Birth Dad wants in after 9 years! (No contact in 7.5 yr) Plz help!!
ok so a little background...
I had my daughter very young. The father was a bit older than myself, and should have been more mature. Not the case. We stayed together until my daughter was 3 and I broke it off. I had matured and grown up a bit and realized that working fast food and watching him play Playststion was NOT how I Wanted to spend my life, I had goals.
He was a needy man, the type that was seriously emotionally unbalanced. I didn't realize this at the time, as i do now. But when I left him, he became unstable for sometime. Time went by, and we had no contact, after the initial arguements the first few months. I didn't even file for Child support until my daughter was 6. I never received a penny from him, never asked him for anything. Although, he has always lived within driving distance, mostly the same city as me, and my number is still the same. IF he wanted to see her, he knew where to find her. When she got old enough to ask questions, I answered them to the best of my ability. As the questions got harder, so did the answers. I finally broke out an album and explained the best way I knew possible without corrupting her. I had tried contacting him multiple times after this, trying to let him know that I would no longer keep lying for him, that if he didn't want to be her father, I Was going to tell her that. He was with a new woman, who had a child from a previous relationship. He actually filed a restraining order or whatever it is called on me, said I was harassing him ??? lmao. I only called twice before this. So I eventually gave up. When my daughter was 3, I also met a wonderful man, the man I am with today. He had no children and wasn't going to be able to have children. He was married for 10 years and having my daughter was a blessing to him. After a couple years, she started calling him daddy, on her own. I was not going to direct her otherwise, beings that her real daddy wanted nothing to do with her.
My husband has always been there for her like a dad, raised her and supported her right beside me. And she knew he was not her real father, but never bothered asking questions really.
My daughter is now 9. I get a phone call from "Bio dad"s mother lol stating that he was going through some terrible times and needed his daughter in his life!! Apparently his girlfriend had been in an accident and passed away. Now that he is alone and lonely he wants to barge back into my daughters life. She over heard a conversation my husband and I were having and asked me about it. After explaining, she declaired that she DID want to meet her real dad. It hurts my husbands feelings that I would even allow the topic to become a consideration or a conversation after raising her for 6 years and never once seeing her dad try to come into her life, now he wants to be a dad bc he has no one else in his life.
I done know what to do. I am lost. I feel like saying hell no! And at the same time do not want to hurt my daughter, who is old enough to know whats going on, for the most part...
Please ladies, any insight would be great!