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need help

Posted by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:09 AM
  • 7 Replies

Ok so my new years resolution this year was to get organized around here.  I need your ladies help because I want to put my family on a structured routine but I have a hard time sticking to one.  It seems I can't find the time to do everything or it just feels that maybe im trying to put everything on there and the don't allow myself to do it all.  I just think maybe I don't know what im doing.  So I figured I would tell you ladies what I need to have on the routine and then maybe you gusy can fill it in.  I am at a loss.  I have wrote routines down but none have worked.  I am hoping that maybe one of you gals have a better way of going about it. So here are the things that have to be in there.

My oldest has to be at the bus stop by 7:15

I have a baby that is 4 months old

and I have a 5 year old that is still at home (birthday is sep. 8) won't be in school till next year.

What I am looking for is time to play with all 3 of my kids either seperetly or together.  I am also looking for time to get house work done.  My middle child who is 5 has started doing some weird things to help sooth her.  I need this to help my middle child but I just don't know where to start.  I figured that if I bring in a structured routine the it would help settle her nervs a bit.  So please help.  I realy need this.

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:09 AM
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by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 9:29 AM
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First sit down and write out all the things that HAVE to get done tomorrow. Then write the things that you would really like to get done. Then the things that if you have the time, you will get to them but it isn't urgent. They key is to prioritize. The absolute MUST GET DONE TOMORROW list goes onto your schedule first. If there are time limits--like getting your oldest child on the bus, put them in time slots. Anything that has to be done to prepare for those-like getting him/her fed and dressed and backpack ready and lunches made--put those in their appropriate time slots. Anything that can be done in advance--backpacks, lunches--see if you can do the night before so mornings aren't quite so hectic. Then the things you really would like to get done. Are there empty time slots they could go in? If so, put them in. If not, they can move to the next day. I've found if you keep a daily list, it really does help. (Plus you can then see if you're getting behind or if you are ahead of schedule and can "afford" to do something extra) Above all else, be flexible. If you schedule every second of every day, you will never have time to stop and watch the world through your child's eyes!
Hope this helps!

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:23 AM
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by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:14 AM

One lady mentioned flylady, but didn't mention how WONDERFUL her site, and her suggestions really are.  She will tell you "baby steps"... start small.  If you write a detailed schedule, and try to stick to it right away, you will be frustrated and quit.  The schedule is a GREAT idea... but take baby steps to get there.  

You should start with a basic weekly schedule.  Using Flylady's suggestion, it might be something like this:

Monday- one hour home "blessing" (her words)  she spends one hour, working as fast as possible, to do as much as possible, and that's good enough for now.  You might change the sheets, make the bed, give the bathrooms a swipe, sweep floors and vacuum.  I don't know how much you could get done, but do NOT use this time to sort and put away stuff.  That takes too long.  This hour is just to attack the basic stuff.

Tuesday- water plants.  Once a week is enough.  More houseplants are killed by kindness than by neglect.  

Wednesday - pay bills.  This is paperwork day.  Sort through mail, toss junk mail, file papers, etc. No more than an hour on Wednesdays.

Thursday - clean out fridge, write menus, make grocery list.

Friday - run errands, buy groceries.

Saturday - clean out the car, play with the kids 

Sunday - TAKE OFF.  You have to cook meals, of course, but you need to have a break.  You can't work every day. Make this a family day, but also take some personal time just for yourself.

Flylady has more suggestions - you'll figure it out.  IT's a great site.

As for a schedule for your middle child, my entire website is focused on that.  I'll suggest you check it out, and then if you have questions, you can email me privately - so I'm not guilty of "advertising" myself.  My website is free, I take no money for it.  But it is for stay-home parents of preschool children.  The address is .  Good luck!

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 5:23 PM

 Flylady is wonderful.

Also making lists room by room and order of importance help too

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:25 PM

I wouldn't carve out time to play with the kids separately.

Including them in the fun and intrinsic rewards of keeping house (if you don't feel this way about it, you know they won't --work on your attitude first!) and you will have lots of time together.

One rule I loved when I read it was 'if I'm working, you have to work too if you want to be in the same room' (obviously the baby will always be with you...) which can encourage big and little kids to dust, fold laundry, wash the sink or put away dishes...

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 4:36 PM

Start with the oldest --- do one thing at a time and give every a reward after u do something as well a sthe kids .do  not try to do it all at once cause u well get overwhemed.the oldest child and the 5 year old are both old enough to do stuff to help but make it fun!!and make sure u allow time to play with each child individual and on the weekend do something fun as a family but do u have someone to take the kids at least one day a week for mommy time .

i also need more more info  about the 5 year old ...what do u mean by weird things to sooth themselves?

by on Aug. 12, 2013 at 1:48 AM

Thank you gals for all the help.  I will have to start with the lists and stuff.  I have done a good job so far but there is always room for improvment.  My 5 year old was chewing on her shirt, and chewing on her hair, and lets just say their are some things i found her doing that are a little more private.  I needed to find outlets for her to derect her attention to other things.  She has finally stoped chewing on her clothes and hair.  She has a couple friends that come over and play, when it looks like she is getting realy bored i bring out the craft stuff for her, and we do other stuff to keep her mind buisy.  The girls have started doing chores so that has been helping alot.  On the weekends we have started taken them to the parks, zoo, and out 4 wheel riding and stuff also.  This summer has been alot of fun.  My house may not be exactly how i want it yet but it is deffinetly on the right track of getting there. the other thing that has happend this summer is my oldest started sleep walking.  she doesn't just sleep walk but its almost like she is seeing things that aren't there.  So she now has to be on a very tight sleeping routine and schedule untill she grows out of it.  Her doc said that its fairly normal for kids her age to sleep walk but most kids grow out of it.  But anyway thank you guys for all the great advice :)

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