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Pre-School Disaster!

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:18 PM
  • 19 Replies

So today was probably my worst "mommy day"  ever!!!!  My little girl, 2 years & 8 months, started pre-school today.  She is an only child and I was very clear with the school (run by a local husband & wife) that my daughter had never been in a daycare or pre-school setting before.  I explained that she would probably have a hard time the first few days and would need a lot of attention until she trusted them and felt comfortable.  They said they were fine with this, had been taking care of children for 25 years, and were sure she would be fine.  I took her there last week to meet them and play for a while and she was okay.  I know she is a little young for pre-school but I really wanted to find somewhere she was comfortable and would not have to move her in six months.  Anyway, today was her first day, was supposed to be there from 9am - 1pm.  Well, she cried when I said good-bye (which I totally expected & I cried all the way to work).  I held out as long as I could and finally called around 11am to check on her and could hear her crying in the background.  The husband told me that they did not feel she was emotionally ready and that I should come and get her.  He said that she had been throwing herself on the floor and crying uncontrollably since I left.  I truly have never seen her that upset and raced to go pick her up.  I cried all day, mad at myself for putting her in a situation that she was not ready for.  I feel like an epic failure as a mom right now.  I am also panicked as I am planning to start working full-time in the next few weeks.  I am  annoyed that they let her get so upset, I am confident that if they had seriously tried to console her, they could have.  I am not blaming them (although as the day goes on my anger is increasing, a truly emotinal day but I feel as though I need to sleep on it) but could they could have done a little more to help her adjust?.  If they do not have the patience to deal with her integration I DEFINITELY do not want her there but I need to find another solution.  My next step is a daycare facility that I already toured & liked but now I am in a total panic that she will freak out again & they will not be patient with her. 

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
x_Starr_x
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this
get a new daycare I had to do that after 2 days at one horrid place my kids were at.
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah way too young for a preschool.  Look for a child care center that transitions into preschool type curriculums for the older children.  Poor girl. 

carolina_gal
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:39 AM
1 mom liked this

 You really have to find a place you're comfortable with.  Keep looking.

Quoting frndlyfn:

Yeah way too young for a preschool.  Look for a child care center that transitions into preschool type curriculums for the older children.  Poor girl. 

 

Jadegirl1819
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:44 AM
2 moms liked this

Obviously they aren't a very good place.  If she was throwing herself on the floor screaming/crying they should have called you and not waited until you called. Were they going to let her do that until you picked her up? 

I bet you can find a much better place than that.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:17 AM
1 mom liked this
My dd's started at 2 1 /2. It is not too young. Many are in daycare.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Yeah way too young for a preschool.  Look for a child care center that transitions into preschool type curriculums for the older children.  Poor girl. 


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ferne3
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:43 AM
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Agreed.  Our DD has been in daycare since very young.  The first was AMAZING and couldn't have been a better experience.  It was a pretty big place but they loved and cared for her as their own.  We then moved across country for my husband's job and the next one was below par.  We gave it a chance, and then pulled her out to daycare #3 which is ok - although sometimes I disagree with them, but it has still been good for her.  Some kids have a harder time transitioning, so I am not going to say there are no tears (my friend's DD didn't start until around your child's age and still cries when she leaves) but it shoudl be much shorter and they should be much better about calling you if it lasts longer than 15-20 minutes -since that is about average.  Daycare should work better than preschool and make sure you are comfortable with the teacher/child ratios since that will allow them the flexibility to cuddle her as needed.  And TOTALLY go with your mommy instincts on this one.  If a place doesn't feel right, turn around and walk out.  Another option (although I have no advice on this one) especially if you can't find anywhere right away, is a nanny.  I have other friends who have done that and love theirs.  Good luck!

Quoting Jadegirl1819:

Obviously they aren't a very good place.  If she was throwing herself on the floor screaming/crying they should have called you and not waited until you called. Were they going to let her do that until you picked her up? 

I bet you can find a much better place than that.


LMenkes
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:52 AM
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I've never Personally had good luck with mom and pop daycares. My daughter that started around the same ago has ALWAYS done better in a structured preschool. The mom and pop ones that I have delt with ( mind I know lots of people have found great ones and I am only speaking of MY experiance) don't have the schooling or professional experiance to handle some kids. Expecially kiddo's that need more time as they can't simply call in an extra teacher to give them a hand.

noahmommie2012
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:04 AM
1 mom liked this
my sister didnt put her kids in preschool til they was 4 years old.i would say dont push it. she be ready for it when she ready. to me 2 year old is young to get into preschool. Try daycare for one day and see how she acts. daycare have rooms for kids her age so she might play with them.
LoreleiSieja
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:32 AM
3 moms liked this

She will probably still cry when you drop her off.  This is normal.  How you react though will determine how long she cries.  This time, she was very upset, but you went and got her and brought her home, and that is exactly what she wanted.  Now when you take her to a better place, she may cry just because it worked before, and she will be very upset if you don't follow through and take her home.  I'm not saying that what you did was wrong!  No- she was very upset, and it was not the right place for her.  Just be aware that she will cry at the new place as well.  Still, she will adjust, if you find a good day care facility.

How can you tell?

When you check them out, observe the other children in her age group.  Are they playing?  Are they crying?  Are there enough toys to go around?  How are the teachers?  Do they pay attention, and help keep the children involved? Or do they chit-chat to each other, and only respond when a fight breaks out?  Good teachers will distract two-year-olds before a fight happens.  

What is the feeling in the day care?  Is it stressful?  Are the other children in other age groups relaxed and basically contented?  Or do you hear a lot of crying and shouting?  Day cares are NOISY places!  But the sounds should be happy sounds.  

Is the day care colorful, but not overwhelmingly so?  There should be bright, bold colors, but not every square inch of surface glaring and plastered.  You want a bright, happy environment, not something that is over-stimulating.  

Are the toys clean and in good condition?  

Are children's art work displayed in the hallways?  

The first day, like before, when you bring your child, sit in the classroom with her.  Get down on the floor and help her do a puzzle or color a picture.  SIt there for at least 20 minutes, then take her home.  If the center won't let you do this, then you don't want to take your child there.  The second day, control your own emotions.  You need to let her see that this is fun, this is happy, and you are not scared.  If you can't do that, she will pick up on your feelings and be stressed before you ever drop her off.

You are not a terrible mother!  And she will not remember how upset she was that first day.  She will get over it and forget. You are doing the best you can, at the time.  Don't beat yourself up.  

la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:31 PM

 Bump

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