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am I wrong? seriously

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:09 PM
  • 32 Replies

Okay so I have a baby who is 3 months old on the 29th. The father and i are not together and he is overseas yet to meet his son. Here is my question.... he didnt send anything for Christmas, not even a card. I understand he doesnt want to be friends but what about the baby? I get that he is only 3 months old but come on, not even a teddy bear? Its his first christmas and he may not remember it but I still think the father should have made more effort. It irks me bc I make all the efforts to keep him in touch with his son even though he has no desire to be my friend. I am getting so fed up with feeling the way I do. AM I WRONG to feel this way? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Please help!!

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
livelaughlov26
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:10 PM
No he is wrong not you.
Mommy2justone
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:10 PM
2 moms liked this
Maybe he doesn't feel bonded yet because he hasn't met him?
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:11 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldnt push the relationship since he is overseas and hasnt bonded to the child.  Buy or make a teddy bear yourself to commemorate the first christmas with your son.

victoriaherring
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't blame you for being upset. If I were you I'd stop trying. He knows how to contact you. When your son is older he will form his own opinion of his dad based on his actions, hopefully dad steps up before its too late.
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SRUsarahSC
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:14 PM

I would be pissed, and if he is actually serious about having a relationship with his child, he's going to need to learn to interact with you.  That's more worrisome than the lack of gifts--after all, Christmas isn't here it, it might still be coming (or they could have lost it...when my brother was overseas, my mom sent three boxes...one arrivefd before Christmas, one arrived 2 weeks later, one wound up back at my parents house 4 months later....guess which one had the cookies in it )

Dr.Suess
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:22 PM

Thank you ladies, I really appreciate you reading and responding. I am so upset right now and I dont know if its hormones or what. When the baby was first born he was nice to me and we were comunnicating for the first time and skyping. Now he has met this girl over the internet and now he doesnt want to be friends, and he doesnt 'have time' to skype with his son anymore. I grew up without my dad simply bc he didnt care. He may not know the difference now but its hard when youre older.

CoeyG
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:37 PM

No you are not wrong, but neither is the father.  He has the right to not want to acknowlledge the child.  Just because a man impregnates a woman doesn't mean is is fatherly material.  It only means he had enough sperm to fertalize an ovum she obviously was able to supply to help create and the body parts to sustain a full term pregnancy.  The fact that you chose to give birth and be a mother doesn't mean he chose to be a father. 

Dr.Suess
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:51 PM

I understand where you are coming from.  He has said he wants to be there for the boy. His mother and sister and I have all become friends and I try to be friends with him too. I understand he doesnt have to, nor does he HAVE to be there for his son. He has made that choice but hasnt seem to follow through too much. Although he does send some moeny to help out. I gotta give him that but thats all.

marinewife55
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:55 PM
1 mom liked this
My dds father and I were together/married all that (still waiting on finalization) and my dd is about to have her third Christmas and no presents or time spent for any Christmas or birthday so I kno how it feels...but don't let it faze u or reflect ur frustration on ur baby cuz kids can feel mommy's emotions...just give ur son lots of love and a great Christmas
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JeremysMom
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:05 PM

Are you sure he didn't send something and it either didn't arrive yet or got lost in the mail?

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