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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

My boyfriend is pressuring me to have an abortion.

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Hi. I'm 18 years old and currently 6 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been struggling ever since we found out about a week ago. My family has always been pro-life; that's how I was raised. Even before I got pregnant, I knew that abortion would never be an option for me. My boyfriend completely disagrees, and feels that I am a very selfish person for wanting to keep this child. He says that it is unfair to bring a child into this world when we are not ready to be parents and raise a child. I agree that it is bad timing, and that our situation is not the ideal way to bring a child into this world. My family has been extremely supportive, offering financial support for us (if need be), until we can do it on our own. My boyfriend and I are both working full time and planning on moving out before the baby arrives. My boyfriend says he supports any decision that I make, however, as soon as I told him my decision to keep the baby, he got extremely defensive. I've been called selfish and immature, and there's been extreme tension between us ever since. Ive done everything in my power to be understanding of his feelings, and I've been there for him, but he still thinks I'm making this "all about me". I guess I'm just looking for some support from anyone that might be going through or has been through the same thing. I don't know what to do at this point, I'm trying to stay true to myself but it's hard, especially with the person I love against me, at a time when we need each other the most. Thanks for reading. 

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Replies (71-80):
Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:36 PM

It is OK to change your mind about this guy. He doesn't seem to care about you, and if he is calling you such names, you may want to rethink your relationship.

lilmommy10805
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:08 AM

Don't ever get an abortion stay true! He is absoluetly selfish asking that out of you. He's acting like a child if didn't want a child he shouldn't had sex. Please don't have one you never know if this pregnancy is your chance at having a child and being a mother. Abortions can also carry a lot of risk. 


Tranla
by Elisabeth on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:33 AM
Don't give into the pressure. If having this baby is truly what you want to do, then you should follow through. And you need to rethink your relationship with someone that won't support your choice here.
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maggie13
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:03 AM

If you believe that it is a human being/your child, than you must protect it from harm even before your child comes into this world. Yes, even from the baby's own father. This is not a form of love. I agree with other posters and it is time you protect the baby and yourself. You want to do it on your own, well, that is good but for both of you right now, you might need a helping hand. Do not look at it as you against the world and being totally grown up because later on in life you will notice that we all need a helping hand plus it is nothing shameful about it.

Take care of the precious life and yourself.......the two most important things right now in your life and forever.

meowsrus
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:19 AM
My family has always been very pro-choice. That being said, my mother was 17 and unmarried when she got pregnant with my brother and her family stood behind her and her decision. Unfortunately she married the asshole and he was very abusive to all of us because SHE didn't choose what HE wanted. He was (& still is) a selfish prick.

You have your family, he needs to either stand behind what he originally said to you or back the hell off.

If he is being so immature now he might not change, or when he gets over his emotional tantrum he might be a great dad. But for now I would give a bit of distance to him if all he is going to be is immature, selfish, and cruel. You don't need that in your life.

Stand by your decision it was, is, and always will be YOURS to make, not his.

Hugs, not easy, but you can do this. If you need someone to talk with, let me know.
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Wantingtoadopt2
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:49 PM

I urge you to consider adoption. There are so many people who long to have a child and they are not able to have one.

Beau_Monde
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:57 PM

It is difficult.  But raising a child is not impossible. 

aj_mom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:16 PM

You have to do what is right for you. I am pro-life as well. It sounds like you have family support, I don't think you are being "selfish" or "immature".

bless4more
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:54 PM

To me it sounds like he is the selfish and immature one not wanting to take resposibility for his actions.  Keep that baby and give him or her all the love you have.

chelsone
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:57 PM
My boyfriend said he didnt think he could do this again right now when we found out. He wanted me to keep adoption open. I said no. But then the idea grew on him and he loves our son very much. I told him i was keeping the baby and he could either be supportive or i was leaving. He got excited before i did. I was too worried about everything i would do wrong.
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