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Terrible 2s?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:57 PM
  • 6 Replies

So, I know this might sound silly, but at 19 months, dd is hitting her T2s already. She hits, screams, throws toys, bites, throws tantrums...

I honestly don't know what to do!

Here's her background:

Dh and I live with his grandparents. Dh and I spoil her, when she deserves it. His grandmother is slowly getting better and coming to our side (as if she shouldn't be already as she's our child... but...) Papa is still drop everything on a dime and give her whatever she wants. Yesterday, for example, she had 7 popsicles. 7!!! In 12 hours!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?

All she eats is McDonalds! I say no, he does it anyways!! Dh says no, they yell at him and tell him he's going to starve her.

She doesn't even sleep in a crib anymore. She's been co-sleeping with papa since about 10 months old. A, that pisses me off, and b, they get mad because he has to get up with her every night. Well, firstly, dh and I can't hear her. We'd get those baby monitor things, but dh says that's really creepy to listen in on his grandpa. I agree. I refuse to let dd co-sleep with us, but we can't break her of the habit now that they took the crib down.

Moving out at this point is not an option. We don't have the finances for it.

How are you/did you deal with this? We ignore her when she screams until she realizes we're not going to feed into it... well, until papa rescuses her like she's dying.

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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:57 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Mdmooch
by New Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:02 PM

I am sorry, but I think that is creepy that she sleeps with the grandfather.  And it is creepy that he buys her everything she wants.  It kind of sounds like he is "grooming" her.  Have other grandchildren slept in his bed?  Where is the grandmother while he is sleeping with your child?  I am sorry, I am not trying to judge here, but  I would never allow my child to do that.  I hope your situation gets better and you can move out.  If that was my kid I would have 100% say in everything.  Sorry I don't have an answer to your intended question.  I don't know how to help you with that.

nverheyn2011
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

Thanks. I find it really creepy too. But dh says it's harmless. They sleep in a spare bedroom, door open. Right across the hall from the grandmother.

While I don't know for sure if any other grandchildren slept in bed with him, he does allow them so sit on his lap... at age 10, 20, and 22. All girls.

Quoting Mdmooch:

I am sorry, but I think that is creepy that she sleeps with the grandfather.  And it is creepy that he buys her everything she wants.  It kind of sounds like he is "grooming" her.  Have other grandchildren slept in his bed?  Where is the grandmother while he is sleeping with your child?  I am sorry, I am not trying to judge here, but  I would never allow my child to do that.  I hope your situation gets better and you can move out.  If that was my kid I would have 100% say in everything.  Sorry I don't have an answer to your intended question.  I don't know how to help you with that.


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Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Well first of all I'd put the crib back up in my room or a room close enough to hear her. Second, I wouldn't let her scream unless you are trying CIO and then not for long at all. (If you lived at my house and were letting the child scream I'd pick her up too, btw.)

Also I'd have to just put limits on treats which fast food and such should be. Say once a week at first then once every two weeks and so on.

YOU are the parents. ACT like it and enforce YOUR rules.

Every time she hits, or bites, stop her, show her how to touch softly or be nice instead. After a few million repetitions she will get it.


Mdmooch
by New Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Ok.  It just sounds like a bad situation.  Is there no one else who could take you in for a while?

nverheyn2011
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:30 PM

I wanted to put the crib back up, but there's a 16 yo in the family who got knocked up (and ditched by the guy) who "needs it more". The whole family thinks that dd is theirs, no matter how much I protest. Smh @ them.

I guess the whole point to my post is really how to settle THEM down lol

And btw, I might have not explained it through enough, but we don't let her scream and cry for more than 5 minutes, max. But as soon as her lip puckers papa's there with whatever she wants.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

Well first of all I'd put the crib back up in my room or a room close enough to hear her. Second, I wouldn't let her scream unless you are trying CIO and then not for long at all. (If you lived at my house and were letting the child scream I'd pick her up too, btw.)

Also I'd have to just put limits on treats which fast food and such should be. Say once a week at first then once every two weeks and so on.

YOU are the parents. ACT like it and enforce YOUR rules.

Every time she hits, or bites, stop her, show her how to touch softly or be nice instead. After a few million repetitions she will get it.



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Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:56 PM

Try some of these links on how to deal with difficult people. Find a solution. Keep trying. Don't think anything is impossible. It's only impossible if you give up.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200609/dealing-difficult-people

http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/10things/10-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-people/2289

http://blogs.hbr.org/schwartz/2011/10/the-secret-to-dealing-with-dif.html

http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/dealing-with-difficult-people/



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