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What do you think? Had this discussion with some Mom's last night.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:17 AM
  • 18 Replies
1 mom liked this

Some neighborhood Mom's were playing Pokeno.  After we were talking about various subjects and this came up.  One Mom is on the elementary school board which has K-8 in the school. 

The school board has taken up talking over the subject of what can they do about kids and facebook and just in general conversations about say kids talking about last weekends slumber party when all were not included.  Or posting pics on facebook about the slumber party.  How can "everyone" be friends with everyone and not excluding people.  Making kids invited the whole class to parties etc. 

Well, we all jumped on this one.  You can't make everyone by friends.  I am not friends with everyone either.  You can't force kids to be friends.  You can't tell kids what they can and cannot do on their home computer, or who they can or cannot invite to parties, slumber parties or whatever.  What world are we trying to turn into. 

I mean already kids get trophies when they do not deserve them.  Some honor roles are gone not to slight others.  Our poor kids will never be ready for the real cruel world if we shelter them and let this happen. 

ALL of us agreed the school needs to stay out of personal lives.  Anyone one of us grew up being excluded at one time or another and we survived.  Most have a core group of friends and even then may ask one to spend the night this weekend and another another weekend.  You don't always invite all of your friends to everything, let alone someone you don't know or are not friends with. 

The schools are really walking a fine line on overstepping boundries here. 

Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
-PB
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:41 AM
3 moms liked this

 I think we are doing a great disservice to our children if/when we give them the idea that they are entitled to have every undeserved award, to be apart of all groups, and invite/be invited to every event.  The real world isn't like that.  Why would we coddle them so incessantly and set them up for a mid-life disappointment when they find out life isn't about entitlements? 

-PB
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:49 AM
2 moms liked this

 This came to mind so I had to add it...

anotherandree
by Inga on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:54 AM

I completely agree.  We always tell our kids that they should be mindful of others feelings and try to be considerate of others, but you cannot force someone to play with (or be friends with) them if that person does not want to.  I agree that the school needs to stay out.  My kids' school has a policy that if a child has a party, all children of the same sex must be invited to the party if invitations are handed out at school.  That actually breaks my heart because I have to wonder if my child is being invited because they HAVE TO or are they are being invited because they WANT TO?

JTE11
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:24 PM

It would be nice, for a change, if schools and the people in and associated with them would pay as much attention to how badly they are failing their students as they are in prosecuting little girls with bubble guns and worrying about someone's feelings possibly getting hurt for not being invited to a party. They can't even teach kids how to think and learn anymore (teaching to the standardized tests doesn't count) and they are worrying about controlling the kids' personal lives now? I'm pretty sure the kids don't want to be friends with everyone or else they would BE friends with everyone. Sure, let's give the kids even less preparation for living in the real world (where not everyone has to like or even acknowledge you) and let's give them even more tax money to do it. Good grief.

mommaFruFru
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:56 PM
The only thing our school says is that if you send invites through the school/classroom that you invite everyone. But if you call/fb/direct mail everyone you can invite whomever you want
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ferne3
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this

YES!!!!  I am starting to see 'kids' who grew up this way when I am hiring entry level positions and they are in for some nasty wake-ups.  Many expect to put in minimal efforts for maximum rewards.  I interviewed one for a filing job in an accounting department - who was in community college, just out of high school, who slumped in his chair and said he expected to be CFO in 5 years.  With no irony.  I see my job as a parent to help gently guide my kids to 'the real world'.  In the real world not everyone is friends, you don't get trophies for participating and someone has to come in last.  And that is ok, because, that is how you find out what your strengths are.  If these things happen as children I can help soften the blow, if they happen after you leave, well, that will be tougher.  Oh, and your mom doesn't live with you your entire life so you need to know how to be a good citizen, say please and thank you and clean up after yourself.    Ok, getting off the soap box now.  Sorry, this just gets under my skin.  Get out of their FB pages/off their phones calls.  I agree if you do it in class, invite everyone, otherwise, would you want people you work with (or your SO works with) to tell you who you are allowed to hang out with, or that everyone in the office shoudl be invited to a BBQ?

mom2ljh
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:03 PM

I agree with you.  That is crazy talk right there.  

mom2ljh
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:08 PM

Well they can't really stop you if everything, including invites, is taking place off of school premises, and I would dare them to try.  

Quoting mommaFruFru:

The only thing our school says is that if you send invites through the school/classroom that you invite everyone. But if you call/fb/direct mail everyone you can invite whomever you want



mommaFruFru
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:16 PM
My younger sons school district has that rule. Though I don't get it.

Quoting mom2ljh:

Well they can't really stop you if everything, including invites, is taking place off of school premises, and I would dare them to try.  


Quoting mommaFruFru:

The only thing our school says is that if you send invites through the school/classroom that you invite everyone. But if you call/fb/direct mail everyone you can invite whomever you want




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Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:36 PM

I hear you.  Or the child who is always told "good job!"  The words become meaningless. 

Quoting ferne3:

YES!!!!  I am starting to see 'kids' who grew up this way when I am hiring entry level positions and they are in for some nasty wake-ups.  Many expect to put in minimal efforts for maximum rewards.  I interviewed one for a filing job in an accounting department - who was in community college, just out of high school, who slumped in his chair and said he expected to be CFO in 5 years.  With no irony.  I see my job as a parent to help gently guide my kids to 'the real world'.  In the real world not everyone is friends, you don't get trophies for participating and someone has to come in last.  And that is ok, because, that is how you find out what your strengths are.  If these things happen as children I can help soften the blow, if they happen after you leave, well, that will be tougher.  Oh, and your mom doesn't live with you your entire life so you need to know how to be a good citizen, say please and thank you and clean up after yourself.    Ok, getting off the soap box now.  Sorry, this just gets under my skin.  Get out of their FB pages/off their phones calls.  I agree if you do it in class, invite everyone, otherwise, would you want people you work with (or your SO works with) to tell you who you are allowed to hang out with, or that everyone in the office shoudl be invited to a BBQ?


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