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baby shower?

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:46 PM
  • 16 Replies

Hi. My ds is 2 yrs. old now but this was a past issue. I have gotten over it. But, I really am curious to know real opinions. When I was preg. with my ds, I thought that I would get a baby shower but I didn't. My mom and sisters wanted to throw me one and asked me, but I do have a sil and I thought she would do one for me. My sil lives in another state, but by traveling with a plane it takes almost 2 hours, It really isnt too far from me. But, I told my mom, that she didnt have to do it for me, cause I was guessing my own sil would do one, since she is part of the family I'm married too. I guessed it was more proper for someone from my new family would throw a baby shower for me. So, as time passed she didnt ever even ask me or mention it on the phone, because we do talk on the phone sometimes. I felt kinda rejected. I gave it time, and as the delivery time drew near I still didnt get one. I was disappointed a little bit. I ended up not having a baby shower and another thing is that I never confronted her. Was this my fault? I don't think it really was, I was the pregnant woman just wondering and waiting. But one thing my sil did do is after my baby was 1 month old she flew here, and stayed with me for a week and helped me out at my home and withe baby. I'm sure my mom and sisters felt bad for me, but I still got many baby gifts after my delivery from everyone.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:04 PM

  You shouldn't just assume people will throw you a shower. That was your mistake.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:11 PM
I am much more closer to my family. I only see my sils at holidays. So i would never expect either if them to throw me a party for anything. My Mom threw mine. I probably would've told my Mom to check with the other family members, in your position.
Some families do one on each side if the family, others combine them. I would feel bad like you do, but i would not have told my Mom not to throw one.
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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:14 PM

You should have taken your mom and sister up on the baby shower offer. It would be one thing if your SIL offered to throw you a shower and didn't follow through, but I don't think you have the right to be mad at her for not throwing you a shower. She lives two hours away from you, by plane. Jumping in your car and driving to the next town over is much easier than scheduling a trip that requires flying. I would much, much rather have my SIL fly in and help me for a week after the baby is born than to fly in and throw me a baby shower. Maybe I am the odd ball out, but I wouldn't expect anyone that is not within a 3 hour drive, family or not, to come to my baby shower let alone throw me one. My best friend's own sister did not come to her baby shower because she doesn't have anyone to watch her children during the day, and if she flew out her whole family for the baby shower, she wouldn't have been able to fly out her whole family when the baby was born. Traveling is expensive.

by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:23 PM


I understand that, but whats interestiong is that why wouldnt my sil, even mention it to me on the phone, at least she could of said I am unable to throw you one or even ask me about it. When she was pregnant I ask her if any of her sil that live near her would throw her one. She said that she isnt gonna want one, because none of her sil did either.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

  You shouldn't just assume people will throw you a shower. That was your mistake.


by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:44 PM

 I would never expect someone who lives far away from me to give me a baby shower.  I do understand though why you are disappointed you never got one.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:57 PM
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 I'm confused. Why would you think that just because you married into his family that they should be the ones throwing you the shower? Your Mom and sister offered, you should have taken them up on it. If someone was 2 hours away by plane, that's pretty far to me. It's not like she lives down the street.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:00 PM

Never assume that someone is going to throw you a party, she was not obligated to do so. Especially when they would have to take a two hour plane flight to get to you. I think you were being unreasonable.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Your ds is 2 yrs old. It's time to move on and let it go. Why are you obsessing over this now? It is much too late. You are causing yourself drama for nothing - sorry to say.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:44 PM
i didnt wnat one when i was prego but my sister who is my son god mom told me to shut up im having one if i like it or not. if you mom was going to throw u one u should of let her. and if sil says she was going to then u can sya my mom doing it. that not her fault that uaasume she was going to throw u one.
by Barb on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:10 PM

Nobody threw me one for my first child, either. Well he came early, so that could be why, but for the second baby someone did, and the presents were very helpful. Besides, it was a party, laughing and refreshments- what's not to like. :)

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