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HELP! My son will not quit talking at school

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:15 PM
  • 6 Replies

My son, Will is 5 1/2 and is in Kindergarten.  He is very social, very smart, but gets in trouble for talking ALL the time.  His teacher emailed me today and told me that her next thing is to put him at a table by himself (and I don't want my kid to be "that kid" who gets put out in the hall or sent off to sit by himself).  They have cards they have to pull if they get in trouble (similar to soccer I think?) and she said that if she had to have him pull cards when she normally would with other kids, he would be on red almost every day (he's been coming home on blue/green which are good behavior, red is bad) but we're aware this is an ongoing issue.  He's just a really social, talkative kid.

She said she is fine with talking as long as the kid who is talking is done with their work and the kid that is being talked to is also done with their work, but they will get in trouble if one of those is not satisfied.  She said that he's distracting others and is sometimes preventing himself from getting his work done.

 We have tried to talking to him several times but nothing seems to work.  We've tried explaining to him that what he is doing at school is distracting to others and isn't fair because he's probably getting other kids in trouble too and keeping them from getting their work done. 

Is anyone else in the same boat?  What can we do? From googling this question I see that it's pretty common but I just don't know what to do!  My husband was/is quiet and I got in trouble some when I was in middle school for talking...but once my teacher told me that I would get sent to the principal's office if she had to move me one more time, I stopped.  I'm not a chatterbox now, and neither is my husband.

Our son talks from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed...a lot of the time my husband and I can't have a complete conversation because we get interrupted by him.  I love him to death, but what  can we do???

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:15 PM
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Replies (1-6):
SweetLuci
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:29 PM

 You need to set some boundaries for him at home. Do not allow him to interrupt you when you are talking. If he does, send him to his room. Since he's social, being along will be punishment. Tell him when he can be quiet he can return. Use a timer. Tell him to color of find something else that's quiet, for 3 minutes. If he does it, he gets a reward, if he doesn't, then no reward. You need to teach him to be quiet for longer and longer periods of time. Just talking to him hasn't worked in the past. You need to start doing rewards and punishment for his behavior. Be consistent. At this age he should be able to control himself to not talk all the time, but since it has been allowed up until now, you've got your work cut out for you. Good luck.

amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:18 PM

My daughter was a talker too (she has ADHD so there are days when everything she thinks will come flying out of her mouth, no filter).

One of her teachers gave her an abicus.  Every time she had a thought that she didn't blurt out, she got to move a bead to the other side of the abicus.  If she blurted, she had to move one back.  She got a lot of praise on the days when she had more beads on the non-blurting side than the other side and it really helped her a lot.

Reina13
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:13 AM

I really like this idea, a lot.

I was a talker too, and my teachers did something similiar with me but it was a chart with lots of positive reinforcement for following the no talking rules.



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Quoting amonkeymom:

My daughter was a talker too (she has ADHD so there are days when everything she thinks will come flying out of her mouth, no filter).

One of her teachers gave her an abicus.  Every time she had a thought that she didn't blurt out, she got to move a bead to the other side of the abicus.  If she blurted, she had to move one back.  She got a lot of praise on the days when she had more beads on the non-blurting side than the other side and it really helped her a lot.


Marimaru
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:01 PM

Moving him to a table by himself is a natural consequence of him not being able to not talk.  I'm sure she doesn't mean she's going to leave him by himself for the whole school year, so if he's by himself for a week, and then sits by someone else the next week, maybe he'll have learned that he needs to not talk so much.

breebree04
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:20 PM

My daughters teachers (all of them from k-2nd grade) call her the social butterfly because she is so social and talkative. It has never affected her work though and usually if she has to pull one card she will stop because she is also very emotional/drama queen and is scared to get in trouble at school. If it was more of a problem, I would definately punish her at home until she could follow the rules at school.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:22 PM

I agree, set strict boundries at home and punishments for talking at school or at home when he is told not to talk. 

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