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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

are husbands suppose to be your bff?

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:27 PM
  • 42 Replies

I have heard people say about thier husband,boyfriend ,girlfriend whatever,that they are thier best friend.i was wondring if there is something wrong with me and my husbands marriage becuse we dont look that way to echathier?we have some problems right now and im wondering if that matters?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SMTCMMoore
by Melissa on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:34 PM
He's my best friend, I'm sorry you're having trouble.
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Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:34 PM

My husband is my best friend, and was before we were married. Before we married we discovered a lot of interests in common, similar beliefs about family and children, finances. We enjoyed talking and could talk for hours. He was someone I could rely on when I was blue or needed advice or a favor. So in these respects he was and is my best friend, although I do have a female friend who is also my best friend forever. But we discuss girly things, which my husband and I don't. So it depends on what you want from a bff.  Mutual respect, kindness, thoughtfulness....

mitchiesgirl
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:38 PM
2 moms liked this
Rule of (my) thumb: I don't compare my relationship to others so no I don't think it's weird. Just because you are having problems doesn't mean he isn't your best friend and in your relationship maybe that's not what you want. Do you want to look at him as a best friend? I am sorry you are going through some tough times. (((hugs)))
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catngabsmom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:42 PM
My husband isn't my best friend, but he is a friend like no other! My group of girlfriends are my biffles!!
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stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:44 PM

I would say the reason people say that is because a best friend is someone you can talk to about pretty much anything, you have good communication and that is very important in any relationship. Me and my boyfriend were good friends before we started dating (and of course still are in the sense we can really talk to each other) and in a more serious relationship it is extremely important to be able to really talk to the person you are with. Do you and your husband communicate well? I'm sorry you are having problems. If you have open communication it can fix a lot of problems or at least help them along to being settled. Me and my boyfriend have long talks when either of us senses an issue going on (me not cleaning enough, us not getting enough time together, me feeling he doesn't care enough or whatever) So any problem you have make sure you talk to him about it and it can help.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:49 PM

He isnt my best friend but you need to be able to like the person you are with before you love them and commit yourself to be their partner for life.

butterflycircle
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:53 PM

My husband is my best friend. We tell each other everything and don't hide or keep secrets (other than like what we got each other for christmas). We talk about important and not important things (kids, bills, work, school, our daily life). He is the most important person to me in the world (aside from our children). 

I don't think that a husband and a wife have to be best for it to work. Also I do think you can have more than one best friend. I can see how a husband and a friend can both be your best friends only they are different relationships one is purely a friendship and the other is your life partner who you have committed sharing your life with and love unconditionally. In the end idk how a husband and a wife could not be some sort of best friend. That is just me though. 

I can see how women could have like a girlfriend that would be the best friend over the husband. I think that the husband/wife relationship should come first though. I think that it is a matter of being able to be yourself and having very open honest communication.

LucyHarper
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:54 PM

My husband is my bff, but I don't think it has to be like that in every marriage in order for it to be successful.

luvemboth
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:00 PM
It depends on how you view that title. I didn't view dh as my best friend. The friend I've always called my BFF kept that title after I got married. BUT dh comes before anybody. He and our marriage are my top priorities. I prefer to hang out with him above anyone else and I believe that's how it should be. Whatever title you give him isn't as important.
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aurora.dove
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:11 PM

No I have a best friend, she's been there for me since I was 5 years old. Through thick and thin, no matter what we have always stuck together. She is and will ALWAYS be my best friend. My SO will just have to deal with it :)

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