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Head bangin hitter!

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 3:34 PM
  • 13 Replies
My son is 16 months old and has been through a period before where he'd bang his head on the floor out of frustration or sometimes even attention it seemed. Awhile back when this was happening I saw many others mom said their kids did the same thing, that its normal and hell grow out of it, not to worry, and even his pediatrician said just ignore it. So I did and it went away. Well for the last few weeks he's been doing it alot more frequently then he ever did the last time he went through this 'phase'. He does it even when he's in a fine mood and getting all the attention in the world. He's got a new bruise on his forehead every day and it looks like he gets best for gods sake! Most times we put our hands between the floor and his forehead, or the table, wall or whatever object he's decided to head bang. But I've been trying to just ignore it lately thinking he'd stop but he does it more. It scares me like he's gonna end up with brain damage! (I know that's near impossible and exaggerated for me to think that way but he does it so often its hard not to worry! No matter how many times the doc or another mom tells me its normal) we thought about buyin him a damn helmet or something!

And he just started this new thing where he hits/slaps/grabs/class at my his dad, mine or my mothers face (whoevers holding him at the time) if he's nervous, frustrated or in a new situation, like shy or anxious type behavior. My moms best friend came over whose met jasper before when he was an infant but since hasn't seen him, and he came in the front door just to say hi to me and as I introduced jasper to him, he looked at me and slapped me in then face! so i said 'owch uou dont have to hurt mommy, its ok its just kevinc see?' And pointed to kevin, so jasper slaps me again. so by this time my ma and her friend thought it was funny knowing jasper would whack me everytime kevin said a word to me, so they did it a few more times! i was laughing too now though, but normally its not a funny situation becase it hurts. (and I know toddlers have no way of remembering someone they've only met once, but my point is that LO didn't used to act this way when he met new people , its a brand new behavior).

He does it whenever he meets someone new and he's kind of up close to them like if I run into someone I haven't seen in years and am chatting and introduce him to the person. Or the other day in my counseling session i brought him to say hi and he hit me wen my counselor addressed him. I know it's a nervous habit and I always address his behavior in a gentle way, letting know know its not right, but he doesn't get it at all. He hits his parents when he's frustrated too, even when there's no one else around. Any ideas to curb this behavior? Thanks alot ladies! Xox
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by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 3:34 PM
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Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 3:47 PM
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I'd grab his hands before any introduction and/or upon him hitting and say "No hitting! That hurts! Soft hands like this." Then I'd help him open his hands and pat gently. Upon completion I'd say, "Yay. Good boy." You'll have to repeat this about three trillion times but eventually it will work.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:17 PM
1 mom liked this


This and put him down when he hits you as well.  He needs to understand that hitting is not ok towards others.  When you or anyone else laughs about it, that encourages him to do it more.  This age loves to be a clown and make others laugh.  For the head thing, give him a pillow to put between head and floor.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I'd grab his hands before any introduction and/or upon him hitting and say "No hitting! That hurts! Soft hands like this." Then I'd help him open his hands and pat gently. Upon completion I'd say, "Yay. Good boy." You'll have to repeat this about three trillion times but eventually it will work.



Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:25 PM

You have to hold his hands down firmly and say "NO HITTING, THAT HURTS!" and give him a "time out" every time. Even if you are out in public. And try not to smile or laugh.

DakotaHaley
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:31 PM

Well, I don't really have any ideas. I did watch a kid once when I was in school who would bang his head on the wall to put himself to sleep. It always bothered me, but seeing him today he is fine and healthy. Although he does have ADHD really bad and is on meds for that.

    It probably is to early to tell, but he might have ADHD or maybe some other kind of health problem. I am not saying that's the case, but it's possible.

    I would talk to his doctor and go from there.


Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:41 PM

True, although we often find what little kids do funny even if it's also bad and hurts, we need to strive to keep a straight, or even harsh face because otherwise it encourages them.


Quoting frndlyfn:


This and put him down when he hits you as well.  He needs to understand that hitting is not ok towards others.  When you or anyone else laughs about it, that encourages him to do it more.  This age loves to be a clown and make others laugh.  For the head thing, give him a pillow to put between head and floor.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I'd grab his hands before any introduction and/or upon him hitting and say "No hitting! That hurts! Soft hands like this." Then I'd help him open his hands and pat gently. Upon completion I'd say, "Yay. Good boy." You'll have to repeat this about three trillion times but eventually it will work.





emarin77
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:41 PM

Get him checked out hon.  It might be Autism or something else.  Are there any other odd behaviors?

xxshelbyxxx
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:26 AM
Omg he doesn't have autism! I can't believe you're the second mom who said he could have a medical condition! My OP was meant to see if any moms had any ideas on how to get him to STOP the head banging, because I'd already asked tons of moms AND his pediatrician months ago, If head banging was normal and everyone's assured me trillions of times that many toddlers do this and its 100% normal. This I'm sure about.


Quoting emarin77:

Get him checked out hon.  It might be Autism or something else.  Are there any other odd behaviors?


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xxshelbyxxx
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:36 AM
I must not have mentioned in my OP that we DO do what you both suggested. When he hits our faces, we grasp both of his hands with ours and look him straight in the eye and say 'no hitting, that hurts mommy!' Or 'owchie, no hit!' We do this every single time he hits. And like I thought I ALSO mentioned in my OP, we don't laugh at the head banging or the hitting, ever. The only time laughter happened was when my moms friend stood by the front door for 5 minutes and he realized when he directed any talking or face expressions towards me, it made jasper hit me. My mom is the one who said 'say something to her! Come on do it!' And shed laugh, so her friend did it two more times and it made us all laugh hysterically. That's never happened before and never will! We don't laugh at this behavior.

The pillow thing?? You're kid obviously never bangs his head on objects because it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a pillow in between his head and the floor/wall/table in time to prevent collision. He does it so quick and repeatedly. I can't just carry a pillow around, plus once he realizes the pillow is soft and he's not getting the desired effect, he'll move his head a few inches to a hard surface.

But thanks for your suggestions. We do already do the no hitting thing. I was hoping someone had something new I could try cuz this isn't working. But like someone said, its gonna take a trillion times til he gets it so well just keep doing what were doing. Thanks again ladies! :)


Quoting frndlyfn:


This and put him down when he hits you as well.  He needs to understand that hitting is not ok towards others.  When you or anyone else laughs about it, that encourages him to do it more.  This age loves to be a clown and make others laugh.  For the head thing, give him a pillow to put between head and floor.


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I'd grab his hands before any introduction and/or upon him hitting and say "No hitting! That hurts! Soft hands like this." Then I'd help him open his hands and pat gently. Upon completion I'd say, "Yay. Good boy." You'll have to repeat this about three trillion times but eventually it will work.





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xxshelbyxxx
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:55 AM
Omg! Just like I said to the other mom who mentioned medical issues before you did: he doesn't have a freakin medical problem! Are you kidding? Where do you get an idea such as that? Have you really heard that before ? That head banging is a symptom of ADHD? Because when he first started this a couple months ago, the first thing I did was ask around on here and babycenter to see if any moms experienced this and sure enough, MANY toddlers do this and its completely normal. Even his pediatrician said its normal, usually a phase that doesn't last long and its either for self soothing or out of frustration, which is why my son does it. So I already KNOW he doesn't have 'problem' , that this is NORMAL, i just made this post to see if any moms who've dealt with this before knew how to stop it because nothing's working for us. In fact, the post I made on here months ago about wondering if this behavior was normal, that's when like 20 different moms told me their kids did it too and it eventually subsided or stops all together...

Sorry if I sounded like a bitch but it amazes me how quick people are to say 'test your kid for ADD ' or other medical problems, when the symptom isn't even something remotely close to an ADD patient.


Quoting DakotaHaley:

Well, I don't really have any ideas. I did watch a kid once when I was in school who would bang his head on the wall to put himself to sleep. It always bothered me, but seeing him today he is fine and healthy. Although he does have ADHD really bad and is on meds for that.

    It probably is to early to tell, but he might have ADHD or maybe some other kind of health problem. I am not saying that's the case, but it's possible.

    I would talk to his doctor and go from there.


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DakotaHaley
by Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:32 AM

Okay I'm sorry but my post didn't say your child had ADHD or even a medical issue. I just said it could be possible and in fact a child as young as yours wouldn't be tested for ADHD anyways. He is to young. And I didn't mean for my post to say head banging is a sign of ADHD, because as far as I know it isn't.

             I was just talking about a boy I watched and I didn't say what he is doing isn't normal as it sounds like you have done your research and it is normal so okay no worries then.

         I am sorry I miss read your post I was just giving my opinion and didn't know you were ONLY looking for ways to stop it. I am sorry I have no help as in ways to stop it. Sorry if I offended you or my post came out wrong I didn't mean it like that and of course I don't know your situation at all. Good luck I am sure he will out grow it.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

Omg! Just like I said to the other mom who mentioned medical issues before you did: he doesn't have a freakin medical problem! Are you kidding? Where do you get an idea such as that? Have you really heard that before ? That head banging is a symptom of ADHD? Because when he first started this a couple months ago, the first thing I did was ask around on here and babycenter to see if any moms experienced this and sure enough, MANY toddlers do this and its completely normal. Even his pediatrician said its normal, usually a phase that doesn't last long and its either for self soothing or out of frustration, which is why my son does it. So I already KNOW he doesn't have 'problem' , that this is NORMAL, i just made this post to see if any moms who've dealt with this before knew how to stop it because nothing's working for us. In fact, the post I made on here months ago about wondering if this behavior was normal, that's when like 20 different moms told me their kids did it too and it eventually subsided or stops all together...

Sorry if I sounded like a bitch but it amazes me how quick people are to say 'test your kid for ADD ' or other medical problems, when the symptom isn't even something remotely close to an ADD patient.


Quoting DakotaHaley:

Well, I don't really have any ideas. I did watch a kid once when I was in school who would bang his head on the wall to put himself to sleep. It always bothered me, but seeing him today he is fine and healthy. Although he does have ADHD really bad and is on meds for that.

    It probably is to early to tell, but he might have ADHD or maybe some other kind of health problem. I am not saying that's the case, but it's possible.

    I would talk to his doctor and go from there.




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