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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

okay so i need some advice!

My partner is terrible when it comes to gifts. I love him dearly, but it kinda makes me very upset! I love holidays and birthdays and i feel when that time comes people should go all out.

For my birthday he just took me out to eat which was ok but i kinda expected more. For Christmas i got him 2 very large expensive canvases because he is a painter, a wii and an xbox game, and a star wars coffee cup. what did he get me? a $10 i tunes card... ok, think im over reacting? For our last anniversary i painted something beautiful that took a week and gave him a nice card, what did he get me? oh! thats right, he didnt get me anything...

His birthday and valentines day is around the corner and im still upset about all the other stuff. I always go out for him but now im thinking whats the point! He might not even remember to get me anything.

So what should i do? should i stop going all out? I dont wanna hurt his feelings by telling him this because he is very sensitive. Does anyone else have this problem?



CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:49 PM
Replies (21-25):
sabrtooth1
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:36 PM
He hasn't bothered to marry you, and he ignores you on holidays and special days. What is it you see in this guy? He does this because he CAN. Put your foot down, but don't be surprised if he doesn't care.
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RutterMama
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:49 PM

You need to talk to him, but also sounds like you should lower your expectations a bit. My hubby doesn't think much about it because 'gifts' isn't his love language. But if you talk to him, and try to talk to him in HIS love language, he'll likely work harder to talk to you in yours.

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:34 AM

This is a great book!

Quoting DaniandTom:

Read the five love languages by Dr Gary Chapman. In it, he explains how people show love in different ways and how if you're the kind of person who shows love by giving gifts, you're going to be disappointed by someone who shows love in different ways. He may show his love for you by doing things around the house or by handing over his paycheck at the end of the week. He might be someone who doesn't appreciate the big expensive gifts but really appreciates a hand-knitted scarf or sweater. You just need to find how he expresses his love for you, do that for him and explain what you would like. I'm married to a man who is like that too. He never got more than a coffee cup from the dollar store from his ex or kids and when I came around, I showered him with gifts. He didn't know what to make of it! In turn, he got me a drying rack for my sweaters so I didn't have to lay them around the house. WT...??? It took me a while and finding this book to understand how he shows his love is different than how I show my love. 


mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:09 AM

I went through something similair with my SO and this year I gave him 2 lottery tickets. I think he got the message loud and clear! Buy yourself some sexy undies and or nightgown,put it on with a ribbon on it or in your hair and tell him "happy birthda hon,I'm your present!

Groove
by Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:14 AM
for me and my bf, its vice versa. He goes all out for gifts. Our bday, yule, anniversary, and valentine's are within 6 weeks. I suck at giving gifts. Suck. He on the other hand LOVES going all out. I'm just clueless on what to get him.
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