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I am afraid strangers will judge me for...* Edited to add*

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Formula feeding. I know I can't do anything about the way people act, or think, but I hate being judged as it is. I know I will get dirty looks and whispers behind my back. I just wish I could wear a sign telling people why I am not breastfeeding the child in my arms. Just venting....thanks for listening.



Edit : Formula feeding isn't something we are doing by choice. We are foster parents, there isn't another choice. I think that is why I am so worried about what others think. That they will not understand.
Also, for those suggesting it, we are not allowed to give foster babies breast milk, or breast feed them. We aren't even allowed to give unpasturized cows milk. It is our agencies rules.
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:16 PM
Replies (161-170):
loving2live
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Don't worry about what people think. You are giving the baby a better life by being a foster parent, and that's all that matters.

I mean, if you were BFing, people would judge you too (even if you are covered.) "Why can't she feed the baby before she leaves the privacy of her home?" "Why doesn't she plan ahead and pump before an outing, instead of feeding with just a blanket covering her boob?" etc.

People who are critical without even knowing the basic situation aren't worth stressing over.
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lizzistardust
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:51 PM

I think it's extremely messed up that our society has an attitude that causes this sort of anxiety these days.  My son never took to breast feeding, so I pumped and supplemented with formula.  I felt fine about that, but I was still very anxious about strangers seeing me give him a bottle.

Though, I must admit, I never got a single comment or obviously negative look.  I know that some of my friends are super pro-BF and they were probably "disappointed" that I didn't try harder to exclusively BF or pump longer than I did, but that's merely my assumption.

And the fact is that you (they) simply cannot accurately judge!  You're not making a lesser choice for your baby, you're doing the best thing that's available to you.  Period.  Proudly give that baby the best you can hive him/her!

widowedmomoftwo
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:51 PM

I don't think anyone really cares when you are out in public...I don't even look at parents feeding their babies and wonder what they are feeding...none of my business

jdahlstedt
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:52 PM

Screw what anyone else thinks. You are doing a wonderful thing fostering this child and as long as you do what you can to make sure he/she is happy and healthy that's all that matters.

supastars
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:52 PM
People judge if you breastfeed, they judge if you bottle feed...there is no pleasing everyone. Just do what is best for you and baby and ignore those judgemental people.
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GOBryan
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:53 PM

There's different color bottles and why should the mother care what others think regardless? It's really no one's business why or how she feeds her child. 

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

Um breastmilk looks alot different then formula, so people will know.


Quoting GOBryan:

I formula fed all 3 of my kids.. so what? One was a preemie. I never felt anyone gave me dirty looks or even thought anything of it. Why is it even a concern? They can give you dirty looks for your color, age, nationality.. why would formula feeding be the thing to give you dirty looks? I don't get it.  Besides, it could be breastmilk in the bottle for all they know. 



nverheyn2011
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:53 PM

i formula fed dd. she's boilogically mine.

hottmommi42
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:54 PM
I got dirty looks for bf, for feeding breastmilk in bottles, or sippy cups. I got dirty looks for ff my niece while her mom was in the hospital having major surgery. People just judge. I hate it, but i choose to be part of the solution and not judge. And fend snotty parents off with some smart mouth comment. (jk that would not solve anything).
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ProudTeenMom319
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:54 PM

Awe, that is a shame. 
Your doing the best you possibly can, and that is all that matters. 

Quoting Mommy2justone:

No we aren't allowed. We can't even give donor milk. And, usually, bio mom isn't allowed to either because most infants are taken for drug abuse in our area. 

Quoting ProudTeenMom319:

If you wanted to BF you can relactate with a little effort. However, I don't know the whole situation, let alone know if you are allowed to BF a foster child. 
 



jenettyshome
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:54 PM

 Just "let it go".  Seriously, it's none of their business!!  I know it's not always easy.  I couldn't breastfeed, no matter how hard I tried.  It was so uncomfortable and painful for me, I didn't enjoy it at all.  I once had a doctor give me a hard time about it.  Needless to say he didn't stay my doctor.  I know breast is best but it wasn't best for me!  All my babies are now healthy and in great shape (all skinny beans...lol) so "whatever!". 

On a side note - I would so LOVE to be foster mommy to babies!! 

Neale Donald Walsch - "Mine is not a better way, mine is merely another way."


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