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its not my place!

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 6:55 PM
  • 8 Replies
I maybe in the wrong group! But divorced ppl with kids..y do the mothers of those children get so bent out of shape? Y do they think bc the dads don't spend time with their kids the way the mother thinks they should get the right to take visitations away? I'm just saying Iv been divorced for almost 10yrs.. I know he isn't going to do the kids right, I know he don't take the importance in them like I do..but my kids love their dad, even tho I should b hurt bc he left me, I'm not..an I'm not gonna take he's rights away as a father, I don't receive child support an I don't want it..an I encourage my kids, even when they get let down by their dad, I don't run off to court! I know one day these kids will b grown an can make their own decisions about their dad..
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 6:55 PM
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Replies (1-8):
bpryce
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 6:56 PM
Revenge. Its the female way
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
savingtheworld
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 7:04 PM
So true!! I must b wired differently:)


Quoting bpryce:

Revenge. Its the female way

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
sabrtooth1
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:29 PM

Well, as I learned not too long ago, visitation is NOT a function of payment of child support.  Visitation can only be stopped by court order.  So if the FATHER REALLY wanted to see his kids, he could go to the court and say that he is being prevented from seeing his children, and the court will hold the MOTHER in contempt.  Of course, if the father is seriously behind in court-ordered child care, and turns up on the porch wanting to see the kids, the mother is entirely within her right to call the police and have HIM arrested for contempt of court.

On a more general note, if the court was never involved, and the mother just expected the sperm donor to pony up, and he DIDN'T, I see NO REASON why she should allow her child to be exposed to a useless, contemptable human being.  WHY would YOU want your child to spend time with, and learn from, a waste of air who could not be bothered to help support the child he helped create???  Is that what you want your child to turn into?

savingtheworld
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:24 PM
Yes..I understand those...my husband took off from work wich he does every Wednesday to take he's kids to school..one of the kids happened to b sick, hubby called ex wife that the child was sick, ex-wife didn't mind that, but wanted to know y the kids weren't at school at 7:20? They don't have to b their till 7:30? I mean really? She was cursing an very disrespectful to hubby, in front of the kids? Really?


Quoting sabrtooth1:

Well, as I learned not too long ago, visitation is NOT a function of payment of child support.  Visitation can only be stopped by court order.  So if the FATHER REALLY wanted to see his kids, he could go to the court and say that he is being prevented from seeing his children, and the court will hold the MOTHER in contempt.  Of course, if the father is seriously behind in court-ordered child care, and turns up on the porch wanting to see the kids, the mother is entirely within her right to call the police and have HIM arrested for contempt of court.


On a more general note, if the court was never involved, and the mother just expected the sperm donor to pony up, and he DIDN'T, I see NO REASON why she should allow her child to be exposed to a useless, contemptable human being.  WHY would YOU want your child to spend time with, and learn from, a waste of air who could not be bothered to help support the child he helped create???  Is that what you want your child to turn into?


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savingtheworld
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:27 PM
An with my kids..yes I'm completely aware he isn't going to get up to fix my kids breakfast..but that makes him a bad father? I should take him bk to court an take he's visitations away bc he can't make sure the kids eat breakfast before they go to school!


Quoting savingtheworld:

Yes..I understand those...my husband took off from work wich he does every Wednesday to take he's kids to school..one of the kids happened to b sick, hubby called ex wife that the child was sick, ex-wife didn't mind that, but wanted to know y the kids weren't at school at 7:20? They don't have to b their till 7:30? I mean really? She was cursing an very disrespectful to hubby, in front of the kids? Really?




Quoting sabrtooth1:

Well, as I learned not too long ago, visitation is NOT a function of payment of child support.  Visitation can only be stopped by court order.  So if the FATHER REALLY wanted to see his kids, he could go to the court and say that he is being prevented from seeing his children, and the court will hold the MOTHER in contempt.  Of course, if the father is seriously behind in court-ordered child care, and turns up on the porch wanting to see the kids, the mother is entirely within her right to call the police and have HIM arrested for contempt of court.



On a more general note, if the court was never involved, and the mother just expected the sperm donor to pony up, and he DIDN'T, I see NO REASON why she should allow her child to be exposed to a useless, contemptable human being.  WHY would YOU want your child to spend time with, and learn from, a waste of air who could not be bothered to help support the child he helped create???  Is that what you want your child to turn into?



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sabrtooth1
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 11:55 PM

 

Quoting savingtheworld:    An with my kids..yes I'm completely aware he isn't going to get up to fix my kids breakfast..but that makes him a bad father? I should take him bk to court an take he's visitations away bc he can't make sure the kids eat breakfast before they go to school!


Quoting savingtheworld:  Yes..I understand those...my husband took off from work wich he does every Wednesday to take he's kids to school..one of the kids happened to b sick, hubby called ex wife that the child was sick, ex-wife didn't mind that, but wanted to know y the kids weren't at school at 7:20? They don't have to b their till 7:30? I mean really? She was cursing an very disrespectful to hubby, in front of the kids? Really?

I have to admit, I don't have the smallest idea what you are talking about.   Neither of these statements have anything to do with non-payment of child support, which we have already established cannot prevent visitation.  However a NEGLECTFUL father -- i.e. one who can't get his lazy ass up out of bed to feed children their breakfast before they go to school, which is the most important meal of the day, and allows children to function properly at school -- well, the courts may certainly believe a father like THAT has no business spending unsupervised time with a child.  What if he isn't going to get up to feed them lunch, or dinner?  What if he decides to lay in bed while the children climb on an untethered TV, and it falls, crushing them to death?  What if he can't make sure the front door is locked, and the children wander out into the street, where they are run over? 

And is the father who couldn't be bothered to feed his children breakfast,  the SAME father who thinks it's OK to deliver a child to school at the LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT?  And whether they are or not, you don't see anything WRONG with those actions?   (Apparently, no ever taught you, "15 minutes early is "on time", and "on time" is LATE.) 

kaitybird
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Men work that way too, my first husband has been doing it to me for over 23 years.  He has done a great job at it, but the ones that have suffered the most are the boys that we had together that he took away playing nasty!

It is a shame that more people can't be like the OP.  My sister did the same no matter how she felt about her kids dad.  Her kids came first and her feelings for the man were put on a back burner.  Keep doing what you are doing we need more adults like you.  

Quoting savingtheworld:

So true!! I must b wired differently:)


Quoting bpryce:

Revenge. Its the female way


atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:31 PM

My aunt and uncle co parented very well and it showed in their kids.  My uncle even gave my cousin money and he didn't have to.  She had a different father but only met him a couple times.  She was as far as my uncle was concerned, his daughter. 

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