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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

troubled 14 year old daughter-> Really need advise****

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so..where to begin.  I have been a single mom for all of her life and I have done the best that I can do doing it alone.  My daughter has always been defiant and very bull headed but when she turned 13 shit hit the fan.  she is rude, disrespectful, argumentative, violent.. I had the cops at my house a year ago because she was hitting me and then again this year I had to call crisis intervention and had two counselors at my house the same day because I discovered she was cutting.  The cutting she claims is because she has been bullied at school, which I thought I had dealt with but the school was not helpful so she is not home schooled...this isn't working either, now she isn't doing her online school work and is failing most of her classes...I found an article on ODD (oppositional deficiency disorder)  it fit her to a "T"...  Im at a loss for what to do for her...Im scared for her...I looked into boarding schools for her but those are way beyond what I can afford.  Oh and by the way, I did have her to a counselor but she wont go back and I cant drag a 14 year old to an appointment.  I just need advise or at least someone who has gone through this or similar situations...what did you do?  How do you help a teenager who wont help themselves?  

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 4:13 PM
Replies (21-22):
Shygirl951
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 7:54 PM
I cant give you advice from a parental pov since I'm a new mother myself, but I can give you a personal pov. I am only 19 myself and had similiar issues in high school besides the fact that I was good at hiding my pain. No counselors or therapists worked for me. And the threat of sending me away made me act out more and turn to other outlets for my pain. You have to find away to get through to her and get her to open up. My mom took me to a beautiful spa hotel for a week and bonded with me, then we had mother daughter time with the promise that anything discussed in those times were off limits, it gave me a chance to express myself a little more. That exact strategy might not work for you, but you know your daughter she needs to feel comfortable and at ease in order to open up a little bit. Just please be careful with the threats and sending away stuff it just makes things worse in almost every situation.
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karies2kids
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:57 AM

Thank you.  I appreciate you sharing with me your story , I've honestly been looking for someone, anyone to just understand, not necessarily give advice just understand and you sound like you do because you have been where she is.  I don't know what to do but I think going away with her for a weekend my be a start.


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