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venting...bummed

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:35 AM
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I have a friend who is on her 3rd pregnancy and this week she found out the sex of her baby. well she called me to tell me about it and how her doc appo went, well during the conversation she brought up that she heard from her husband (her husband and mine are brothers) that we have talked about having another baby. my husband and i have talked about it off and on over the past 4 yrs or so but haven't followed thru more so because of me and my worrying about having another baby. i was telling her that if i were to turn up pregnant at all in the future that i would need someone that i could turn too in my time of need, someone to call if my anxiety starts to get the better of me and so on. well i was a little bummed when i didn't get the response from her of "girl you know i will be there for you if you decide to have another baby" i got an "okay" and the subject was changed. is it weird that this is bothering me? 

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:35 AM
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Platinum_Mommy
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:36 AM

No it's not weird at all! And I'm sure she WILL be there for you even if she hasn't verbalized it :) But if it is REALLY bothering you, why don't you just talk to her about it?

hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:07 AM
No one wants to commit to help.

I mean when my SIL were on speaking terms, I'd call for help. I'd almost be in tears from the crying asking for help.
Do you know what she always said? Well, if you need me, just call. I'd sit there with tears and snot thinking " what the hell? I AM calling you at this very minute saying I need you!"

Your nuclear family are about the only ones who will help without pay. My dad stayed with me during the day for two weeks and tried to help... My husband had started a new job literally four days before I gave birth. So - asking for more than the day of birth and the next was all he could do. ( they knew I was pregnant at the interview)

If your mother is available, she's your best bet. If not, look for a mother's helper if you decide to ttc. Do not count on future SIL 's or actual sil's
A best friend, YOUR parent(s) or a hired mother's helper. An " okay" should be expected from someone whose already pregnant, but help you will not get as she had her own "brood" to care for. Sorry, but it's the truth.
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yroder2003
by Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:29 PM

thanks for the replies. i know she has her own kids to worry about, i don't want her to be at my beckon need, it was just her response, that's all. i do have my sister that was there for me during my first pregnancy to guide me thru it all cause i knew nothing at the time lol, and i know she will be there for me again if i'm meant to have another child one day. it was just one of those days yesterday.

amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I think how you felt was totally normal.  Maybe she just didn't know what else to say though.

Quoting yroder2003:

I have a friend who is on her 3rd pregnancy and this week she found out the sex of her baby. well she called me to tell me about it and how her doc appo went, well during the conversation she brought up that she heard from her husband (her husband and mine are brothers) that we have talked about having another baby. my husband and i have talked about it off and on over the past 4 yrs or so but haven't followed thru more so because of me and my worrying about having another baby. i was telling her that if i were to turn up pregnant at all in the future that i would need someone that i could turn too in my time of need, someone to call if my anxiety starts to get the better of me and so on. well i was a little bummed when i didn't get the response from her of "girl you know i will be there for you if you decide to have another baby" i got an "okay" and the subject was changed. is it weird that this is bothering me? 



bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this

 It's not weird - it would've bothered me, too. BUT, she may just not have known what else to say at the time. I wouldn't worry about it too much. When the day comes when you are pregnant I'm sure she'll be there for you. :)



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