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How do I do this without hurting this persons feelings?

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My daughter is currently in girl scouts. I met her leader at our kids school. She is a very nice person and we talked a while about my daughter joining her troop. Once a week all the girls meet the leader after school and they all walk to her house where the meetings are held. The first day when I went to pick up my daughter I was just blown away when I walked into her house. The house isn't just cluttered and messy but discustingly dirty. I thought to myself, maybe she was in the middle of spring cleaning or something????? I asked my daughter how the meeting went and she mentioned how filthy the house was. Anyway, she has gone to 4 other meetings and the house is still the same. It is literally not a sanitary environment and I really don't want my daughter to be over there any more. The thing is, is that one of her good friends at school is in her troop and she likes being with her and I don't want to take her away from that. At the same time I do not want my daughter in that house. I can't just tell the leader that my daughter won't be in her troop anymore because her house is discusting. She is a really nice person and I don't want to hurt her feelings. How do I get my daughter out of the troop? It is the only troop in our city.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:58 AM
Replies (21-29):
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:23 PM

When I was in girl Scots we never went to anyone house. I would ask are they always going to meet at your house?

by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:49 PM

I would tell her that it does not fit into my child's routine and her schedule and was putting unde strain on the family.

by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM

Or simply, This isn't working out for us. Maybe in a couple years.

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 7:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Not everyone has the same standards of clean however... If you're going to have company over one should make the house presentable. Is there dirty clothes everywhere? Or clean laundry stacked on the couch waiting to be folded? Dirty Dishes in the sink or clean ones not put away? A floor that hasn't been mopped or kids with muddy shoes running in and out all day? Ive seen super clean houses and the people will say pardon the mess ( a piece of paper on the table) Bring up your concerns with the leader and ask her if something is going on? A fight, depression, just not a good housekeeper? If she says mind your own business then let it be.. Offer an alternative location

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:46 PM

Maybe suggest they stay at school for the meetings or some other place.  I can understand your concern if it looks like it belongs on the "Horders; Barried Alive" show. 

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:39 PM

I was a co-leader of my daughters troop for a few years and discovered that the leaders are not allowed to have meetings at private residences. They are also not even allowed to give girls a ride home after a meeting unless a permission slip is signed. So this probably shouldn't be going on. They should have the meetings at school or some other public place to avoid any issues like this. There is someone above the troop leader that you can talk to, I would call the district office and check.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:41 PM

I would make two phone calls - #1 to social services. #2 to the head of the girl scout people.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:38 PM

I think honesty is always the best policy even if it is hard. You can be tactful about it though.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:19 AM

Thanks for all of the replies. You all have given me a lot to think about. I need to contact the leader tomorrow and I will update.

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