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Is this Normal? --Young love

Posted by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM
  • 16 Replies

Hi Ladies!

I have two children 1 son( Gabe)  who is 21 a daughter (Amber)  who is 20 years old. Needless to say, they are very close.  

Anyway, I was hoping you guys could give me some advice.  Amber has had one boyfriend for her life  who never treated her how she should be treated and he has consistantly left her heartbroken, dissapointment after dissapointment.  Their 4 year "relationship" ended about about a year and half ago and since then, Amber has been on dates with other guys and but refuses to commit to any of them.  She is consistantly clamining "shes too independent for a boy" 

I guess this just baffles me because all of her friends are in serious relationships.. wouldn't she want to be in one so they can do things together? It breaks my heart to see her unhappy and I know she is when she doesn't have plans on friday night because its "date night" for all her coupley friends.  Is this normal? I was always in a relationship when I was her age and loved being loved.  I'm afraid she is going to lose all these great guys chasing after her because she's too stubborn to let any of them in.  

What should I do??

Thanks for listening,

Mary

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:04 PM

Why do you want your 20 yo to be in a serious relationship?  She is young. 

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:46 PM

That is very normal especially after the abuse she may have suffered at the hands of one male.  Let her heal and enjoy her independence of singlehood.

Carmel63
by New Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:51 PM

I think your daughter is perfectly normal.  Most 20 year olds I know are not in a serious relationship.  The right guy is so much better than any guy.

Hockeymama23
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:52 PM

I just feel like she is getting to that stage, my son is looking at getting engaged in a couple years and Amber has only had one boyfriend. She only has a year and a half left of college, I'm just scared she will never try anything 


amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:52 PM

Welcome!

Well... maybe she is just not ready to get back into a relationship.  There's nothing wrong with that, and she's still young.  Try to not worry mama.

Quoting Hockeymama23:

Hi Ladies!

I have two children 1 son( Gabe)  who is 21 a daughter (Amber)  who is 20 years old. Needless to say, they are very close.  

Anyway, I was hoping you guys could give me some advice.  Amber has had one boyfriend for her life  who never treated her how she should be treated and he has consistantly left her heartbroken, dissapointment after dissapointment.  Their 4 year "relationship" ended about about a year and half ago and since then, Amber has been on dates with other guys and but refuses to commit to any of them.  She is consistantly clamining "shes too independent for a boy" 

I guess this just baffles me because all of her friends are in serious relationships.. wouldn't she want to be in one so they can do things together? It breaks my heart to see her unhappy and I know she is when she doesn't have plans on friday night because its "date night" for all her coupley friends.  Is this normal? I was always in a relationship when I was her age and loved being loved.  I'm afraid she is going to lose all these great guys chasing after her because she's too stubborn to let any of them in.  

What should I do??

Thanks for listening,

Mary



elzmnsf
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:55 PM
I think she sounds very healthy. I was married and had a kid by 22 and am happy with and in my marriage , but I hope my dd's enjoy their freedom and have adventures in their 20's before settling down.
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elzmnsf
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:01 PM
Also, about half the girls I grew up with got married and started their families in their early 20's like me, but when we hit 30 their was a ton of weddings again and the other half tied the knot at that time. In the past two or three years 15 of my friends got married, an we are 32 now.
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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:02 PM

I hope mine are not engaged or serious till mid 20''s.  They have their whole lives to settle down and be married.  Have some fun first. 

Megan11587
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:03 PM
The best thing I ever did for myself was to stay single and live alone for a few years after college. I really got to know and appreciate myself
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christineT79
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:17 PM

Give her some time. She is totally normal. I didnt settle down & get married until 2 yrs ago & I'm 33 yrs old. I also just had my first baby. I spent my 20's having the time of my life. Dating, being single, traveling, going to college etc. I love that I didnt settle down early in life & have kids early. I honestly miss my 20's. I had a blast. Not everyone does things in the same order as everyone else. Just don't worry, she will find her way. She would have a new boyfriend & be in a relationship if she wanted to.

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