/2 yrs and he broke up with me because hes not happy anymore he said he's feelings towards me are not the same since last week I asked why all of a sudden how can someone lose feelings for another person when theyve been though a lot. he said we don't talk like before or at all, our relationship isint like it was before I got pregnant. The thing is that he still wants me and the baby to live with him because he wants to take care of us and still wants to be friends what Do I do i want to be a family again do you think it's possible to make things work again and how?

Also i kept asking questions and got upset and said why do you need closure for everything and i said i do to move on and be happy and hes like ok but when i started to ask again he got upset and he said i cant force someones feelings and i know that and that wasn't my intention and said all i was doing that day was just pushing him away even more because he felt attacked i was just in so much pain i couldnt understand why he was doing this now after so long and now that we have a daughter? He said he just wants to be alone like with nobody and I asked so that's it for us and he said no I didn't say that and then I asked well should I try an move on then and he said no and just rubbed my head and went to work and gave me a hug what should I do I want him back in my life and to be happy again but it looks like we're gonna have to start from beginning which means just being friends and showing him how much fun we had and that we still love each other well at least I feel that way

Well how long should I give him space first before we become friends again remember we live together and he wants me to stay because he still wants to take care of us and wants to friends he wants to workout together and play video games and still go to the movies i find this whole situation so confusing do you think it's possible for us to get back together?
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by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:50 PM

they way I see it is he wants to go out screw around and you'll be home for when he isn't out. That wouldn't work for me. I could not live with a man I wanted that didn't want me. you need to decide if you can see him all the time and be ok with him coming and going and not having to explain his actions or where abouts.

tihone77
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you need to move on as if he is only going to be your daughters father and nothing else.  If he knows that you're just trying to prove to him how good your are as a couple, he's likely to just keep stringing you along. Generally speaking it's not healthy (for you) to live with someone after they have moved on.  And that's what he has done, moved on.  Get your life together, make sure you can provide for your dd and let him be.  If you two are meant to be then you'll find your way back to each other, but don't live in the pain of what if's.

amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:32 PM

Hi!  I just answered your post in another group.  (((hug)))

Quoting Analizettesalas:

So before I start I just had a daughter on oct and the father and I been having a little bit of problems weve been togetger for 2 and 1/2 yrs and he broke up with me because hes not happy anymore he said he's feelings towards me are not the same since last week I asked why all of a sudden how can someone lose feelings for another person when theyve been though a lot. he said we don't talk like before or at all, our relationship isint like it was before I got pregnant. The thing is that he still wants me and the baby to live with him because he wants to take care of us and still wants to be friends what Do I do i want to be a family again do you think it's possible to make things work again and how?

Also i kept asking questions and got upset and said why do you need closure for everything and i said i do to move on and be happy and hes like ok but when i started to ask again he got upset and he said i cant force someones feelings and i know that and that wasn't my intention and said all i was doing that day was just pushing him away even more because he felt attacked i was just in so much pain i couldnt understand why he was doing this now after so long and now that we have a daughter? He said he just wants to be alone like with nobody and I asked so that's it for us and he said no I didn't say that and then I asked well should I try an move on then and he said no and just rubbed my head and went to work and gave me a hug what should I do I want him back in my life and to be happy again but it looks like we're gonna have to start from beginning which means just being friends and showing him how much fun we had and that we still love each other well at least I feel that way

Well how long should I give him space first before we become friends again remember we live together and he wants me to stay because he still wants to take care of us and wants to friends he wants to workout together and play video games and still go to the movies i find this whole situation so confusing do you think it's possible for us to get back together?


LuLuRex
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:23 PM

I agree with this. ((hugs))

Quoting tihone77:

I think you need to move on as if he is only going to be your daughters father and nothing else.  If he knows that you're just trying to prove to him how good your are as a couple, he's likely to just keep stringing you along. Generally speaking it's not healthy (for you) to live with someone after they have moved on.  And that's what he has done, moved on.  Get your life together, make sure you can provide for your dd and let him be.  If you two are meant to be then you'll find your way back to each other, but don't live in the pain of what if's.


Reina13
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:58 AM

I think you need to move on. If you can remain friendly for the sake of your child, that is a plus. But I think it will be damaging to you, your child and a potential amicable co-parenting situation, if you live there now.

Good luck.



**Chat with us ANONYMOUSLY!**

Quoting tihone77:

I think you need to move on as if he is only going to be your daughters father and nothing else.  If he knows that you're just trying to prove to him how good your are as a couple, he's likely to just keep stringing you along. Generally speaking it's not healthy (for you) to live with someone after they have moved on.  And that's what he has done, moved on.  Get your life together, make sure you can provide for your dd and let him be.  If you two are meant to be then you'll find your way back to each other, but don't live in the pain of what if's.


CoeyG
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 2:26 PM

He wants you home taking care of things while he goes out and fucks around and you're willing to do so.   I guess when I go look up the world gullible in the dictionary I'll find your picture next to it huh? 

Lunarprancer
by Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 2:28 PM

This exactly.

Quoting Reina13:

I think you need to move on. If you can remain friendly for the sake of your child, that is a plus. But I think it will be damaging to you, your child and a potential amicable co-parenting situation, if you live there now.

Good luck.



**Chat with us ANONYMOUSLY!**

Quoting tihone77:

I think you need to move on as if he is only going to be your daughters father and nothing else.  If he knows that you're just trying to prove to him how good your are as a couple, he's likely to just keep stringing you along. Generally speaking it's not healthy (for you) to live with someone after they have moved on.  And that's what he has done, moved on.  Get your life together, make sure you can provide for your dd and let him be.  If you two are meant to be then you'll find your way back to each other, but don't live in the pain of what if's.



With light and love

robyann
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:11 PM

 Sounds like he just wants to see what else is out there, what other options he may have. He wants you to stay there and go on like it's always been, so you'll be there just like he left you, if "what's out there", isn't what he wants. I don't think you should give him that option. He's either committed to you or he's not. No in between.

Where are your parents or siblings? Can you stay with them for awhile. You need to make him see that you are not gonna play his games. You are an adult and you deserve respect. You deserve even more of his respect because you are the mother of his dd. Don't just stay there and let him run all over you emotionally.

Analizettesalas
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:14 AM
I can't move in with my fam because my dad well it's a long story but I'm not welcomed there or atleast I wouldn't like to live there i would like to work and move out on my own but my baby is to small


Quoting robyann:

 Sounds like he just wants to see what else is out there, what other options he may have. He wants you to stay there and go on like it's always been, so you'll be there just like he left you, if "what's out there", isn't what he wants. I don't think you should give him that option. He's either committed to you or he's not. No in between.


Where are your parents or siblings? Can you stay with them for awhile. You need to make him see that you are not gonna play his games. You are an adult and you deserve respect. You deserve even more of his respect because you are the mother of his dd. Don't just stay there and let him run all over you emotionally.


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robyann
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:51 AM

 I understand there are issues with your father, but if you can't stay with someone for a little while, you'll have to stay where you are. At least until you can get a job and save up some money. It's hard to save money secretly though. Do some brain storming and see if you can come up with someone you can stay with just for a few months.

Quoting Analizettesalas:

I can't move in with my fam because my dad well it's a long story but I'm not welcomed there or atleast I wouldn't like to live there i would like to work and move out on my own but my baby is to small


Quoting robyann:

 Sounds like he just wants to see what else is out there, what other options he may have. He wants you to stay there and go on like it's always been, so you'll be there just like he left you, if "what's out there", isn't what he wants. I don't think you should give him that option. He's either committed to you or he's not. No in between.


Where are your parents or siblings? Can you stay with them for awhile. You need to make him see that you are not gonna play his games. You are an adult and you deserve respect. You deserve even more of his respect because you are the mother of his dd. Don't just stay there and let him run all over you emotionally.


 

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