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Need Help....My Toddler has not been listening to me at all, what do I do

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:29 AM
  • 18 Replies


busy mom

QTSINGS <3

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cutiesings2u
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:38 AM

OK, so this is what has been going on.....My son, seems to think he does not have to listen to a thing I have to say.  He knows how to say certain words, but, chooses to just point and use baby talk.  I am getting soo frustrated.  I know he knows how to say what he wants, but, I just do not understand why he won't.  When I try to get him to say the words for what he wants he throws a huge fit.  Also, I have been trying really hard to get him to stop messing with things that he knows he is not supposed to touch.  We have tried time out, swatting his hand, taking away his toys, nothing has worked yet.  He treats time out in his room as playtime.  He goes in his room, shuts his door, and then starts opening and closing his door over and over again.  Also, he thinks he can get out of his room whenever he feels he should be able to.  My husband and I are literally at our wits end when it comes to these things.  There are days where he is great, but, then most of the time he acts like he cannot hear us, and just continues doing what he wants to.  
I just do not know what to do.  It also seems that every time I manage to get him back to where he listens and what not when Grandma comes for a visit it all goes out the door.  What am I supposed to do?
I also do not know how to get him to understand that it is not ok to climb on MOmmy because it hurts.  My incison from my last c-section still hurts when they put pressure on it.  I mean it is enough that his sister is constantly kicking at it when she is in my lap, I do not need him putting all his weight on me there as well.   He also climbs all over his sister, and I am worried about him putting soo much weight on her when she is soo much smaller than him.   

busy mom

QTSINGS <3

mynewlife2012
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:40 AM
How old is he?
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lovinmykiddo07
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:43 AM
That's part of being a toddler. Stay firm, don't back down, and redirect! Thats what we have to do at the daycare I work at. Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't. Lol
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cutiesings2u
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:46 AM

He is 2

cutiesings2u
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:48 AM

yeah, I know...it just feels like some days he ends up spending most of it in his room  because he will not listen to me.  It is getting soo frustrating...

2pittsburghboys
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:58 AM
Wow he's only 2...sounds perfectly normal 2 yr old behavior. Some children dont even speak at 2 . Also sending a 2 yr old.to a room of toys for time out is pointless u need a timeout corner and or step that way there is nothing to play with. i think ypu need to be more realistic with what ur expectations are. The climbing is going to happen he is a 2 ur old boy my almost 4 yar old still climbs all over me. Maybe try and tell him you hwve a booboo belly qnd ahow him it hurts maybe pretend cry. He. would not want to hurt mommy on purpose. Good Luck!
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ScarletRose4488
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:58 AM

You need to be stricter.  Your son is doing this because you let him do this.  Yes, all todlers are difficult.  But it sounds like he is pushing his limits and winning --- so what is to stop him?   Since I am not in your house and I can not see what is going on exactly, I can not tell you exactly what you are doing wrong.   But you have lost your authority with him.   And your getting frustrated / upset is telling him 1) that what he is doing is working and 2) that you are not strong authoritive mom but you are weak and eventually will give him what he wants. 

Want him to stop the babytalk & pointing?   Stop responding to it.   Say "I don't understand baby talk"  or "You need to use your words".   While we are at it...... you also should be saying "I don't understand when you cry", I don't understand you when you yell" and "We can talk about this when you are done _____(Hitting, slamming doors, in time-out, ect)"   Then follow through on it.   With the exception of any real danger - where you should oviously respond.... do NOT respond to him when he behaves like this.   Grab a book to read.  It is not going to hurt him to have to wait until he calms down for his glass of milk, snack, ect.  If you stay consistant and stop giving in to him then he will learn very very fast. 

Next.....stop giving Grandma her way.   Lay down the rules and if she can not follow them ask her to leave.  I am serious.   She has no right to undermine you with your child.   If she will not respect you as a mother than do not invite her over.  If you are at her house you can leave.  It really is that simple.   (And she will learn fast too)

Good luck!!  

2pittsburghboys
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:00 AM
Sorry about all the spelling errors. I'm mobile and the auto correct had a mind of its own today.

Quoting 2pittsburghboys:

Wow he's only 2...sounds perfectly normal 2 yr old behavior. Some children dont even speak at 2 . Also sending a 2 yr old.to a room of toys for time out is pointless u need a timeout corner and or step that way there is nothing to play with. i think ypu need to be more realistic with what ur expectations are. The climbing is going to happen he is a 2 ur old boy my almost 4 yar old still climbs all over me. Maybe try and tell him you hwve a booboo belly qnd ahow him it hurts maybe pretend cry. He. would not want to hurt mommy on purpose. Good Luck!
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Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:24 AM

 This is the age when you teach them how to listen.  You say something once.  If he listens/obeys then you show plenty of pleasure and gratitude.  If he doesn't listen/obey then you get up and make him do (or stop doing) what you said.  No asking over and over, pleading, etc...in that way he learns NOT to listen.  It's a repetitive process.  It requires a LOT of getting up and going to him.  But in this manner, you teach him that what Mommy says is what WILL happen every single time.  It's just up to him to choose the easy way or the hard way. 

Especially at a time when there's a new baby in the mix, make sure you show pleasure and gratitude to him every time you catch him doing something good.

Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:55 AM

This is his way of rebelling against what he sees as his rival, the new baby. On top of this, he is at an age where he is trying out his boundaries and lacks enough verbal skills to express all that he feels.  He can't climb on Mommy, but there is baby doing exactly this.  Be sure to have cuddle time with him in a way that doesn't hurt you, of course. Just him and you.  Have just him and you time every day- no baby to distract you. Now for the parenting part of my advice:  since he is testing his boundaries, you must be very careful to be consistent.  He wants to know what his boundaries are, and you and your husband are the ones to set them. Be firm, never yell.  Never give in. Never make a threat that you don't intend to carry out. He knows that you don't want to make a scene in front of grandma, so he'll take advantage of this. Remove him from the room, excusing yourself to Grandma, and have him sit in time out for one minute per year of age, even if you have to stand there with him to enforce this. Do it every time. Grandma will get provoked at first, but that's the way it has to be.

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