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good mother thrown in trash

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teenager turned 18 nightmare.  where do I fit in now?

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:11 PM
Replies (21-30):
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:10 AM

I am sooo with you on your thoughts.  I was so shocked to shown differentlly.  What is the world coming to?

by Ruby Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:40 AM

Tabernac, what the hell i?? Am I getting this right ?? If their 18 and in school, but acting a fool, they are still your responsibility. Come 18 in school or not, they need to be held responsible for their own actions, in less they are mentally disabled. It is one thing paying for their education after 18, completly different when expected to pay "child support" when they are suposed to be considerd an adult legally by law, once they reach the age of 18.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:25 AM

Actually you would not be held responsible.  I moved out 2 days before I turned 18 (due to family issues).  Any trouble I would have caused would have been my fault and I would have been tried as an adult.  You are in no way responsible after she turns 18.  I am 21 now and I have my daughter who is 6 months now.  I know that it's hard to just kick your daughter out but she needs to take responsiblity for what she is doing.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:33 AM

I live in MN

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:05 AM

I wish she could talk to you.  Her thinking is so mixed up and she get's so angry and lashes out so aggressively at the smallest thing, like if I didn't buy her the razor she asked for.  I know that there were outside influences that lead to her acting out.  Yes, and I am making excuses for her, I love her so much but she acts like I am such a horrible person.  I have a lot of people reminding me I am a good parent but she has so convinced herself otherwise.  I also think that she was encouraged by other people who's intentions were not so honorable.  she is convinced that I asked for everything I got and was actively involved in "hurting me" by taking away the child support and signing permission to the person she was living with to make decisions about her schooling instead of me.  She told me that I just wanted her to return home so that I could get her child support, which could not be further from the truth. For her to even suggest this was so hurtful! Child support had never been an issue before but the person who encouraged her to leave home and move in with her wanted to add to her income. That women is the one who was interested in getting the child support  my daughter is home now and on the outside she seems less hateful.  I hope, like you suggest, we will resolve this but I know she continues to think she didn't do anything wrong.  Maybe you are right and this is just something we have to go through and learn from as she becomes independant .  This one is so much harder than the rest of my children because she questions my being a good mother and I always taken such pride in being a good mother.  Thank you for your advice.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:21 AM

If I am resposible for her actions but can't control them anymore what do I do?  Kicking her out was a bad chioce on my part and fighting with her over her behavior is bad for the rest of the family.  I hate to think that I have no say and she will live with her own choices because I feel that how she behaves now is in part my fault because I should have raised her to be able to make better choices when she was younger.  I know you all think so too,  and were too kind to say so.  Thank you for not saying it.  I am paying the price now, but I want to find a fix and move on if I can.  Counselling is in the near future, I hope.

by Amber on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:23 AM

Quoting hippiechik3:

Find something that makes you happy an go for it. A mother, good or bad, is always needed.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 6:06 PM

You must have been out of school when you turned 18.  My daughter is graduating late and I am still responsible for her until she graduates or drops out.  she moved back in and I have to figure out reasonable expectations that we can both live with.  Thank you for your impute.   

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:36 PM

If you are talking about me then no.  I was graduated the may after I turned 18.

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:20 PM


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