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How would you handle this?

Posted by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:35 PM
  • 24 Replies

What would you say to a family member who only wants to be apart of your life if there is something wrong?  I was talking to my Mom the other day and telling her that I was going to the DR for a lump I found in my breast and she said that my Grandma wanted to know about things like that with me. I asked her why, since she doesn't want to be apart of my life any other times due to lies from my brother and my exdh. I used to be very close with my family and now not at all. I speak with my Mom all the time but the rest I just have backed away from them.

My brother has caused issues wtih the family and instead of stressing out over it I just let it be and am living my life the best way I can, I have a DH, DS and 7 SK I worry about. I go to school full time and I just dont have time for drama and lies ( I get enough of that from the SK BM).

Anyway, how would YOU deal with this? Would you just not say anything and keep to yourself or would you let her know if something way wrong?

OH and I have tried to make a mends with my family over and over and nothing ever happens. DS spend time with them, I wont keep him from them, but with me, its not the same.

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FortWorthMomma
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:42 PM

BUMP!

LoveMyLos
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:44 PM
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I wouldnt tell anyone anything. None of their busness really.
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FortWorthMomma
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:47 PM

I tell my Mom only because we are really close and I keep her informed esp since she works for the Hospital I go to. But the rest I agree, I dont think they really need to know if they dont want to know anything else about my life.

Quoting LoveMyLos:

I wouldnt tell anyone anything. None of their busness really.


X_marks_the_.
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 1:37 PM
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I agree with both of you. Keep it to yourself. If they can't or have no desire to be your full time family they don't deserve to be part time.
hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this
you're her granddaughter. No matter what has been done or said in the past, she still has love for you and wants you healthy. She probably asks about you more than will ever know.



Yes, I think you should allow your mother to relay information good or bad to your grandmother, it shows she cares even if you two can no longer speak directly.



Good luck, I hope it's good news.
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luvemboth
by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this
It depends on why she's asking. Do you think she's concerned or just wants gossip to spread? My mil is the same way...doesn't really want to be in our lives, but lives off of problems in the family. We used to keep her in the loop until we learned she's not concerned for us, just wants the gossip, so we no longer tell her anything.
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datwins
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

i would just leave it alone let your mom know its ok totell her stuff she needs to know but as far as you talking to her i would just leave it if your not ready or already tried then just let it b

FortWorthMomma
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:10 PM

Thank you ladies, I dont know why she would really want to know, I mean I dont feel that she doesnt love me, I just think we have grown apart and with so much drama we cant get back to the same place we once were. I will let my Mom know what the DR says and then go from there on if I feel its OK for her to pass it along.

Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 7:21 PM
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My mother and grandmother before her, always make anything happening to me all about them and their feelings instead of about me. I don't feel helped that way. I don't tell them until the danger has passed. They wonder why.

FortWorthMomma
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 9:30 PM

After we first stopped really talking I did go to my dad and gma and told them about a medical issue I thought they would want to know about and her response to me was, 'well, what do you want from us'. My Dad didn't really say anything. So since then I have had surgeries and I didn't tell them, Im sure my Mom did though.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

My mother and grandmother before her, always make anything happening to me all about them and their feelings instead of about me. I don't feel helped that way. I don't tell them until the danger has passed. They wonder why.


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