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Need Advice please about my 20 month old Son... ( potty training and behavoir related.) (Maybe Kind of long. Sorry)

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:18 PM
  • 5 Replies

 My son is 20 months old, will be 21 months this month. I love him with all my heart but there are certain things that I am just at Witt's end about at this point. one of those things is his behavior. I have tried raising him right and try to teach him to mind me and behave right but for the past few days he refuses to listen to me and can not be Satisved matter what I do for him or with him... I do not know what else to do... I feel like I'm being a bad mother cuz he won't listen to me... What can I do to make him listen to me and behave? Could this be terrible twos starting early? dh keeps saying that it is but idk for sure... (dh acts like he knows so much about raising kids but idk why.)

my second question is about potty training. what are the sings that a child is ready for potty training? I am not sure that ds is showing any interest in it at all but dh keeps pushing the issue... I do now know what to do about this matter. I just need advice and tips on potty training this our first child and I am the main parent in ds's life atm and idk really where to start with potty training or what age is to early to start either... any advice would greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance ladies for the help...

Oh and yes, If I left anything out or if anyone has any question feel free to ask. Thank you ladies...

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:18 PM
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by Platinum Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:39 PM
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Most will start at age 2 (24 months) for potty training. Huggies i think has a good tip thing for potty training.  It sounds like terrible twos so now it is especially important to establish a discipline routine tht is consistent so his very young mind recognizes a pattern.  Toddlers will push boundaries to see where mommy will let them get away with things.

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:57 PM

It definately sounds like the terrible two' daughter just hit hers (a few months late) and she drives me insane some days. 

I can't help with the potty training...she is my first child and our potty training was going well for a while and now she refuses to even sit on the I'm not the best for advice on that.

by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 5:32 AM
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You and your husband decide what the rules are, then be very consistant with time outs, don't let your son be the boss, he will thrive knowing what the limits are and that you are in charge. When he does something good praise him!

by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:04 AM

He's not listening because he is too busy testing your need to be constistent with discipline at this age, because he needs you for guidance on how to act and behave.  He is not going to remember from day to day everything, so you have to repeat, repeat, and repeat some more...He WILL model the behavior he sees you and his father doing, so keep that in mind too...if you or dh throw things when upset, your ds will too.  If you swear when upset, ds will too...And about potty training....if he is dry after nap, start putting him on the potty...or have daddy take him in the bathroom with him from now on, and have HIM show the boy how to use his penis to pee in the potty, cuz YOu don't have one to show him....he may be a  little too young for potty training yet, but it's never too early to let him sit on it, and get used to it. 

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:27 AM
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I'd say your son is hitting the terrible twos.  All of my children started at about 20-22 months and it gets worse before it gets better, LOL!  Stay consistent, find a time-out spot and use it.  I always told my kids "There's a time out spot everywhere we go!" which was a reminder that no matter where we were I could and would put them in time out.

The age old question about potty training.....

Boys generally potty train later than girls. 

Both my boys potty trained at around age 3.  My earliest potty trainer was my oldest DD and she potty trained at 28 months. 

Signs of being ready include asking to have his diaper changed or pulling at his diaper to show he's uncomfortable with it being wet/dirty; hiding behind furniture or in his room when he is pooping in his diaper; interest in the toilet and what you are doing when you are in the bathroom; staying dry for longer and longer periods of time; an ability to tell you that he needs to use the bathroom.

If you try to potty train too early you will likely end up with a resistant child and possibly some behavioral issues related to potty training. 

I always waited for my child to let ME know that he/she was ready.  I never arbitrarily decided that my child was ready based on an age/date.  As a result, all of my children potty trained within a week or so.  I read horror stories on CM about kids taking months, over a year sometimes and I'm shocked.  Potty training is not stressful and is really quite easy if you wait for your child to be ready.

One thing you can do is buy a potty chair and set it in your bathroom.  No pressure, just leave the chair out so your son can explore it, sit on it while fully dressed, drag it into the living room and watch t.v. on it, whatever.  Next, find a kids book or two or three about potty training.  Simple picture books about using the potty.  Leave those out for your son to look at, read them to him when he is interested.  There are even little potty training videos that are for kids.  Let him watch one of those.  All of this is simpy aimed at getting your child to start thinking about the potty.

Never punish the child about issues related to potty training.  Kids will have accidents. It's how you handle them that sets the tone.  I always said things like "Uh oh, you had an accident. Let's get dry pants on and try again."  I used an immediate reward when the child pottied such as a tupperware container with m&m's. I'd put that little container on the counter and as soon as the child pee'd he got one candy, poop got two candies.

Last....don't expect nightime dryness for awhile after the child is day trained.  Some kids get it right off the bat but most don't.  My latest night time trained was DS19 and he was close to (or maybe slightly over) age 5.  One child was immediately night dry as soon as she potty trained.  There is no real rhyme or reason, it just has to do with central nervous system maturity. 

OK, off my soap box, LOL.  Good luck and don't hurry the potty training!

**Just call me Stuart**

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