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Biting Grandson.

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:58 PM
  • 15 Replies

My daughter is having trouble with her  18 month ols son.  He bites her and at pre school.  She has done everything she can think of to stop it without succss.  Any ideas?  We are out.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MeghMirab
by Meghan on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:02 PM
1 mom liked this

When my son went through the biting stage we just put our finger on his lips and would say "ouch, that hurts, do not bite." He eventually would know that it hurts and it's not nice. I don't think there is a simple, quick fix to biting. But this seemed to work really well for us. Kids work off of our reactions. If you're concerned rather than angry I feel like it's more effective. Good luck! 

UpSheRises
by Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:46 PM

First, is he a "W" sitter? Does he sit on the ground with his legs in the shape of a W instead of crossed or straight out in front of him? That indicates a different problem than i what will describe below.

Unfortunately biting at that age is developmentally appropriate. In most cases there isn't a single cause for the biting...it more of a problem solving technique. Toddlers bite because it works. When you bite someone, they drop the toy then you can have. Or...they cry and everyoneyells and makes a big fuss, which is very exciting when you are just learning how to control your environment...very empowering for a toddler to have that much impact, KWIM?

What you have to do is help him find other ways to solve his problem. You have to figure out why each individual bite happens and work with him on another solution. The problem is, because biting is developmentally appropriate by the time you've found better solutions he's grown out of it anyways.

If possible, find a biting friendly center. That means they have a procedural response to biting other than "third bite and you're out". They should document the circumstances surrounding every bite to determine a pattern. Does he bite when he's tired? Does he bite when a child gets to close to him, does he bite when someone tries to take a toy?

It also sounds like he absolutely needs to be shadowed. How many adults are in his class at the center? If there is only one the chances of getting hte biting under control are slim to none.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:51 PM

What have you tried that did not work?  I dont want to suggest anything that you already tried.  There is no fast fix for this common occurrance in toddler hood.  Consistency in reaction is key.

LuLuRex
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:28 PM

I have the same questions about what you've tried os far. Toddlers are really tough, just try to be consistent!

Quoting frndlyfn:

What have you tried that did not work?  I dont want to suggest anything that you already tried.  There is no fast fix for this common occurrance in toddler hood.  Consistency in reaction is key.


Reina13
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:47 AM

Im sorry I dont have any advice to offer, but I hope you can find a resolution. Good luck



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DaniandTom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:57 AM
1 mom liked this

Toddlers bite out of frustration and other strong feelings that they're unable to express and release. Imagine how frustrating it would be to have everything limited and be unable to do anything you want to do. You see all these other people doing things that look fun, ignoring you when you want them, not playing the games you want to play, not playing with you at all, being too close when you don't want them near you or even just feeling deep love, anger or other strong feelings without any way to express them. Have you ever looked at your child and just been so consumed with love that you wanted to just pick them up and squeeze them? They feel those feelings as well and sometimes it's just overwhelming! 
You need to show him that there are other ways to express his feelings without biting. Depending on your child, that may mean talking to him calmly, removing him from the situation and giving him a "time out" of a minute or so or just hugging him and telling him he can't bite because it hurts. Be consistent with  whatever you do. This stage will pass! ♥Hugs♥

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:14 PM
3 moms liked this

My son was a biter, the only thing that worked was biting him back, he never did it again. I don't think they realize how much it hurts when they do it to someone.

LindaClement
by Linda on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:44 PM

Very close, physical supervision is necessary. Biting is, at this age, a communication tool --other kids are getting too close, he's being overwhelmed or he otherwise can't express himself effectively.

Being right near him so when he lunges in to bite, there is an adult hand available to gently and firmly press his forehead backwards is all that is necessary to stop this actual bite. To stop him biting at all, someone needs to be with him all the time to spot what's provoking it and helping him find the words (and space) to say what he needs without it.

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:14 PM

@ laurie ~~  Best advice on the block! I would have suggested the same thing only it was already being said.  lol :)  

Seriously though, this is good advice and its dead on too. 

Quoting DaniandTom:

Toddlers bite out of frustration and other strong feelings that they're unable to express and release. Imagine how frustrating it would be to have everything limited and be unable to do anything you want to do. You see all these other people doing things that look fun, ignoring you when you want them, not playing the games you want to play, not playing with you at all, being too close when you don't want them near you or even just feeling deep love, anger or other strong feelings without any way to express them. Have you ever looked at your child and just been so consumed with love that you wanted to just pick them up and squeeze them? They feel those feelings as well and sometimes it's just overwhelming! 
You need to show him that there are other ways to express his feelings without biting. Depending on your child, that may mean talking to him calmly, removing him from the situation and giving him a "time out" of a minute or so or just hugging him and telling him he can't bite because it hurts. Be consistent with  whatever you do.

This stage will pass! ♥Hugs♥ 


  

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la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:19 PM

 

Quoting MeghMirab:

When my son went through the biting stage we just put our finger on his lips and would say "ouch, that hurts, do not bite." He eventually would know that it hurts and it's not nice. I don't think there is a simple, quick fix to biting. But this seemed to work really well for us. Kids work off of our reactions. If you're concerned rather than angry I feel like it's more effective. Good luck! 

 Yup, that's we did as well. Worked like a charm!

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