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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

jealousy

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:54 AM
  • 7 Replies

ok so i have a 3 1/2 yo son and im currently prego with #2. Im a little bit worried about how my son is going to handle not being the only child anymore. he knows that their is a baby in mommys belly and that the baby will be coming to live with us soon and he seams excited about it when we talk but a friend of mine had a baby recently and we all went to see the baby and at first my son thought the baby was cool and wanted to play with it and help feed it and everything UNTILL... I picked up the baby then he got very jealous and wanted me to put the baby down and hold him. so i guess im just wondering if anyone has any ideas on how i can help prepare him a little more for the arrival of his sister?

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:54 AM
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Replies (1-7):
othermom
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:25 AM

What I did with my kids is have them pick a toy to give the baby when they were born, have them help pick out some of the babys clothes, get them a toy from the baby. Also got them involved by getting things for the baby, letting them hold the baby with help,  and things like that. Also making sure when people come to see the baby they spent some times with them too, make special time with the older child, ect.   Also with my son I got him a doll and showed him how we would hold the baby, ect before I had my second child.

mommyagain2013
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:45 AM

that sounds really great im definitely going to try the doll idea . Thank you

Quoting othermom:

What I did with my kids is have them pick a toy to give the baby when they were born, have them help pick out some of the babys clothes, get them a toy from the baby. Also got them involved by getting things for the baby, letting them hold the baby with help,  and things like that. Also making sure when people come to see the baby they spent some times with them too, make special time with the older child, ect.   Also with my son I got him a doll and showed him how we would hold the baby, ect before I had my second child.


annie2244
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Is he in pre-school daily? He needs that for his own intellectual growth and daily happiness. Pre-school keeps him active physically and mentally, which keeps him emotionally happy. It gives him a varied life outside the 4 walls of your home. The biggest nightmare I could envision is a bored 4 y/o watching mom spend much of her time caring for a newborn.

That said, I'd straight up tell him - most families have more than one kid. That doesn't mean mom or dad loves any kid less. But mom's and dad's are responsible to take care of each kid. There will be sometimes that mom or dad needs to feed or change the baby and can't play with you. Big brothers are responsible to take care of little sisters and brothers too. You are a big boy now who has earned some responsibilities because you're so smart and can do so many things. Let's pretend with this baby doll - I'll be in the rocker feeding the baby, and you bring me a baby blanket b/c your little sister is cold. Let's change the baby doll - I've got her on the changing table, you bring me the desitin.

And every evening we are going to have mommy and big brother solo time for 30 minutes. And you get to have daddy and big brother solo time every day too.  So - when you want to do something and I can't b/c I'm taking care the baby right then, we can make sure we do it in our mommy-big boy time.

DaniandTom
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:54 AM

All he really needs is reassurance that he isn't being replaced. Talk to him about HIS role--being a big brother and how important he is to his sister. How she is going to need him to help her learn things because she won't know anything! How you're going to need his help and thank him for being there for you. When the baby comes, make some time for him each day when the baby sleeps so he feels special. Talk to him about how he's feeling and how you're feeling! He's probably going to regress a bit when your baby comes but that's perfectly normal behavior. And remember...it won't last forever!

MyDayDawning
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:02 PM

I have advice my mom gave me:  When the baby is brought home, have someone, safely of course (!),hold the baby outside and first hold your arms wide for your other children, tell them how much you love them.  Then it is about them too.

Then bring the new baby in.

I only had one pregnancy but had twins.  Still, the second twin is jealous that his bro was born first ... what's a mother to do except to apply the meaning of the above ... 

Hope this helps!!

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:04 PM
My dd was like that too. You just have to give attention and have him help you. Have to say my DD is 21 now, and still has some jealosy. Just her personality.
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jakesmom323
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:10 PM
I worried about my soon to be 3 year old being jealous of his brother. I just talked about him everyday and when he came to the hospital, his "new brother" bought him a new Buzz Lightyear. It was a big hit and it associated positive feelings when he thought of his brother:) Congrats!
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