Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

She's asking for donations and getting upset that some people just can't afford it...

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:10 AM
  • 3 Replies

Background:
   
My cousin and her son are in the hospital with RSV. Her son was born premature and has had complications since birth. They tried to take him off the breathing machine last night, but it didn't work.

Anyway, my aunt (my cousin's mother) has been seeking donations via Facebook. Apparently very few people have come forward to help (with gas, food, whatnot) and my aunt is pissed.

I told her that some people can only afford to send prayers and/or hopeful thoughts, including myself, and she got even more pissed. I know monetary donations are what she wants and not just prayers, but still. Some people really can't afford it. There are churches and other non-religious organizations out there that can help with food and other things, which I brought up to my aunt. She said there is no reason that her daughter should have to beg from strangers! Really? Strangers help people all the time, sometimes more than one's own family. What is wrong with them asking for help from organizations that are meant to help people?

I know that only a few people have donated to her so far, which is why I brought up outside help, but why be hostile over it? Am I wrong to think that the outside help could be beneficial? I already feel guilty that I can't help my cousin, but she's not the only one in my family that's struggling, nor the only one in the hospital. It hurts my heart to think of her kiddo on the breathing machine, but there is only so much some people can do.

Sorry... This is more of a vent than anything...

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:10 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
LeetjieJ
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:24 AM

I think she is probably too upset and worried to be thinking entirely logically. Of course, if family and friends cannot help, other avenues will have to be explored, but that is a realisation that she will have to reach on her own.

In the mean time, do not feel guilty; times are tight and there is no shame in not being able to contribute materially. Is there anything else you can do to offer support - cook a meal or two for the freezer, offer to look after other children to free them up to do other things, sit with them at the hospital to lend moral support?

I'm sure when she is more rational, your aunt will come to appreciate all the support you were able to give her and your cousin.

gypsy30
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 I think there are a lot of people struggling today just to make ends meet.  She should hardly be hostile that people can't help.  I'm sure she's upset about the baby, but if people are strapped financially, they just can't help.

jean_marie1987
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:31 AM

 I wish I could donate some food or cook a meal, but she lives three states away. I'm sure my aunt is emotional right now, but she has never believed in "strangers" helping. It just drives me a little crazy that the outside help that is there for those purposes are looked down upon so badly by them.

Quoting LeetjieJ:

I think she is probably too upset and worried to be thinking entirely logically. Of course, if family and friends cannot help, other avenues will have to be explored, but that is a realisation that she will have to reach on her own.

In the mean time, do not feel guilty; times are tight and there is no shame in not being able to contribute materially. Is there anything else you can do to offer support - cook a meal or two for the freezer, offer to look after other children to free them up to do other things, sit with them at the hospital to lend moral support?

I'm sure when she is more rational, your aunt will come to appreciate all the support you were able to give her and your cousin.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)