There have been alot of changes in my daughters short life (she is 9) . Her father left. We had a roommate and her children for awhile and then they moved out. I went thru a funk and was working alot before, during and after those things happened. And recently I started dating. My boyfriend and her get along well even though she does have seperation and jealousy issues she is getting better.
Anyways, I have managed to get slack on things that I swore I never would be when I had kids (shocker..lol) and I am trying to find a way to get us all on track. Things with me and the BF are getting a little serious and we have talked of the what ifs of living together and somethings that we would like to see change a bit with my daughter. He understands that she has been thru alot and we both want to work together to get her to where we thing she should be ( I apologize if that sounds crass, Im just not sure how to word what I am thinking)
I have been really bad about letting her slack on things like helping me with the house, cleaning her room and such. She isnt the greatest at listening , has a tendancy to sometimes be a little lippy, and she is super clingy. (that one we understand because of the changes in the family dynamics) I want to start getting all of us on the same page, working together to make all of us more comfortable together and to make her more responsible for her actions.
I guess what I am asking is if anyone has any experience with this kind of stuff and/or has some insight as to what I can do, I would like to start an allowance kind of thing and I fear I may be to late. Please help me help her...
Please and thanks in advance
Never too late to establish a consistent routine and introduce money management to a child. If it is money for doing chores, it is chore money. To me an allowance is given with no strings attached. You also may want to try family counseling to help her process everything that has gone on and how to move forward with yet another big change in both yours and her life. If you dont already have them, set up house rules with her input and have consequences in place for when a rule is not followed.
It's not too late to establish good disipline, you have to decide what the rules are and insist she follow them, don't let her give you excuses! Establish a routine for snack, homework, chores after school before there are any electronics allowed. Kids actually LIKE to know what the rules are and what to expect, don't let her get away with any mouthiness, she can do a ten minute time out or lose a priveledge (like TV) after ONE warning, you will probably find her behavior improves rapidly. Personally I wouldn't be living with any man until she's grown and off to college. But, if you must, then you have the right idea getting on the same page about expectations. And I would try to enjoy that clinginess, it doesn't last!
One more little thing, when you give her an allowance at the same time open a savings account for her and INSIST that she save 20% of every dime anyone gives her or she earns, it's a great habit to get into. She can watch the balance grow and possibly buy a car when she's older, and she'll still have the savings habit.
When should I potty train her?
- tryingagain3000
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:11 AM