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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Advice needed.

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 8:11 PM
  • 20 Replies
Hello moms, I'm in need of advice, I'm 34 weeks along and I find myself preparing for a divorce. My husband has not helped purchase or put anything together for our unborn son. He has however purchased a bottle. Is this jitters or something deeper? Myself I see it as something deeper because I've never seen a parent act this way before a child comes especially when the couple was ttc. Any suggestions?
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 8:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
-PB
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 9:26 PM

 Did you ask him why?  Have you been purchasing items?  Is this his first child?  He may not know what to get.  Is he opposed to you buying things?

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 9:27 PM
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Do you mean a bottle of alcohol? How long have you been married? How long trying to conceive? Some people are superstitious about buying anything until the baby is born. If you are thinking divorce there must be some major problems. Also mama, remember that you are extra hormonal and emotional when you are pregnant, so don't do anything hasty.

JB1213
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:32 PM
To PB, thanks for responding. Yes his first he says he can't afford it however it is in his budget. I see him buy expensive military boots monthly or pay his Xbox live account. I've had a lot given to me from friends. The rest I've purchased in resale stores from my saving I had.
JB1213
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:36 PM
We have been married two years, it was a baby bottle. He isn't superstitious I've tried explaining to him if he thinks he can't afford bottles or diapers now, it will be more expensive especially after he comes. Then there will be formula and etc. Ironically I got pregnant the same month I decided divorce was the best option. By the time I started using bc again I was already pregnant.
stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 12:14 AM

is there something else going on besides him not buying stuff for the baby? I mean yes you need to get stuff for the baby, but it seems like there must be something bigger if you actually want a divorce...maybe a budget and such should have been figured before trying to have a baby.

JB1213
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:12 AM
I did come up with a budget. However he decided to get a new truck, jack it up and so forth. I have no access to his bank or do I even know who he banks with anymore. This information has since been changed. To let you ladies know again this was planned for over a year.
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:25 AM
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Oh he is in for a rude awakening when he sees the cost of child support when baby is born then.  Depending on the state it could run as much as 600 a month or more per child.  First thing to go for us would have been the xbox member ship so that dd had what she needed.   I breastfed so didnt have to worry too much about bottles and formula.  Diapers were close to 100 dollars per month at first.

elzmnsf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:12 AM
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Not to mention as active duty military and you all being married, that bah will be yours. If you seperate and report it to his command they will take your money out of each of his checks and send it to you even without a court order, flat out. He is being stupid as hell!


Quoting frndlyfn:

Oh he is in for a rude awakening when he sees the cost of child support when baby is born then.  Depending on the state it could run as much as 600 a month or more per child.  First thing to go for us would have been the xbox member ship so that dd had what she needed.   I breastfed so didnt have to worry too much about bottles and formula.  Diapers were close to 100 dollars per month at first.


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-PB
by Gold Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:40 AM

 Ah ha.  You married a man-child.  Yeah, I'd probably be going to marriage counseling.  Tell him if he doesn't start making financially sound decisions for his family (baby stuff and marriage counseling) on his own you'll go through the court system and have it ordered via divorce and child support.  Do you have any family that can help you for a while?  As far as getting things for the baby right now, since he is refusing to help try freecycle.org.  People post adds for tons of kids clothes, toys, pack n' plays, etc all the time there and it all free.  Here the link...

http://www.freecycle.org/

Quoting JB1213:

To PB, thanks for responding. Yes his first he says he can't afford it however it is in his budget. I see him buy expensive military boots monthly or pay his Xbox live account. I've had a lot given to me from friends. The rest I've purchased in resale stores from my saving I had.

 

JB1213
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:47 AM
Thanks ladies we did go to couples counseling as well as individual for himself until he quit. On the bah part I wasn't planning on using any or living off his money once we separated. I know he plans to use the bah to make a higher truck payment to get it paid off faster.
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