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am i crazy? update

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:36 AM
  • 20 Replies

My SO went out for a "couple of drinks" at 10pm. She then shows up at 2 with 3 of her friends who need to stay the night becuase they are drunk and can't drive.  She doesn't get why i'm pissed and told me that since i said something about being pissed (to her, not her friends) that her friends will think i'm a bitch.  Excuse me for being worried when I think you are coming home in and hour or two and you show up 4 hours later.  I don't care that your friends stay but a head's up would have been nice! Maybe I'm overreacting? I don't know. She hasn't spent time with me in days and promised we would cuddle tonight....but does 3 hours counts? Literally by the time she comes to bed it will be at least 3 am and I always wake up at 7. I have no control over my insomnia. Haven't slept in days because I can't sleep without her and she works overnights. I was really looking forward to time with her tonight and i feel like i got kicked to the bottom of the list....am i crazy to feel this way? Am i just supposed to act like i'm okay?


**update**

My gf and I were able to talk about everything this morning.  She actually agreed with me that she was wrong to not communicate changes with me or ask before having people over.  She never admits when she is wrong so wow! We set some new ground rules for going out to avoid this problem in the future.  Thank you to all of you for your replies. It is true that I need to not rely on her for sleep and I will be going to the doctor for sleep aids. The insomnia is a fairly recent development and I'm scared of sleep aids because I am a full time student, I work full time, and I'm a full time dance mom plus my son, gf, and I do 5 hours each per week of volunteering at the animal shelter.  There is simply not enough hours in the day to sleep for 8 hours all the time.

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
firespurity
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:37 AM
I can't sleep alone either. But I have no advice
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:33 AM

I would have liked a heads up as well just to prepare an area for them to sleep.  I would be disappointed if my guy went out and came home that late when i was looking forward to some serious skin time.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 5:16 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't think you're over-reacting, it's just courtesy to let your so know you're bringing home friends, and that you'll be late.

Christine0813
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 Exactly!

Quoting Lindalou907:

I don't think you're over-reacting, it's just courtesy to let your so know you're bringing home friends, and that you'll be late.


rollinthunder6
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:29 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you are being reasonable. I would talk to her and tell why you feel the way you do. I do not know anyone  would not be upset over this. So no you are not overreacting.

Maddiesmommy11
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Are you a mom and a lesbian ??..is she the mom of your kids . Are little kids having to be brought up in this situation..Just curious .
-PB
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:42 PM

 I'd be a little pissed if my dh was 3 hours late and brought a couple of drunk friends home to spend the night.  She definitely should have called.

dmralph
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:19 PM

its hard today with working parents and schedules. time mangement and respect goes along ways. Just make a plan and expedite it, and if the other person fails to comply, then maybe there is other reasons why this person why should be in the relationship. If you speak to your doctor and a diectian i definetly know hat theywill help tremendously. they got alot of great tips for your insomonia.ALSO aeroma therapy works for me. Walmart gots some great liquid sense that you can pour on your sheets. Also your SO doesnt respect you enough to all of a sudden invite your home as a stay and play place after having there fun that they just left. Play time is over little one. Tell So to get there friends to a stay up all night daycare care center for there needs. Your Spouse if is important to you, you would not do this to them. Considering health issuse that are involved. Im sure you contribute to the fianacial ends f your reationship and lack of sleep should be considered as a couple.  

GELiz
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:59 PM

NOpe, YOu are not crazy. I would not like it if my DH went out drinking with buddies and did that. He woul because loving someone also means being considerate of them. So I'd be mad. And I would say so. And he would have to promise not to do it again or there would be consequences.

edieda
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:29 PM

No you are not  crazy , or over reacting, SO should have called you to at least let you know she was ok and would be bringing some friends home. Also from the tone of everything else in your letter, you two need to sit down and talk and work on strengthening your relationship. sounds as if you two are not on the same page, so to speak in terms of the relationship between you two.

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