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Need help with a clingy child

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Im a sahm, but i also baby sit my friends kids. One of the little girls i watch is super clingy. Like i cant even pretend to walk out of the room without her starting to scream and cry. It isnt just a whinny cry it is a full blown screaming at the top of her lungs, crying, snot running, coughing, the work! She is 10 months old. She only does this with me and her dad, she doesnt do it to her mom(she just whines at her) I cant seem to get anything done in the house. i have tried to let her cry it out and see if she stops but she will cry the whole time im not holding her. I end up putting her in my ergo so i can clean the house and make lunch and stuff for the other kids, but that kills my back! I have asked her parents what they do at home and they say they just let her cry. But at home both parents have help, so one can tend to baby and one can do whatever else. I dont have that help here because my df works. It has been almost 2 months now and idk how much more i can take. Any ideas ladies?

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:20 PM
Replies (11-20):
emmy526
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:06 AM

you might want to think about not watching her anymore, if caring for her is interfering with your ability to care for your own child, and take care of things you need to do.  

cupcake_mom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:09 AM

she goes with me even to the bathroom! i normally dont have a problem with my back with my ergo either but to carry her most of or the whole day bending and cleaning and washing and folding etc is going to hurt with a 15-20 lb baby on your back

Quoting doulala:

The carrier is good, but maybe a different style?
I have never heard of anyone having problems from that brand--    are you carrying weight with your hips instead?

What about bringing her with you, room to room?


cupcake_mom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:09 AM

that is NOT an option right now. this is our main source of income

Quoting emmy526:

you might want to think about not watching her anymore, if caring for her is interfering with your ability to care for your own child, and take care of things you need to do.  


emmy526
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:11 AM

find other kids to watch instead?

Quoting cupcake_mom:

that is NOT an option right now. this is our main source of income

Quoting emmy526:

you might want to think about not watching her anymore, if caring for her is interfering with your ability to care for your own child, and take care of things you need to do.  



cupcake_mom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:14 AM
1 mom liked this

there isnt anyone for me to watch. i dont watch strangers kids, im not certified through the state(dont have to be) so i wont watch kids i dont know

Quoting emmy526:

find other kids to watch instead?

Quoting cupcake_mom:

that is NOT an option right now. this is our main source of income

Quoting emmy526:

you might want to think about not watching her anymore, if caring for her is interfering with your ability to care for your own child, and take care of things you need to do.  




jesuschild06
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:04 AM
1 mom liked this

just gotta keep at it really. like i said, if she is perfectly fine, she doesnt need held. It may take some time but shell learn (but only if you never give in, the first time you give in, you have to start the process completely over). 

I know it is super frusterating, and the fact you are just babysitting makes it worse, but its kinda a choice YOU have to choose. If mommy and daddy have no ideas for you, and you cannot deal with it and need her out, then you just have to tell them that, and risk losing any siblings you might bewatching as well). Or you just deal with it as if she were your own. A 10 month old is old enough to understand rules (takes a while to teach, but every new rule takes a while to teach no matter the age), which means it is possible for her to calm down when being consistant. 

also, maybe suggest to the parents to talk to her dr?

Quoting cupcake_mom:

if im sittin on the couch and she is in the living room with her toys she is ok, has to be right next to me but doesnt cry. if we are in another room, nothing helps her stop crying unless it is me picking her up. she comes with me, i put her in the walker and she is right at my heals screaming. i talk to her and tell her she has to wait till im done and all that.

Quoting jesuschild06:

my guess is mommy has let her cry on her own more than daddy and you have. it is definately normal. before you leave a room are you holding her? though i believe babies need physical contact, holding her 24/7 doesnt do anygood.

i would just stick with the moving her from room to room, but not carrying her while doing your tasks. as long as she doesnt need a diaper change, isnt hurt, and isnt hungry, shes fine. and then, when you are done with the task, pick her up and hold her for a while. talk to her while you are doing the task, telling her its ok and as soon as your done youll pick her up. and when you pick her up tell her its ok, and you told her you would pick her up when you were done. 



swthrt737
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Whenever she cries and you are busy,put toys infront of her and play with her abit for illustration.
She'll get used to it,also tell the lil ones at home to involve her in their games by singing,dancing,clapping for her and playing with her. This worked for my sis.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

many kids that age go through this. I would bring her near you then set her down with a few toys. She needs to learn to be ok not being held.


CafeMom Tickers
MrsJoe125
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:09 PM

I would do two things:

1. I would put her in the walker and not make a big deal of her crying.  (I can explain how this works if you want, just LMK).

2. I would take baby steps from the situation where you are not holding her and she's not crying (you sitting on the couch, right?).  I would first, stand up and stretch, then sit back down.  When she's accustomed to that, I would change seats, but stay in the livingroom, just the next couch cushion will do at first.  (Again, I can explain further, if you want.  LMK)

I know it's hard when you have other children depending on you and you feel like one is so needy.  That one needs to learn that there is no actual need going unmet, that he or she is loved and well taken care of, but does not need to be held all the time.

sarahfaith123
by Sarah on Jan. 3, 2013 at 3:14 PM

I hate to suggest something that sounds unmanageable or unrealistic but could you hold her more for a few days or even weeks? Like arrange the day so the lunches are already ready and chores done before she arrives and leave little chores till she's gone. I don't know how many other kids or their ages but have an area ready for them to play or  with a project set up. I would hold her until she's secure knowing you care for her. I'd basically give in and hold her unlimited for a couple days or whatever you can tolerate maybe then she'll feel comfortable to get down. let us know how it turns out. This is an interesting question because it seems like sort of drastic that she wants to be held so much at that age instead of running around. 

Aishamusty
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:18 PM

Give this a trial because it might be she just wants in sight

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

many kids that age go through this. I would bring her near you then set her down with a few toys. She needs to learn to be ok not being held.


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