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I'm in need of a little advice:)

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:02 PM
  • 12 Replies

Hi I am wondering what to do.my middle child started kindergarten in the fall, and everything has been going well, and for the most part I really like his teacher, but something has been bothering me about a program they have put my son in.They asked me at the beginning of the year if it would be ok for Erik to have a mentor someone from a local church that would come and work with him on different subjects.at the time I didn't have a problem with it, and thought it would be good for him because he has never been in any sort of structured environment outside of the home.hes never even been to daycare.so school was a little overwhelming at first.after a few weeks of him being in the program I found out that only 2other children out of28 are in this mentor program, I thought it was strange so I looked more into it and it'swebsite claims it is a program for quote "at risk " children..hmmm thought, why would my son be considered at risk?his father and I are happily married, and have been for 12 years, my husband has a great job , we make pretty good money with my online business as well.we are not rich , but are by no means poor.so I had to wonder why.the last staw  came around Christmas time , his teacher called and said that someone had donated Christmas gifts to needy families in the area, and that I could pick up our gifts at the school.i thanked her for the genourous offer , but I explained to her that I'm sure the gifts were needed by another family more than us, she seemed to think it was just my pride getting in the way so she just dropped them off at the school office and said I should pick them up.so I did, but I donated them to a local charity.im really frustrated about it I don't understand why, and the only answer I've been able to come with is pretty sad, my son is half Hispanic, my husband is from Mexico,and 'coincidently" the other 2 children in the program are also minority's. I really hate to think its that, but I don't know what else to think, I know that being poor is nothing to be ashamed of, and there have been times when we weren't so well off and needed help, but right now we don't.so I guess my question is what should I do, if anything?cnfront the teacher , ask why my son was chosen for the mentor program?thanks, jamie

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:02 PM
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:23 PM

Unfortunately your child may be mistaken for high risk through his school career just based on his background in genetics.  I would do as you do and just tell them thank you and pass the gifts on to someone else who may need them. Have you had a conference with the teacher about the financial stuff?   I still think the mentor is a good idea for any child and couldnt hurt unless they are teaching the child negative things.

Bieg9093
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:31 PM

 Wow.  I thought maybe they had a mentor for him because he hadn't attended preschool , and maybe that's unusual in your area.  But the gifts?

Yeah...I'd ask the teacher to explain.  If the teacher doesn't know why, ask the principal or school social worker.  Maybe there was just a mix up, or maybe you're right about the Hispanic last name thing.  Whatever the case, best to clear things up.  Is your older child in the same school?

JamieLynn7729
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:38 PM

Thank you for your reply, yes I agree he really seems to enjoy his mentor coming to visit with him, so I wouldn't dream of taking that away from him, I just feel like I should know why he was chosen.i hate to think he is being subject to racial profiling so early in his life, but I don't know what else to think.Also my oldest son is in the same school district(he is autistic and in a spec.ed program)and he has never been nvolved in any sort of program like this or had things donated.i have a feeling it's just this teacher:/

arango
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:39 PM
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Hmmm.... i def would say something. How rude! omg! i want to say so much twords this but i will just stick to my first comment.. say something
✔good luck ツ
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JamieLynn7729
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Also I should add that the my son and the other 2 children in the program are the only minorities in the class, all the other children are caucasian , or at least they have causcasian last names, my youngest is blond and blue eyed, so you really can't tell someone's heritage by looking at them.

sabrtooth1
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Is your son academically on target?  Can he count to 20, know the letters in both upper and lower case, read, write his name, know colors, shapes, (in English!) can he sit quietly for 15 minutes, take turns, share,etc...

If he CANNOT, THAT may be the reason for the mentor, and it is just co-incidental that your son is Hispanic. 

JamieLynn7729
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:55 PM

At the last conference she told me that he was academically on track, and he is ahead in some areas, and yes In english, we only speak English at home, he also knows some Spanish because I feel it's important for him to be able to communicate with his grandparents in Mexico.He is an extremely smart child , he can use a computer better than some adults, he can read some words and write his name.I know it's not that.

offrdngal
by Terri on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Did you apply for free or reduced lunch or assistance wirh textbook rental?

JamieLynn7729
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:08 PM
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That is a really good point , he does get reduced lunch, I hadn't thought of that.even though we are at the end of the limits to receive a reduced lunch I guess that could be the reason.thanks, I feel a little relieved:)

UpSheRises
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:18 PM
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He could be considered at risk for a variety of reasons. My federally funded program uses 13 different indicators to determine at risk status. It isnt all income related. Plus, depending on how the program is funded they may have the flexibility to serve risk free children if space allows. You got gifts because its easier to give them to everyone than to keep track of individual families.

Don't be offended. Being mistaken for a poor person isnt the worst thing that could happen to a person.
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