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Hello to all! Hope your all having a great day! My name is Michelle, I am 46 I have 3 grown children and 3 adorable Grandkids, I have been living with my boyfriend for 13 years, he is not the childrens Father, he really never has been! The current situation I am dealing with is my Son (20 years old) got a job about 10 min from my house, he lives with his gf her brother and her Mom, they had a car that belonged to the Moms Dad, he came and got the car, now they have no transportation. I have been giving my son a ride to and from work, he gives me gas money. I am hearing from my bf that I am being a taxicab and he needs to find his own ride. If anyone has delt with this in their own personal life what did you do? I only ask for advice not judgement! ty,have a nice weekend

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Replies (11-18):
zweedledee
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:18 PM

One thing is helping, another thing is enabling a horrid lifestyle. My brother was a pill addict. My mom was always "helping" him get his pills, and getting him out of jail, and giving him rides, and giving him money. He lived at my parents house until he was about 30 before he got his own apartment and then expected my mom to pay his bills. Which she did. Once (HA) he finally got an old car. It broke. So he asked me if he could use my car. Well, of course he is my brother. So he told me that his car was going in the shop and was grateful that he could use my car to get to work. I was happy. Until... I asked him how his car was coming along. Well, not only did he not put his car in the shop, he had no intentions of doing so. His intentions were to just keep using my car as if it was his. When he gave it back, it was missing the nice new set of knives that I had bought for my mom's christmas present in the trunk. Yeah.. nice. Got to watch helping if it is LIKE THIS. But, I don't think this is a common situation. Helping your children is what parents live to do.


Queen_Bree
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:26 PM

I dont see anything wrong with giving your grown son a ride to work as long as he pays for gas. Why is he so bothered by you goiving him a ride? Does he have kids?

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:54 AM
He pays for the gas. I don't see the problem.
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alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:31 AM

 he's your son..he needs to get to work...he pays you for gas...i see nothing wrong with what you are doing.

Michelle980
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:23 AM

Thanks everyone for the advice. I just told him I will always help my kids. They are all good kids, they have had a hard life having only me to depend on, their own father never paid child support or any kind of support, he passed away, so I am and always will be their only support system! If I felt in any way they were taking advantage of me I would not enable them,  but occasionally I take my daughter to buy groceries or cash her cs check, now I am giving my son a ride to work. I just told him he would just have to except the fact that they have always depended on me and I cant just stop, I have prayed for him to be more understanding of my situation, it is working!good

nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:02 PM

Since he has never been a parent to your children in the 13 years he has lived with you (and them) he does not get any kind of a say in how you choose to parent, or help, them.



Michelle980
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:21 PM


Thats exactly what I say! 

Quoting nuts4scouts:

Since he has never been a parent to your children in the 13 years he has lived with you (and them) he does not get any kind of a say in how you choose to parent, or help, them.





tiredmama42
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:22 AM

If my kids need help I am there for them.  If they were taking advantage that would be different.  If your available and your DS even offers gas money.. why does it bother BF?    My Dh crabs when I pick up or do stuff for my 11 year old.   Are they jealous?  Think we are supposed to only do stuff for them?   I figure its something they need to deal with .. just complaining for no good reason.

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