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How mad would your DH/SO be if...(LONG rant)

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:55 PM
  • 43 Replies

If you accidentally left a poopy diaper on the changing table connected to the crib (if you had that type) when you had to get up at 3:50 am to change her and get her back to sleep, and then in the morning when he went in there she was eating the poop from the diaper and had it all over her. Ok, yes I know that is nasty, but it was an accident and I was half asleep when I ran in there to see why she was screaming. She normally sleeps through the night and is almost 9 months old. I was half asleep, changed her in the dark because I didn't want to wake my 4 year old, gave her a paci, sat on the couch in the living room with her, got her to sleep and went to bed.

I am very forgetful and always have been even when completely awake, so half asleep, yes I forgot about the poopy diaper on the changing table. She is pulling up on everything so she is able to reach the diaper that was left on the changing table connected to her crib even with the mattress at its lowest point. I think it is gross that she was eating the poop, but I told him ever kid at some point will probably manage to eat their poop regardless of how hard to try to prevent it.

The reason I ask is my boyfriend got so angry, he changed her, went and showered and said he was going out. He was obviously mad and I asked what was wrong. He said we'd talk about it when he got back. I asked where he was going and he said he didn't know yet but he needed to calm down. I could understand him being mad but this is the most angry he has ever become in the over a year we've been together. He never even mentioned anything about the diaper or anything even though I got up when he was changing her, he never said anything to me. He left and I kept trying to come up with what he could suddenly be so angry about.

I went into the kids room and saw the clothes he changed her out of and saw some poo on them and threw them in the washer. I remembered that I had accidentally left the diaper there that early morning and so I texted him to see if it was about the diaper. So then he proceeded to text me back about how she was eating the poop. I said i was sorry about it, but I couldn't understand why he was so mad. He went to his friend's house and was there for a few hours. I finally took the kids to run to the store, when we got back he was home. He seemed to not be mad anymore like nothing happened, but I actually was mad at this point because he had gotten so mad at me and just left. I didn't say much to him as I was still a little angry but didn't want to start anything since he seemed to not be mad.

Well that night (Friday) I was supposed to be going out with a friend for her 21st birthday party and he was going to watch the kids. He ended up going to bed at 6:30 and didn't wake up when I tried to get him up so I could go. I NEVER go out, it has been since October that I've been out with friends, since I've gone somewhere by myself. He wouldn't get up and I missed out on going to my friends birthday because I can't leave a 4 year old and almost 9 month alone while he sleeps in the bedroom...Well he goes and visits friends a couple times a week for a couple hours at a time without us, so I didn't think it was much to ask for him to watch the kids so I could go out this one time.

Well I was trying to get over this and Saturday he said he was going to run stuff to Goodwill and joked about possibly being gone a couple hours, then he does end up gong to another friends house...I was supposed to be meeting some friends as one is moving out of town, I was taking the kids with me and hoped he would come with me, but he stayed at his friend's for quite a while. It was about 4:00 when I was leaving and asked if he was coming with cause he wasn't home, and he says no he needs to go home and go to bed, yes he works overnights but I thought it was unfair that he always stays up to see other people but wasn't willing to stay up to go with me, it was supposed to be a group thing, my two friends and their guys and their kids...

Anyway, so I left a note last night for him to see on the counter before heading to work, I went ahead and went to bed while he was still sleeping and I knew we wouldn't have time to discuss anything so I just laid in bed, let him get up and go to work. I went back out after he left and he had taken the note with him. I basically explained what I was feeling and how we needed to talk about all this. Well he gets home from work this morning and he seems in a good mood. I woke up about 8:30 and started making pancakes and he got home about 9. We ate and watched a kids show with my 4 year old and then I figured we'd get a chance to talk, well he went to bed not long after and I feel like he was in a good mood and ready to talk, but went to bed far earlier than what he normally does. Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out what this is all about and won't get a chance to talk to him until he gets up right before work...ugh. He's always been so good about everything and we talk about everything and now it seems like he's blowing this one thing out of proportion. Would this really be this big of a deal for anyone else?

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:58 PM

Oh also wanted to mention I feel like he has started resenting me for staying home with the kids since November, because that is when he started getting upset about more things (house not clean enough, etc) so I don't know if this is more about that or what. I really hope he will talk to me when he gets up before work....

LucyHarper
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:00 PM

He would be pretty upset, as would I if he did it, since thats really gross and can make the child sick.

JeremysMom
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:05 PM


Quoting stargazerwolf:

Oh also wanted to mention I feel like he has started resenting me for staying home with the kids since November, because that is when he started getting upset about more things (house not clean enough, etc) so I don't know if this is more about that or what. I really hope he will talk to me when he gets up before work....

Did you talk to him about staying home or did you just decide to quit your job? How are the finances? Maybe he is worried about paying bills. From the facts that you mentioned (knowing him for only a year and your child being 9 months), personally, I think he may feel overwhelmed at everything. I would see if you can get a babysitter on his off night and take the time to talk and communicate about everything going on.

comptonkids
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly? I'd be super pissed if my so did that with the diaper....I am forgetful too but that is just disgusting
My chikdren have NEVER played with or eaten poop...NEVER

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stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:16 PM

Yes we talked about it a lot. I wouldn't have just quit without talking to him about it, I feel that is a joint decision for any people living together. We decided since I was barely making enough to cover daycare I might as well just stay home because I was working basically working just to pay daycare. He actually has a pretty good paying job and will be getting a raise soon. We also will get our taxes back in a matter of a couple weeks and we combined are getting a good amount back.

Yes he got me pregnant before we officially started dating, though we practically already were dating. I can understand him being a bit overwhelmed and he also has taken on being like a father to my 4 year old (I was married before). I've known him for about 2 and a half years actually, we were seeing each other for a year before we actually started dating. His parents take the kids every thursday for a few hours and that is when we get some us time, but that is his next night off. I'd just like to get this worked out with him soon and I feel like he is maybe still too mad to talk, we normally do have talks when something is bothering one of us.

And again, yes it is disgusting that she ate her poop, but its not likely to hurt her and she has not acted at all sick or anything. It was a complete accident that I left the diaper there.  

stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:20 PM

Oh and I decided the best way to fix forgetting about a diaper on the changing table if she wakes me up at night is I put a bag tied to the opposite side of the table so at least i can right away put the diaper in there rather than forgetting to run it out to the trash in the kitchen. At least this way she can't get to it...

I guess I see it as less of a deal becaue my older daughter once almost ate dog poop (but I got it away) the dog poop was at family member's house not at ours. Also my mom told me about the time my brothers and me took our diapers off and started smearing our poop all over and eating it. I have younger twin brothers that are only a year younger than me so she had all 3 of us in diapers at the same time, so I guess what I had happen with my baby seems like nothing compared to that...sometimes things happen...

-PB
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:23 PM

 I would be very pissed if my so left the poopy diaper on the table and the baby was eating poop.  However, he sounds really immature running off to a friend's house instead of talking it out. 

Aqua_Jen
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:25 PM
I would be pretty upset as would dh if the other left a poopy diaper like that. It does sound like he's overwhelmed. You two really just need to sit down and hash it out.
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nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:35 PM

The pretending to be asleep so that you could not go out idiocy was petty, and juvenile.

It screams to me that he is not ready to be a full time dad, and sole provider for a family.

Sorry, but these kids are YOUR responsibility, not his. He is obviously not ready to share that responsibility. Personally, after only a year, or less, of knowing someone, before being thrust into the role of sole support for a family of four, I can somewhat understand this.

It is time for you to stand on your own two feet. I would find a job, a babysitter, become self-supporting, and move you, and your kids out on your own.


stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:40 PM

 He wasn't pretending to be asleep, he sleeps very heavy and it is always hard to wake him up. OUR almost 9 month old is just as much his responsibility as mine. If you had read everything you would see I have known him for 2 1/2 years and we've been officially dating for over a year (a year and 3 months basically). We decided together that I'd stay home with the kids since most of my paycheck was going daycare. I was a single mom for 2 years with my now almost 5 year old after my divorce, you seriously gather from this that we should move out? I don't know where you are coming up with this and obviously you didn't read that our baby is OURS.


Quoting nuts4scouts:

The pretending to be asleep so that you could not go out idiocy was petty, and juvenile.

It screams to me that he is not ready to be a full time dad, and sole provider for a family.

Sorry, but these kids are YOUR responsibility, not his. He is obviously not ready to share that responsibility. Personally, after only a year, or less, of knowing someone, before being thrust into the role of sole support for a family of four, I can somewhat understand this.

It is time for you to stand on your own two feet. I would find a job, a babysitter, become self-supporting, and move you, and your kids out on your own.



 

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