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I could use some help!

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:26 AM
  • 12 Replies

Ok my dd is almost two and is throwing tantrums she throws herself on the floor or whatever is around! What worked best for you? I tried to ignore it but I'm scared she will hurt herself so I end up picking her up and doing everything I can to soothe her but she will be going to day care in three months how do I  correct her? ( I don't spank) 

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:26 AM
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Mommytoaangel
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:32 AM
Time outs for the age of the child thats how long the sit there choose a step or a certain area an keep that for time outs did it with my god son good luck
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ferne3
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:38 AM

Do you know why is she having tantrums?  For our DD it was because she was unable to communicate.  I got some tips from the book 'happiest toddler on the block' which was recommended by another mommy.  Some of it didn't work, but figuring out the reason for the tantrums was key.  Often she was hungry and then would make herself so upset that she refused anything to satiate hunger.  Other times, she was upset because we were rushing her (out the door, to stop playing for dinner, etc) so getting down to her level, looking her in the eyes and acknowledging her feelings helped.  Best for us was just slowing down to her speed.  The book has a lot more ideas, some of it worked great - others I felt ridiculous (some of the baby talk stuff) and chose not to do.  I would say that if you pick her up, you may be causing more problems.  If you worry about her hurting herself, you can move her to a safer location, but once she gets to that state, it is best to let her work it out.  Even when we figured out she was hungry, if we tried to stop the tantrum it just prolonged it and some kids just go through this phase.  For those, if you comfort tantrums they could start in public places, and it could start to be something done just for attention.  Tantrums are tought but EVERY kid goes through them.  You are not alone.  Good luck!

Brittanyo
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:43 AM


Thank you! I will have to read that book.

Quoting ferne3:

Do you know why is she having tantrums?  For our DD it was because she was unable to communicate.  I got some tips from the book 'happiest toddler on the block' which was recommended by another mommy.  Some of it didn't work, but figuring out the reason for the tantrums was key.  Often she was hungry and then would make herself so upset that she refused anything to satiate hunger.  Other times, she was upset because we were rushing her (out the door, to stop playing for dinner, etc) so getting down to her level, looking her in the eyes and acknowledging her feelings helped.  Best for us was just slowing down to her speed.  The book has a lot more ideas, some of it worked great - others I felt ridiculous (some of the baby talk stuff) and chose not to do.  I would say that if you pick her up, you may be causing more problems.  If you worry about her hurting herself, you can move her to a safer location, but once she gets to that state, it is best to let her work it out.  Even when we figured out she was hungry, if we tried to stop the tantrum it just prolonged it and some kids just go through this phase.  For those, if you comfort tantrums they could start in public places, and it could start to be something done just for attention.  Tantrums are tought but EVERY kid goes through them.  You are not alone.  Good luck!



zetajen
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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the tantrums are normal toddler behavior. but what to do about it depends on the child and you just have to try a few things. Some kids will do better being held, rocked, or soothed. Some just need to get it out. Just so you know, she will throw herself to the ground at least once and bonk her head. Hopefully she learns from that first time and doesn't need to repeat the mistake.

I would take a week or less and try different things. decide what is best for her. There is no magic cure, but one way may end the tantrum faster, make it less dramatic, etc. one way may make it worse. (If i tried to hold my son during a tantrum, it was way worse) pick your plan of dealing with tantrums and stick with it forever. the consistency you give to the child (in rules, schedule, and dealing with tantrums) is what makes tantrums fewer, shorter and less dramatic.

She will throw tantrums at daycare. they are child care professionals. they expect it and know how to deal with it. don't worry about daycare. Also, she will likely have fewer tantrums at daycare because the really bad behaviour, kids save for the people they are most comfortable around, which should be you. This is why they stay with grandma and were little angels and then do something terrible 15 minutes after you pick them up. :) see it as love and bonding between you and child and it makes it easier to handle.

Brittanyo
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:57 AM


Thank you I feel a little better I felt like I already failed parenting by her throwing tantrums this bad and I know all it takes to stop is if I soothe her but her dad says I'm not helping her by doing that just making it worse so idk I hate to see my dd cry :( 

Quoting zetajen:

the tantrums are normal toddler behavior. but what to do about it depends on the child and you just have to try a few things. Some kids will do better being held, rocked, or soothed. Some just need to get it out. Just so you know, she will throw herself to the ground at least once and bonk her head. Hopefully she learns from that first time and doesn't need to repeat the mistake.

I would take a week or less and try different things. decide what is best for her. There is no magic cure, but one way may end the tantrum faster, make it less dramatic, etc. one way may make it worse. (If i tried to hold my son during a tantrum, it was way worse) pick your plan of dealing with tantrums and stick with it forever. the consistency you give to the child (in rules, schedule, and dealing with tantrums) is what makes tantrums fewer, shorter and less dramatic.

She will throw tantrums at daycare. they are child care professionals. they expect it and know how to deal with it. don't worry about daycare. Also, she will likely have fewer tantrums at daycare because the really bad behaviour, kids save for the people they are most comfortable around, which should be you. This is why they stay with grandma and were little angels and then do something terrible 15 minutes after you pick them up. :) see it as love and bonding between you and child and it makes it easier to handle.



la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:04 PM

 Time-outs. Finding out what causes the tantrums. My son used to have one because he was overly tired. So when I saw him getting upset, I would take him somewhere to calm down, lie down with him, etc. Or some tantrums just need no response.

LindaClement
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:09 PM

It's generally simpler to figure out what's causing them (it's often really basic stuff: food, drink, overstimulated, in need of hugs and attention) than to 'fix' them once they're happening.

Some kids really need to be held, and quiet down quickly. Some can't be touched because that just adds to their already-super-sensitive body. 

You can't know which without finding out.

Try really hard to figure out what parts of her day are not 'child-friendly' and minimize them as much as possible.

whoodathunk
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:19 PM

At that age, I used to send my daughter to her room and tell her she could come back when her behavior was acceptable.   She'd usually act like that when overtired and would fall asleep.  When she comes back, have her apologize and tell you why.  I found that timeouts didn't work for tantrums, but you can try that first if it's easier.

tlcory
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:21 PM

Start laughing at her and you copy her, show her how silly it looks. This always worked with my kids, they are grown now but laugh about it and admit it always made them feel silly that's why they would stop.  

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:10 PM

Hi Brittanyo.  Welcome to the group.  :)  

 Have you tried putting her in a seat and giving her short time outs?  What are some ways that you have tried and found they don't work? Do you know why she is acting out in this way?  I know its tough to watch but sometimes you just have to, always making sure they are not trying to harm themselves in the process.  everything you do at this point is going to be trial and error. Once you find what works, be consistant when using it.  Stay calm and constanly on level emotionally. The more dramatic reaction you have in response, the more your daughter will react in like manner.  Not easy, that's for sure.  Good Luck to you.  :)

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