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The man who raped me is trying to get custody of my son....

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:44 AM
  • 37 Replies

To start this off I will give a little back story. When I was with DH I had been assaulted and conceived a child as the product of it. I knew my attacker and pursued and he was found not guilty because of some circumstantial evidence. My now ex DH stood by my side. Helped me through it all. Held my hand when I gave birth and even though divorced continues to take my son (He chooses to be his father) along with our mutual daughters for visits and so on. During the Divorce his Lawyer (pastors wife) filed a motion for paternity and of course he was not the Biological Father. However because I was on PA (bash if you like its not the issue) The state took it upon themselves to do paternity against my attacker. Because he had been found not guilty he has rights to my son. Now mind you this man is currently going to court for two more sexual assault charges to a minor. He wants custody of my son. his name changed. I want nothing to do with him not even child support and the courts nor my attorney will listen. Fyi I am sure he wont get custody however I dont want him to even have visitation. I don't know what to do. We are scheduled for a hearing today and because I am on bed-rest and 4 hours away I have to be present by phone. I am at a loss. I dont want him knowing where I live or any info that could put my family in harm. I dont want him to have a say in any form of raising him... My son is an amazing three year old. smiles and laughs is protective of his older sisters and even his unborn sister. He is one of the greatest gifts I could be given from such an ugly circumstance.... What do I do? I am lost and don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jean_marie1987
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:50 AM

 I don't know what to tell you. I thought he couldn't do anything if your husband at the time claimed him as his own... I don't understand why they'd do a paternity test if he didn't request one or if you didn't request one. If the kiddo was conceived and birthed during your marriage, then the kiddo is his if he claims him. The end. I thought.

Refurbished
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:02 AM

If he's currently going to court for sexually abusing a minor, how is he fighting you for custody?  Is he just saying that he wants to or has he actually filed custody paperwork?

I'm sorry you are going through this.  This must be very scary to have to face potential coparenting with this guy.

OneTiredMama86
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:02 AM


It had been that way till the divorce when my ex's lawyer filed a motion for paternity. So now he is off the birth certificate and because it had been documented that I was assaulted and the name given the state here was able to track down and do paternity on my attacker.... I wish it was as simple as it should be. All of this is a lot to handle.

Quoting jean_marie1987:

 I don't know what to tell you. I thought he couldn't do anything if your husband at the time claimed him as his own... I don't understand why they'd do a paternity test if he didn't request one or if you didn't request one. If the kiddo was conceived and birthed during your marriage, then the kiddo is his if he claims him. The end. I thought.



OneTiredMama86
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:05 AM


All paperwork had been started because I had been on PA by the county I was living in. He received the charges on the minor after everything was in motion and thats how today is a trial date that I cant physically be at but I am over the phone dealing with.

Quoting Refurbished:

If he's currently going to court for sexually abusing a minor, how is he fighting you for custody?  Is he just saying that he wants to or has he actually filed custody paperwork?

I'm sorry you are going through this.  This must be very scary to have to face potential coparenting with this guy.



AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:07 AM

How scary and annoying. Cute little family you got there btw.  :)

Idk the answers for you... I'm sorry.

opal10161973
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:10 AM

In FL, because he has a history of sexual and/or physical assaults, you could have his rights stripped.  Especailly, if he is found guilty of the one on the minor. 

OneTiredMama86
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:16 AM
1 mom liked this


Thank you and maybe support is what I needed the most

Quoting AM-BRAT:

How scary and annoying. Cute little family you got there btw.  :)

Idk the answers for you... I'm sorry.



OneTiredMama86
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:18 AM


He hasn't been found guilty of anything yet. Or we wouldnt be here right now discussing it. It all has me in a whirlwind and I just wish to be free of it. I feel like I am at a standstill with nobody in my corner

Quoting opal10161973:

In FL, because he has a history of sexual and/or physical assaults, you could have his rights stripped.  Especailly, if he is found guilty of the one on the minor. 



OneTiredMama86
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:27 AM

BUMP!

MDWife12
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:59 AM

Ahhh my babies!! I miss them :) Hang in there hun, he is a piece of shit and no judge in his right mind will let him get custody of little man, not to mention you can make damn sure that visitation is supervised....maybe ask that the visits are supervised at a court house or something like that? He doesn't deserve visitation of little man at all and I will help you fight the courts to revoke ANY rights that the courts give him.

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