Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Scarring my 5 y.o DD for life? UPDATE!!!! 1/11/13

Posted by   + Show Post

My 5 y. o has a very....colorful...style.  She will match orange and black striped shirt with purple and yellow and white polk-a-dots skirt and tights.  I think it's fine, she's 5, and as long as it's weather appropriate i am not going to fight that battle with her.  My mother, however, has accused me of being a bad mother and of scarring my child for life by letting her wear mis-matched clothes.  What do all of you think?


OMG!!!!  My mother is being absolutely ridiculus!  I was told today that if I let her wear "those kind of outfits"  that she will be viewed as mentally unstable, no kids will want to play with her, the teachers will look down on her and my family (meaning her and my father and my brother and his kids) will be humiliated.  Seriously?  WTF!  I kinda lost my temper with her. Because she couldn't say it just once, she had to continue to harp on it.  Ugh.  I can not believe I am actually moving to with in 10 miles of her.  Limits are going to have to be set and if she can't abide by them she is NOT going to like it.  There are some other issues between us but we are making the move to save money and for our dd well being.  I just hope my mental health can handle being around her.more often.   

by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 9:16 AM
Replies (31-40):
ScrChk23
by Amanda on Jan. 6, 2013 at 8:37 AM

 She's 5.  Who cares what she is wearing?  If it was to a dress event like Church or a wedding or a funeral, then I would say you should make sure she matches.  Otherwise it does not harm anyone or her by wearing mismatched outfits.  She is expressing her creativity. You are teaching her to make decisions and be independent.

SKnack
by Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:22 AM

My DD puts together some questionable outfits herself. As long as she is wearing weather appropriate clothes, I don't really care what she's wearing. Except for in certain occasions, like school picture day, Christmas pictures, a place where you need to dress nice, something along those lines.

ZandarsMom
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:53 AM
Mismatched clothing is the new style.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jan. 6, 2013 at 12:47 PM
My kids always look like rodeo clowns.

I tried to fight it but gave up. They'll realize it someday.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Raveyk
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 1:08 PM

I think your mother is crazy lol

piwife
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 1:10 PM
My sister let's my niece dress how she wants. My niece dresses mismatch and with some crazy colors. She is 13 and has her own style
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bridixon09
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 1:16 PM

 I agree completely tell your mom to sthu eventually your dd will be tell you what clothes you should buy her and dressing herself all the time in what her age will call fashion and you wont be able to do anything about it. So let her be her. Besides she is your child not your moms and you can raise her however you want.

Quoting suetoo:

Tell your mother to shut her face. Really! Admire your daughters style wholeheartedly! Tell her, as I tell my dgd, "you go girl!" Colors are wonderful, no matter how they are mixed! Look at what a great job God did with the rainbow. My dgd is 4, and we are drawing rainbows and learning Roy G. Biv, (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet)   :-). She got an art desk, paints and markers for Christmas.

 

CafeMom Tickers
kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 1:37 PM

Hi Mandy. Welcome.  :)   

You are NOT scarring your daughter for life!  :)  

I would politely let your mother know that her time of raising her children is done and now its your turn. When you want advice, you will ask for it.  Until then, if she can't just make a suggestion and let it go at that, then she just needs to keep quiet. Period.   Tell her you love her, but you will not tolerate her belittling you or your methods. Especially if your methods are not putting your daughter's life in any danger.   :)

tinkzaimonster
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 2:29 PM

I wouldnt personally do it 

mcknitro
by Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 2:41 PM

No not at all.  It is important to let your child express themselves and have some independance.  As long as you find it appropriate, it is ok to let her wear what she wants. My DD will only wear dresses even in the winter.  Well that is fine except I make her wear cotton tight or warm leggings, depending on what the days activities are going to be.  If we are to play outside then she needs warmer pants and a coat appropriate for it. That is ussually a challenge and figh, but my rules so she has no choice.  Otherwise, let her express herself.  There is no harm in not matching.  I think your mothers fears are unwarranted.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)