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How do I do this without hurting this persons feelings?

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My daughter is currently in girl scouts. I met her leader at our kids school. She is a very nice person and we talked a while about my daughter joining her troop. Once a week all the girls meet the leader after school and they all walk to her house where the meetings are held. The first day when I went to pick up my daughter I was just blown away when I walked into her house. The house isn't just cluttered and messy but discustingly dirty. I thought to myself, maybe she was in the middle of spring cleaning or something????? I asked my daughter how the meeting went and she mentioned how filthy the house was. Anyway, she has gone to 4 other meetings and the house is still the same. It is literally not a sanitary environment and I really don't want my daughter to be over there any more. The thing is, is that one of her good friends at school is in her troop and she likes being with her and I don't want to take her away from that. At the same time I do not want my daughter in that house. I can't just tell the leader that my daughter won't be in her troop anymore because her house is discusting. She is a really nice person and I don't want to hurt her feelings. How do I get my daughter out of the troop? It is the only troop in our city.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:58 AM
Replies (11-20):
by Barb on Jan. 11, 2013 at 9:19 PM

Becoming a leader is actually a good thing. I was leader of my son's cub scout den, and I loved it.  I made the parents understand from the beginning that they were expected to participate. Each family was to host an outing for the boys-  the boys went on a boat ride, a backyard camping outing, visited various businesses- whatever the parents wanted to do. They also took turns providing snacks at the meetings. I received ample training at the pow-wow meetings.  The den actually started a small band where each boy played whatever instrument he was taking in school, and if none, used a triangle or other simple instrument, and they played for the blue and gold banquet. So what I'm saying is the opportunity to be a leader may be something that you'll not want to miss.

A disadvantage, of course, is that your own kids aren't exposed to another adult and they way they live. 

by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:35 PM

Offer to have the meetings in your house! Or contact who ever is "above" the leader & let her know the situation.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:43 PM
I would ask her to move the meeting thats gross
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by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:55 AM

I don't think you can avoid hurt feelings. All scout troops have a regional office. She is a volunteer and there are paid employees above her. It is not that easy to get volunteers to take on the responsibility and this might result in her being removed. Are you willing to assume the responsibility? How long has she been a leader? If this is her first year...others might not know. If she has been a leader for a few years, it could be a really bad situation. Have you talked to the mom of your daughter's friend? This is tough and I do not envy you. Is your home within walking distance of the school where you could host the meetings?

by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:41 AM

You could start your own troop

by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:48 AM

I thought it was against the rules to have meetings in private homes?  Well, not against the rules really but there are a lot of requirements that the house must meet before it will be allowed.  Since she is the only troop in the town does that mean she is also the coordinator?  She does have a second adult with her during the meeting, correct?

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:52 AM
If you don't want to hurt her feelings I wouldn't go to the Girl Scout ASsc. I would talk to the mom directly, and tell her the truth. She may get her feelings hurt, but your daughters and other little girls may get hurt physically. When it comes to my kids, I know it may be mean, but I don't think of the other persons feelings. Either talk to her or take her out of the troop.
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by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 4:46 PM
maybe u can say my dd has alleges and it seams wen she is at ur house thy act up .and offer ur house up or talk wth the other moms and each week have a different house to meet at .
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 5:52 PM

We always had our meetings in the school after hours.  Maybe you could just tell her politely that having your child in her home is a little concerning to you.  Not because of her, just because having her child in any private place without you is what bothers you.  Suggest they find a public place like a school.

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:21 PM

call a maid to her house without her knowing?

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