My exdh and I have 2 children together ages 6 and 7. After we separated my exdh moved 600 miles (9 hour drive) away. We were both born and raised in this area we were living before the separation. At first he said it was a temporarily move but he has since remarried and has no intentions on moving closer back to where the kids and I still live I even tried a compromise, if he moved a few hours south closer to us, we would move a few hours north closer to him. He then could see the kids every weekend. His job is extremely flexible bc he is an offshore worker. His job pays for his transportation to and from work no matter where he is in the US. We have 50/50 custody both legal and physical, and no child support either way, although they go to school with me, so they are here more of course.
I am engaged. I have been with my SO for 5 years. My SO and I had talked about moving closer to where the kids father moved too. That way the kids can see their dad more often. My SO is fine with us moving closer to them, even though it puts us away from both our families and fiends. Well my SO was just offered a job making 4 times the amount he currently makes. The downfall is it is 1800 miles away from where my ex is. SO has been in their lives since they were 1 and 2. They see him as dad as well.
We are torn. Where SO's new job is located is a beautiful area, good schools, and it is a job he will love to do. He has left the decision up to me. If we move with him, the kids won't see their father as much. My SO would only be able to visit a week every few months if we move closer to the kids father. I need to add in, SO and I have a 2 year old together and we will be married later this year.
My feelings is starting to lean towards.... Because my exdh decided to move away and continue to stay where he is for his happiness, then why shouldn't I move with my SO for my happiness? My exdh didn't take into consideration the lack of seeing the kids when he moved, or he took it into consideration and didn't think moving closer to be near them was worth the move back. I had suggested that exdh and I both move closer to the middle of where we are currently and he said he likes where he is and doesn't plan on moving.
Our custody order does not prevent either of us from moving. We only have to give a 60 day's notice before we move where we are moving too. We are each responsible for half the cost of travel for the kids to go to the other parent for holidays and such.