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is this normal?

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:27 PM
  • 12 Replies

I'm having an arguement with my husband and want to find out if he's right.  I've been living with my parents since september, and only have a month and a half left til i join my husband in texas, My mom doesn't spend a lot of time with my kids she usually just passes through the house going to the basement or her room.  when my kids want to talk or play with her its around 5 min then she gives them candy or something else so she can leave. I say it's normal for a grandma to be like this when grandkids live with them, and my husband says it's not. Is it normal?

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
offrdngal
by Terri on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:39 PM
When you were your childrens' ages, did your mother treat you much different? If not, then it is normal behavior, for her.
If not, then keep in mind that she raised her child(ren),maybe she just doesn't want to deal wirh them, since she isn't the parent.
Does ever spend any time with them? Have you talked to the kids to see how they feel.about it.
Your husband needs to remember that what is "normal" to one person, may be "abnormal", to another person.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:34 PM

I would definitely think about what was "normal"for me growing up as her being the mother and talking to her about spending a little time with them in some kind of playing around.

britmichele
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:45 PM
It was normal in my experience. My mom acts annoyed by my son
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starr377
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:46 PM

 has she been doing this since you moved in with the kids? i could see her doing this only if she were overwhelmed by them, making alot of noise all the time or having to step in as a parent. but if you've kept your roles as parent and grandparent then i can't see why she wouldn't want to enjoy their company a little more and play with them. especially since you'll be moving soon. i don't think it's normal at all.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:48 PM

It wouldn't be normal in our family. I lived with my G'ma and Aunt when my DH was deployed and they took advantage of the fact that they are there and spend a lot of time with them. My MIL would do the same if we lived with them.

I would think she would want to spend as much time as she can with them since you are moving.

rHOPEb
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:37 PM

If that's her normal behavior then YES it is for her.  ALL grandparents are different.  Some do not like the 'baby' stage and some don't like the 'toddler' stage and some don't like the 'teen' stage and then some LOVE it all.  hahahaha!  You should be thankful that your kids will have loving memories of their grandma..........

storkradio193
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:16 PM

It depends on the family.  It would probably be normal (i.e. expected) with my mother after a short while, but not with my MIL, who would play with them and interact much more.

http://www.cafemom.com/home/storkradio193

stargaze281
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:01 PM

I think that some grandparaents of our children are distant and some are affectionate.

elle3615
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:01 AM

my kids are 3 and 1, i lived with my grandma til i was 10 so i don't know how she was with me and my brother when we were younger. She is not like that with other kids.

elle3615
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:03 AM

she was like this before we moved in, when we would come to visit shw would say hi make an appearance and say she needed a cigarette then go to the basement.

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