Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

For those that are married. Question about length and description... Poll

Posted by   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Marriage status vs relationship status, what do you say?

Options:

How many years we've been married

How many years altogether

Something else, like there was a separation there


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 157

View Results

Okay. DH and I have been together 7 years.

We've been married for 5.

When you talk about how long you've been with your partner to someone else, how do you say it? For us would you say "married 5 years" add the fact that it's been 7? Just say "married 7?"

The fact that we have a 6yo factors into this as I saw someone recently I hadn't seen in many years. They knew both DH and I separately then.

I said we had been married 5 years- then later wondered if I should have just said 7, so my kid didn't look like someone elses lol. Make sense? 

What do you say? 

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 5:24 PM
Replies (61-70):
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jan. 3, 2013 at 3:02 AM
Idk? Because I'm proud of us and they still suck lol? Because I feel like it? Just because?

I jist asked a random question and a poll. Makin convo, not that serious chick.

Yes we're civil with those people, they didn't wrong us - they're just the wrong crowd. We all used to be friends at one time or another.


Quoting nuts4scouts:

So, when someone you have not seen in over 7 years, and do not want to associate with now,  asks - "Oh, you and Ty", why do you feel it is necessary to go into detail at all?

Why not just say - "Yep, me and Ty", and leave it at that?


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jan. 3, 2013 at 3:09 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm not worried. Just curious what others do.

And I know if a person I hadn't seen in years said they'd been with their spouse less time than their oldest child it would make me curious but not enough to ask kwim?

So I like to be thorough. :)


Quoting Sun_Shine_990:

I always together 4 yrs this yr, married 2...



But most people know that you date a person before you marry them, well most of the time anyway...



Good luck. I wouldn't worry what everyone thinks though. But to each their own...

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:55 AM

They don't know if the child was adopted, or is a friend or relative's child that was taken in.  Not sure why I brought this up, reallly.

Quoting AM-BRAT:

I'm not worried. Just curious what others do.

And I know if a person I hadn't seen in years said they'd been with their spouse less time than their oldest child it would make me curious but not enough to ask kwim?

So I like to be thorough. :)


Quoting Sun_Shine_990:

I always together 4 yrs this yr, married 2...



But most people know that you date a person before you marry them, well most of the time anyway...



Good luck. I wouldn't worry what everyone thinks though. But to each their own...


Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:59 AM

It seems to me when we meet people we haven't seen for a while, they often volunteer how long they've been together and how long married.  I really haven't paid attention but will now that you've raised the question. LOL!

mcovey
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:26 AM
1 mom liked this

 we have been married for 27 years this coming January 17th --my hubby always says that it don;t seem that long , I always say (sometimes ) but always  think it depends on what is going that day . If it is a good and has been for some time yes it don;t seem like that long , but as everyone has their good and bad days .

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:42 AM
Idk. It's just such a crowd where people have many different kids with many different people and I'm proud we're an intact family.

I want it to be ovbious that we made it this far, when it comes to those random old friends at least.

No reason more than it makes me feel good. And proud.


Quoting Bmat:

They don't know if the child was adopted, or is a friend or relative's child that was taken in.  Not sure why I brought this up, reallly.

Quoting AM-BRAT:

I'm not worried. Just curious what others do.



And I know if a person I hadn't seen in years said they'd been with their spouse less time than their oldest child it would make me curious but not enough to ask kwim?



So I like to be thorough. :)





Quoting Sun_Shine_990:

I always together 4 yrs this yr, married 2...





But most people know that you date a person before you marry them, well most of the time anyway...





Good luck. I wouldn't worry what everyone thinks though. But to each their own...




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LilliesValley
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:55 AM

If it concerns you that much say married 5 together for 7. I mean sometimes I'll tack on the 2 years we were together, like we' have been married this year for 10 but we'll have been together for 13 years this yea too. The kid thing probably is why you are sensitive on this point. Maybe we've been married and together for a total of 7 years, because in fact you weren't actually married for 7 years. Not trying to be a bitch here but you're asking, so that's my opinion. I think saying wwe've been together for 7 but married for 5 is no big deal.

mom2bahandcch
by Queen of the World on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:01 AM
I always say married for 9 but together for 10 . We got married a year and a half after we met.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:10 AM
I guess I just hate making the sentence longer than it needs to be lol.

Even just reading responses the adding the second part annoys me.

And no I wasn't "actually" married but were living as a married couple, and considered eachother such.

That's why I hate this difference with married and not, in the responses. We have been 100% committed since we knew that little girl was coming. I'll likely just start saying the overall unless people ask otherwise.


Quoting LilliesValley:

If it concerns you that much say married 5 together for 7. I mean sometimes I'll tack on the 2 years we were together, like we' have been married this year for 10 but we'll have been together for 13 years this yea too. The kid thing probably is why you are sensitive on this point. Maybe we've been married and together for a total of 7 years, because in fact you weren't actually married for 7 years. Not trying to be a bitch here but you're asking, so that's my opinion. I think saying wwe've been together for 7 but married for 5 is no big deal.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LilliesValley
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:18 AM
1 mom liked this

Then I don't see the problem, I mean your daughter is 6 say 6 years or say 7 because the wonderful world of pregnancy is that you're pregnant almost a year!!!! LOL!!! It's what matters to you. I say go for it and if someone else cares- So what! Let them care, you don't! The most important thing is that you are what you are, and if you feel better or need to say 7 then you do. And you've been married in your heart and head for 7 years, all you're talking about is the legal government view. And hey, (LOL!) some states living together is common marriage so maybe you have BEEN married for 7 years! Do what feels right for you. It does sort of suck sometimes I mean, you and I both put in those other 2 years and where's the credit for that? To me it's not important, but if it is include those 2 years.

Quoting AM-BRAT:

I guess I just hate making the sentence longer than it needs to be lol.

Even just reading responses the adding the second part annoys me.

And no I wasn't "actually" married but were living as a married couple, and considered eachother such.

That's why I hate this difference with married and not, in the responses. We have been 100% committed since we knew that little girl was coming. I'll likely just start saying the overall unless people ask otherwise.


Quoting LilliesValley:

If it concerns you that much say married 5 together for 7. I mean sometimes I'll tack on the 2 years we were together, like we' have been married this year for 10 but we'll have been together for 13 years this yea too. The kid thing probably is why you are sensitive on this point. Maybe we've been married and together for a total of 7 years, because in fact you weren't actually married for 7 years. Not trying to be a bitch here but you're asking, so that's my opinion. I think saying wwe've been together for 7 but married for 5 is no big deal.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)