Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am afraid strangers will judge me for...* Edited to add*

Posted by   + Show Post

Formula feeding. I know I can't do anything about the way people act, or think, but I hate being judged as it is. I know I will get dirty looks and whispers behind my back. I just wish I could wear a sign telling people why I am not breastfeeding the child in my arms. Just venting....thanks for listening.

Edit : Formula feeding isn't something we are doing by choice. We are foster parents, there isn't another choice. I think that is why I am so worried about what others think. That they will not understand.
Also, for those suggesting it, we are not allowed to give foster babies breast milk, or breast feed them. We aren't even allowed to give unpasturized cows milk. It is our agencies rules.
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:16 PM
Replies (301-310):
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:56 PM

You really shouldn't worry about what others think.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:06 PM
I breastfeed my DD, and I get dirty looks for THAT !!! Bottom line every situation is different. You just do what is right for YOUR child. People are awful and are going to judge regardless , who cares what judgemental strangers think
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:14 PM
I breast fed our son now 13. Our daughter 3 1/2 I formula fed. She was our foster daughter that we adopted. I didn't worry about the looks I got. I did what was best for both kids. So should you.
by Sarah on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:40 PM

i know what you mean, i would want to explain it. my friend started using formula when the baby was very small and said she got judgemental looks and comments, unfortunatley. I hope no one does it to you, though. congratulations on your twins! (i think it was twins)

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:44 PM

You don't have to be embarrassed about ppl judging you for not breastfeeding.  You should be pleased that you can help a baby who needs it!

PS: I b-fed all four of mine and I don't judge formula feeding mamas.  I maintain a strict policy of not judging others unless I know that they know that what they are doing is wrong.  Then, I'm not judging them, they've already judged themselves (I'm just agreeing).  I think people should do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.


by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:51 PM

First, congratulations on becoming foster parents. On giving a baby a safe and loving environment to live in.  That's what you should be celebrating and be worried about not a bunch of people that may judge you.  And if they do what's the big deal? People judge people in the dairy aisle of a supermarket because they're not buying organic milk, this is the kind of world we live in but remember at the end of the day this is YOUR LIFE and YOUR CHOICES.  You don't have to explain to anyone why you are formula feeding, even if it wasn't your foster child.  

I had chosen to formula feed after about a month of BF'ing. It was a difficult choice for me but inevitably I was unhappy and if I'm unhappy how was I going to make my child happy?

Hope that you get tons of positive feed back from the women here and realize that there are many other, bigger, harder choices you're going to have to make for your new baby and that your that child's parent, you have to decide for them not those that may be taking behind your back.

Good luck & congrats!!

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:15 PM

My attitude about what other people think of me is "Well I am not in High School anymore so I dont really care what others think of me" it just helps me make choices for me and my family and not for others

by Amber on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:37 PM

I get it but what a bummer.  :(

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I would loose my foster license if I breastfed someone else's baby. And we are not allowed to give Donor milk, or make homemade formula. We aren't even allowed to feed a foster child unpasteurized cows milk. 

Quoting AM-BRAT:

Op it's no big deal.

I know there IS a way, when you say there is NO way- like donors, or forcing your body to produce.

But I see why you would ff.


by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:42 PM

hey dont worry! :) i had a lot of trouble getting my milk to come in so i had to do a lot of formula supplementing because the pediatrician told me my son wasnt gaining enough wieght and he couldnt wait around till when i could fully supply him. no body said anything and i didnt notice any dirty looks in public. FYI i didnt even explain all this to everyone, its not everyones business. trust me everyone focused on the adorable baby and no one said anything judgemental.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:33 PM

My doctor put me on a medication that made it unsafe for me to breast feed.  I didn't know until I was in the delivery room!!  Sadly, I needed the meds, so it was what needed to be done, but I still had others make me feel like a horrible mother who didn't love her child!  Some people are just so attached to an issue that they demonize anyone who disagrees.  Remember that it is THEIR issue, not yours.  I was formula fed as my mother was on similar meds during her pregnancy.  My brother was formula fed because she just never produced milk the second time around!  We are both degrees professionals who have been married over 10 years (to the same person) and have happy, healthy kids of our own.  Everything will be ok, promise!  And thank you for taking child into your home!!!  So many kids need love out there.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)