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Father in law calls my 1 year olds clothes "sexy" right to her.

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I get so disgusted when my Father in law telsl my daughter "Oh you've got some sexy shoes on" or "Oh look at you in your sexy shirt. She's one. I keep telling my husband to say something but I'm fed up. I'm not comfortable with that or his insistance on changing her and saying she doesn't need clothes on and should run a round nude for a little bit everyday. When I try to rock her to sleep and shes just still, and her eyes are getting heavy he'll just grab and paw at her and say "you stinker. You're not sleepy". No matter how long the visit whie he's talking he'll just stare at me holding her longingly. Anytime I have her he's hovering going "here I got her. You go, I got her. His wife will make him dinner and he gets angry with her.. "damnit, I'm holding baby. Can't you see that?! I'm not hungry". Then when he's holding her he'll sit there and tell me what she likes, and finds funny, and things she doesn't like. When she was newborn he tried showing me how to correctly breastfeed. I'm so grossed out by this man. His wife works at a daycare and he goes there on his lunchbreak and plays with all the babies. I need a hula hoop rule with man that cusses like a sailor btw. He needs to relax, fo-real because I'm about to rip my hair out or ban him from ever babysitting. I just can't trust a man that will refer to baby girl as sexy. Am I over reacting?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:16 PM
Replies (111-120):
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Perhaps you SHOULD read posts on their entirety before commenting. Her FIL does a lot of other inappropriate things, and taken on context, calling her 1yo DD sexy is extremely inappropriate.

Quoting LaceNBklyn:

Sorry I didn't read past the first 3 lines because I call my son sexy all the time. When he does his hair I tell him his hair is sexy. When he takes a bath I tell him he smells sexy everything is sexy. And i mean NOTHING by it so maybe he doesn't either.

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:17 PM
It could just be that I was sexually abused in the past, but I find everything he says and does to be completely inappropriate and disgusting. Personally, I'd refuse him access to her until she's old enough to talk and let me know if he's done something to her.
But I could be overreacting.
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by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:18 PM
2 moms liked this
I think this is a great idea, however I would bring the counselor in under the pretense of being a "friend from out of town" or something similar to explain their presence. If FIL is aware that he is being observed, he will likely change his behavior.

Quoting KartofflMuter:

 Call in a family counselor and let him/her observe and comment. Tell them you really think something is wrong with your family dynamic and you aren't going to be bullied 3 to 1. And stop feeding your child hot dogs. That is terrible food,easy to choke on and doesn't prove to MIL that you know best.

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Certianly, something must've been misread. I have no sister in laws and my daughter is the only granddaughter. Corrections aside, I completely agree. I have my mama bear instinct but nothing extreme. My newborn had to be with me at all times, 6 months I'd go for a walk while she hung out with the In Laws. They were fully expecting her not to take naps during their 6-10 hour visits, or that I might need to feed her. That I shrugged off as over-eager grandparents. No big deal.  But recently it's been weird. Now that she's a more entertaining child I suppose. They want me to let her take baths with the 4 kids she watches. (ages 4-8) She gets them all in their undies and plays with the tub in them. She's obsessed with bathing my LO and constantly aks if she likes being Nakey. I think intentions are good, but it's extremely unusual. I won't tell them what to do. But I'll certainly have to tell them what NOT to do. Freakin' weirdos. *sigh animosity. Whatever. I'll get over but! But so far, Only my mom will watch her until she learns to talk.

Quoting LoveMyBrennen:

I'm confused. In one reply, you said that your DD is the first grand baby, and then in a later post, you talk about your SIL's older daughter being the grandmother's favorite?

Confusion aside, I've seen this type of behavior many times. It is "usually" just a cultural/upbringing thing. By this I mean that I'm almost sure that no one in their family sees anything out of the norm in their behavior - it seems to be just how that family talks and acts. This is evidenced by your husband's reluctance to discuss your concerns with his parents, and by the fact that your SIL says the same types of things. That being said, this situation would fall in the "better safe than sorry" category for me. While in all likelihood, their behavior is.benign, there is always that possibility that he/they do have other motives. The fact that it makes you uncomfortable is enough to warrant correction by you. I agree with the others that you should trust your instincts. Good luck, mami, and stick to your guns for your daughter's sake!

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:49 AM

Nope. Creeper.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:03 AM

i personaly imediately ban anyone that gives off even the slightest creepy twards children vibe from my life and my sons life. no exceptions, at all, ever. i wouldnt go anywhere near him.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:24 AM
He is trash. It is that simple.
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:28 AM
Keep that sicko away from your baby.
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:30 AM
Keep that sicko away from your baby. Reading
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:36 PM

Lying is your first thought? I don't think a legitimate couselor would go with that-no matter what the Hallmark channel says.

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