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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

getting my 5 year old to clean her room when she fights me every step of the way

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:40 PM
  • 18 Replies

Hi I am new at this, my name is Amy. I have two kids a 5 year olds and a 4 in a half month old. my 5 year old fights me EVERy step of the way. Her dad and i are not together abut share joint coustody. She had his temper and will yell, hit ect... i had to take her radieo out of her room thinking that might get her to clean it but that back fired on me. I need help before i lose my mind with her. :)

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
doulala
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:42 PM
1 mom liked this

You can group things together on the floor (doll clothes in one pile, blocks in another pile, etc) and then her job can be just one of these at a time.       And you will do it with her (most of the work is yours by the end, probably).

You can sing a song to help associate and keep on track, that can help, too.

;-)

GL!

jillbailey26
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:42 PM

Put her in the room and say "You don't leave this room until it's clean" and walk out.  She can yell, scream and do whatever she wants, but she doesn't leave the room until it's done.  Potty breaks and lunch/dinner are the only allowable reasons.  If she doesn't do it, it continues the next day.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

amysuee
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:44 PM

thanks girls, Jill, i have tried that and than go to check on her she still has not done anything, she plays and makes a bigger mess, she is a handful. lol


doulala
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:45 PM


Quoting jillbailey26:

Put her in the room and say "You don't leave this room until it's clean" and walk out.  She can yell, scream and do whatever she wants, but she doesn't leave the room until it's done.  Potty breaks and lunch/dinner are the only allowable reasons.  If she doesn't do it, it continues the next day.

No offense, but I don't agree to create so much negativity with it.
  (If we have positive associations and know we have help then we want to do our work, it's fun.)

;-)

doulala
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:46 PM


Quoting amysuee:

thanks girls, Jill, i have tried that and than go to check on her she still has not done anything, she plays and makes a bigger mess, she is a handful. lol


That is normal.
You can turn things around to make it more fun--  or at least together time.    

;-)

-PB
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:46 PM

 I would continue to take things away if she refuses to clean her room or scream and hit until there is nothing in her room but the mattress and make her earn each item back.  If she does clean her room be sure to give her lots of praise and thanks too.

bellawomen
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Unless you have been teaching her all along to clean, putting all of it on her at once will definitely create a fight. Instead, over time help her less and less and give her more tasks. You need to address the hitting straight away. If she hits, you stop helping.

Our rule has always been, a clean room before bed. Anything left out I keep for 1 week. The second time I donate it. Sounds harsh, but I mean business and since its our routine its only happened twice in 9 years. If his room isn't clean, he doesn't get any extras in the house like electronics including TV, outside time, etc. A dirty room is a fire hazard and I won't have it.
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bellawomen
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:51 PM
My son does that too. Its about learning personal responsibility. Let her be, but when she asks if she can say watch TV, play with friends, something fun ask her if her room is done. She will get mad. She will throw a fit. Stick to your guns. Discipline any physical aggression and verbal disrespect, but other than that ignore her comments. Don't give in. She will clean to earn back her fun items.

Quoting amysuee:

thanks girls, Jill, i have tried that and than go to check on her she still has not done anything, she plays and makes a bigger mess, she is a handful. lol


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jillbailey26
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:57 PM


Quoting doulala:


Quoting jillbailey26:

Put her in the room and say "You don't leave this room until it's clean" and walk out.  She can yell, scream and do whatever she wants, but she doesn't leave the room until it's done.  Potty breaks and lunch/dinner are the only allowable reasons.  If she doesn't do it, it continues the next day.

No offense, but I don't agree to create so much negativity with it.
  (If we have positive associations and know we have help then we want to do our work, it's fun.)

;-)

Well, yelling and hitting doesn't get a positive reaction out of me.  It doesn't have to be mean, just matter of fact.  She can say it as 'this is the way it is' and leave it at that.  I did this with my boys (at 4 & 5) and it worked.  Now they're 8 & 9 and as soon as I ask them to clean their room, they do it.  No questions, to yelling, no griping, nothing.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

jillbailey26
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:58 PM


Quoting amysuee:

thanks girls, Jill, i have tried that and than go to check on her she still has not done anything, she plays and makes a bigger mess, she is a handful. lol


That's okay too.  I allowed them to play.  They just knew they couldn't leave the room until it was done.  They got it done at their own pace, but in the end, they got it done.  Then each time they had to do it, the playing got shorter and shorter because they knew I was serious.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

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