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toutchy advise needed about exposure to a child

Hi my name is Aubrey I have my daughter 4 and son 3. we recently had my ex not my kids dad expose himself to my daughter while I was at work. and when she told me i took her to the cops and had him thrown in jail its been 6 months but we lost our apartment/job and had to move towns to live with my mom and lost my grandpa who was very close with my kids so lots of changesin a small time sence this happend in a 2 month period  but he had 1 month in jail and 10 years supervised probation and a restraning order from us so no contact with him at all . but my daughter sometimes will mention him and what he did but she doesnt understand it was bad and i havent talked to her about it when she says something should i keep brushing it off or address it and tell her something. iv talked with her preschool teacher and she doesnt want to talk about it at all so im not sure what to do any advise?????????

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Talk to her, brushing it off is the worst thing you can do.
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by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:43 PM
Take her to a counselor or psychologist.
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by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:44 PM
P.s. I'm not saying its your fault but I hope this makes you more cautious about who you bring around your kids and who you leave them alone with.
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by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:47 PM

Your poor baby! 

I say bring her to therapy, and the area Woman's Sexual Assualt Center would have LOTS AND LOTS of resources and advice!

by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:50 PM
1 mom liked this

since all i have is your state here is some good websites for advocates throughout AZ.

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:58 PM

Thank you everyone this has helped so much

by Mariah on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:20 PM
It needs to be addressed, pronto. It may not keep her from bringing it up from time to time, but she needs to be reassured that she did no wrong, and also men should not do that.
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by Meghan on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:31 PM
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I hope to God that was only the first and last time that has happened. Poor baby girl. I hope brother hasn't been in a similar situation. I think it's crazy that people like that get PROBATION. He should stay in jail and let the guys who hate pedophiles beat his ass every single day. Just my opinion.

I think he should live with fear like she probably did. I'm sure she will have LOTS of questions, do not ignore them. It's important to remind her how wrong it was and how proud you are of her being brave and strong to tell you right away. That way she doesn't associate his wrong-doings and possibly feel like that made her in the wrong as well.

Being 4 years old she has a good possibility of forgetting it and for her future I really hope she does. But until then I think therapy is good. Talking to a professional in this field, you be present so you know how to address things the next time she talks about it. I think it will help you also. I cannot imagine someone crushing my childs trust and faith in them like that. 

by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 5:09 PM

 If you have insurance a professional LSW or counsler, your school counsler should be able to give some minor advise or you can contact your local MHMR or Social Services too find a good counsler in your specific area. You did everything right now its time to hopefully get a professional to take the lead. Great job IDK how you did it!

by Barb on Jan. 4, 2013 at 5:14 PM

I think I'd tell her that he shouldn't have done that. That seeing Mommy undressed is one thing, but an adult male shouldn't show a young child his private parts. I understand there are those who have no problem with children seeing the parents undressed, but this within the family, which her bio father isn't really.

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