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What should I do?

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:33 AM
  • 9 Replies

For the past week I have been stressing over whether to send my in-laws something for Christmas (they live in another state). DH says I shouldn't be worrying about it but I still do. I'm finding it difficult for several reasons, 1. because anytime we send something it never gets used- so I don't even know what to send!, 2. because rarely do we even get calls from them, 3. they never call on holidays or send the kids even a birthday card on their birthdays, 4. chances are likely that if we don't call them on christmas, we won't hear from them. It's just odd to me. When we confront them on it- they say "oh we don't want to call and bother you, we know you're busy" - so? at least we know you care. Then, when we do go to visit, they act completely different and even have told us on numerous occasions how much they want us to move there (that's a whole other story).  So I'm struggling. Do I send something or not? I guess the only reason is because I was told they are sending something for the kids. I hate having to stress over something so ridiculous. Any advice?

by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:33 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Angel_Red7
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:35 AM
I'd just send a card. But that's just my opinion.
Angel_Red7
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:38 AM

Or maybe a gift card for them to choose. I live near my in laws and we only spent around 30 dollars all together (a personalized mug, a DVD, a shirt, and a personalized ornament). We focus more on the kids. But if I was in your shoes, I'd send a card. Sorry if I sound cruel. But I wouldn't stress. Maybe have the kids make something and send it? 

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Have the kids make a card
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Jessy76
by Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:46 AM

I like this idea or send some flowers or one of those edible arrangment baskets.

Quoting erinsmom1964:

Have the kids make a card


ferne3
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:56 AM

You could be talking about my in-laws!  However, instead of us moving there, they were hurt and confused why we moved away from them closer to my family (for one - LOVE our new home, and two - read on.)  It was funny when I met them for the first time, my husband was excited because he thought how warm and inclusive they were - fast forward years later and he realizes - not so much, expecially compared to mine.  His Mom 'forgets' to call on his birthday - let alone mine or our DD.  His Dad came to vist (when we were only a couple hours away) and cut it short every time.  It is still hard sometimes, but I stopped letting it bother me.  They don't mean to be, when we make the trip to see them, they say how much they miss us and our DD but I have just realized they are self-centered people who only think about what is right in front of them and I am wasting my life and energy worrying about what they do or think.  It is hard to explain to kids, but I am going with -they are really busy.  His whole family - and it is big.  They are so busy focusing on their own lives, they have little time to think about anyone elses.  Now - to your question.  In years past, I would make generic 'family baskets' for each of the in-law's families.  Pasta dinner or movies (netflix gift certificates) and hot cocoa, one time I made a Christmas morning breakfast with scone ingrediants in a mason jar, some jams and coffee.  Yeah, it takes some time, but when making several you get an assembly line going and you can make quite a few.  Even with shipping, I used the prepaid mail box, it was still cheaper than individual gifts at $25-30 per family.  This year, I am sending homemade handprint ornaments from our DD and some picture necklaces of our DD I made.  Small, but personal.  Have your kids make something for them, salt dough or other ornaments are usually good, and I would leave it at that.   Shows you were thinking of them, and your kids were too and you won't be so hurt if they don't send anything to you.  Sorry for the long post - good luck!

stepconfused182
by Kelley on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:58 AM

 Great idea! Stick a gift card in there with it. That's all I'd do.

Quoting erinsmom1964:

Have the kids make a card

 

BaBa1123
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:16 PM

With all that you posted the only think I would do is have the kids make a card and leave it at that.  Sorry about your in-laws.   Good luck.

OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:18 PM

 Why not send them something like a nice framed family picture. 

meliscool72
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:33 PM

send a card and maybe $20 in it or send them a visa gift card or something, that will surely get used lol

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