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Father in law calls my 1 year olds clothes "sexy" right to her.

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I get so disgusted when my Father in law telsl my daughter "Oh you've got some sexy shoes on" or "Oh look at you in your sexy shirt. She's one. I keep telling my husband to say something but I'm fed up. I'm not comfortable with that or his insistance on changing her and saying she doesn't need clothes on and should run a round nude for a little bit everyday. When I try to rock her to sleep and shes just still, and her eyes are getting heavy he'll just grab and paw at her and say "you stinker. You're not sleepy". No matter how long the visit whie he's talking he'll just stare at me holding her longingly. Anytime I have her he's hovering going "here I got her. You go, I got her. His wife will make him dinner and he gets angry with her.. "damnit, I'm holding baby. Can't you see that?! I'm not hungry". Then when he's holding her he'll sit there and tell me what she likes, and finds funny, and things she doesn't like. When she was newborn he tried showing me how to correctly breastfeed. I'm so grossed out by this man. His wife works at a daycare and he goes there on his lunchbreak and plays with all the babies. I need a hula hoop rule with man that cusses like a sailor btw. He needs to relax, fo-real because I'm about to rip my hair out or ban him from ever babysitting. I just can't trust a man that will refer to baby girl as sexy. Am I over reacting?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:16 PM
Replies (41-50):
kbeeck
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:39 AM

I would say your not reacting. That sounds weird and I assume your husband is probably wierded out about it too, that's probably why he hasn't said anything. That would put a person in a tough situation with a parent. I take it your husband doesn't have sisters. If it was my dad I wouldn's know what to say either.

andreasmom02
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:42 AM

Creepy! Keep your baby away from him!

LeetjieJ
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Some men are real softies with kids, but this sounds excessive to me.Little red flags popping up all over the place!

I would insist that my husband talk to him & make very clear how uncomfortable you are with his comments and behaviour - they are inappropriate. If he won't and you don't feel comfortable talking directly to him, write a letter or e-mail stating very clearly your concerns and how you would like things to be in the future (keep a copy!) How does MIL feel, could she help you out talking to him?

Lorissa11
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:46 AM

I wouldn't have let him around her in the first place.

wifeynmommie80
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:47 AM

Ok that is uber creepy. And no you're not overreacting. You definitely need to start setting some boundaries. Make some ultimatums. This would actually make me not want to let my children go to their home or be 100 feet near them unsupervised ...ever

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:58 AM
Creepy
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Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Eewww. Creepy!
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mrs.pina
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM
He sounds like a f**k*n perv!
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ceciliam
by Cecilia on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:13 AM

WOW! That's a whole lot of weird!

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:17 AM

The next time he uses the word, hand him a page printed right off the dictionary with the definition highlighted, and tell him you don't think it is appropriate.

"Sexy" is becoming just another word, but the connotations are still there.  I don't think he realizes what he is implying with his word choice, so put it blunt.  Then ask him to find a new word.

As for the rest, just stand up for yourself in a firm but polite way.  Pick your battles, but don't be afraid to say enough is enough.

sex·y

  [sek-see]  Show IPA
adjective, sex·i·er, sex·i·est.
1.
concerned predominantly or excessively with sexrisqué: a sexy novel.
2.
sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality: the sexiest professor on campus.
3.
excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car.
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