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I feel like a terrible mom

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My baby is rarely happy. He is normally only happy for about 30-45 minutes after he eats and then he begins to cry because he is getting tired so I will swaddle and rock him to sleep and then lay him down. He cries when he wakes up, he cries when he's tired, bored, scared, hungry, he scratches himself... for no reason.. I feel like he cries all the time and I feel like a failure at decoding the cries. He is 11 weeks and teething. I have baltic amber beads on him and I give him hyland's tablets. I answer all of his cries quickly. I feel like he should know he doesn't need to scream bloody murder to get a response from me. He is just most of the time fussy/grumpy. Everyone tells me there babies are so happy and they "never cry", always smiling. I can't help but feel I am doing something wrong. I use cloth diapers and I feed him donated breast milk (I have IGT) and the WAP formula. Is that much crying/fussiness normal at 11 weeks? Why does everyone tell me their baby is always happy and smiling?

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:52 PM
Replies (21-26):
mcarsel89
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:35 PM


Yeah... that doesn't sound too appitizing to me either... I doubt it's an intolerance... I'm starting to think he's high needs and bored!

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

it could be dairy intolerance.   i know the alternative for wap is a chicken stock based formula... which honestly, sounds awful.   



mcarsel89
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:39 PM


So do you think she was just bored? I'm starting to feel that he just gets pissed off because he can't do anything he wants to. Your daughter sounds exactly like my son. He will take a paci, but the second I walk away he will push it out and cry to get me to come back. Won't hold in his mouth while sleeping though.

Quoting Bieg9093:

I used to refer to the hour in the morning when my baby was happy as "awake, pleasant time."  Besides that time, she was either asleep or flippin' miserable.  She could be calmed by bouncing, rocking, driving, baby-thumping (like burping but with gusto.)  But if we stopped for a red light or had to put her down, she would scream and cry as if in pain.

Switching from pumped breastmilk to soy formula helped, but it wasn't a cure.  Reflux remedies & gas remedies had no effect.  I used to beg that baby to just take a pacifier!  Some called it colic...others said it wasn't and that she was just fussy.  It was awful and I was helpless to fix it, but eventually she got over it...I'd say around crawling time. 

Yes it's normal, but it sucks ass for the mom.  Luckily, it doesn't last.



frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:57 PM

He would probably love this new rattle i saw.  The baby shakes and squeezes it and it turns different colors on the top.  He will be able to do more soon.


Quoting mcarsel89:

I def. think he's high needs before I would think he is colic. I play the ocean music on his pack n play and I have classical music on my ipad. It doesn't seem to make a difference, noise or not. I really feel like he just hates not being able to do things! Physically he is so strong, he hold his own bottle and turns over and scoots around using his back feet. He can't do much more than that but hold toys. He loves to be in the middle of everything I'm doing but doing anything with the sling on is so uncomfortable. I think boredom pisses him off lol


Quoting frndlyfn:

it sounds like he has colic which makes us feel bad.   Talk to the doctor about how he is and get him checked for that.  He also just may be a high needs baby and right now crying is communication.   What type of music do you play around him?  Maybe try some lullabye type music just to play throughout the day and night.  A white noise machine also may help since there is usually a heart beat setting on it.





Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:30 PM

 She needed specific kinds of sensory input.  I don't know if it was to relieve boredom or discomfort or what. In the absence of movement or rhythmic thumping, she'd susbstitute screaming.  She may not have been screaming out of distress...it may have just been her nervous system's way of providing input.

 

Quoting mcarsel89:

 

So do you think she was just bored? I'm starting to feel that he just gets pissed off because he can't do anything he wants to. Your daughter sounds exactly like my son. He will take a paci, but the second I walk away he will push it out and cry to get me to come back. Won't hold in his mouth while sleeping though.

Quoting Bieg9093:

I used to refer to the hour in the morning when my baby was happy as "awake, pleasant time."  Besides that time, she was either asleep or flippin' miserable.  She could be calmed by bouncing, rocking, driving, baby-thumping (like burping but with gusto.)  But if we stopped for a red light or had to put her down, she would scream and cry as if in pain.

Switching from pumped breastmilk to soy formula helped, but it wasn't a cure.  Reflux remedies & gas remedies had no effect.  I used to beg that baby to just take a pacifier!  Some called it colic...others said it wasn't and that she was just fussy.  It was awful and I was helpless to fix it, but eventually she got over it...I'd say around crawling time. 

Yes it's normal, but it sucks ass for the mom.  Luckily, it doesn't last.

 

 

 

jabs54
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:35 PM

 Awww, you're not a terrible mom!  Babies are all different.  I've had three and they all had different personalities.  Our youngest cried so much that first year it just about drove me nuts.  We constantly had her to the doctor insisting "there must be something wrong with this child", lol.  When she started walking she got happy and was the easiest child to raise.  Considering the rough start, she has been a real joy!  Try to relax and go with the flow and know that "this too shall pass".

Mommy_jessaboo
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:06 PM

Some babies are just fussy and grumpy and colicy. Is he gassy or spitting up or anything like that? If so I would say maybe try soy he may need it. He is still too little to know its okay not to cry. Thats the only way he knows to get your attention. Try warm baths give him lots of things to play with tummy time everything. I would also try talking to his doctor. They might have a lot of good tips to help you with this.

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