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I dont know what to do, His ex is driving me crazy!!!

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:08 PM
  • 28 Replies

Heres the deal... Let me know what yall think please.

I am a mother of 2(6&4 y/o) with a baby due in April, my BF also has a DD from a previous relationship... She'll be 3 in April. His ex and him DO NOT get along. He is a very rational person and tries his hardest to be the best dad he can be. He only gets to see his DD every other weekend due to their custody agreement and It kills him when he has to take her home. Well since they have split up 2 years ago they have had issues like crazy. He tries not to let her escalate things for the sake of their DD but ever since she found out that we were expecting our son she has gone beyond her usual hatefulness... Shes constantly bashing him on Facebook for not making/having time to see their DD and when he does its only on court appointed days, the thing about that is that every time he tries to get her any day that isnt one that falls during his weekends she always refuses and has even told him "You cant see her on any day that isnt yours as is stated in the custody agreement" He has gone behind her back to see DD while she stays with his ex's mom. When she found out that he'd been by to see her she stopped letting her mother watch DD. Now his ex's mom only gets to see her when his weekends roll around. 

My BF always gives DD a bath 30 mins or so before she goes home, has been like that since Ive met him its their routine. Well Sunday was a very nice day we spent a while outside letting the kids enjoy the weather and play (like children do) Well my BFs mom ended up coming over to spend some time with DD before she went home (@6pm) while we were fixing them an early dinner. Well she doesnt like to listen when her Meemom is around so it took her 3x as long to finish eating, by the time she was done it was already a little past 6 and he was about to giver her a bath when his ex called asking wher the F he was, he told her he was running late and that he was about to give her a bath and she said "I dont have time to wait for you to get your shit together how irresponsible can you be? and told him to just bring DD to her cause she had plans. Well he wiped her down and put her in the clothes that she came in (His ex made a big deal about how she doesnt buy clothes for her to keep at his house so as soon as she gets to our house she changes and those clothes are kept for her to wear home) and he took off to take her back. Shortly after he left her house I got a FB message saying "I dont understand why my DD always comes home smelling like a damn puppy dog, she always comes back so filthy, this is getting ridiculous..." Well later she starts bashing him on FB saying that their DD always comes home with such a bad rash from being so filthy and never takes a bath and how my BF is such an irresponsible and neglegent parent and how he never even changes her clothes or panties thats why she gets such a bad rash and that its a yeast infection and BLah Blah blah... Well a friend of his told him (cuz she blocked us) all this and sent pics of the posts and comments and everyone is agreeing that she should report him and all kinds of stuff. Well he hit her up and told her "You know damn well that this is the first time Ive ever not given her a bath on sunday, she took one saturday and if you remember correctly you told me you didnt have time for me to bathe her to just bring her and if she has a rash especially a yeast infection why on earth are you blasting it on FB instead of making an appointment for her to see the doctor." She said she was going to make an appointment on monday and shed tell him what the doctor said and just tried to drop it there... I told him NO, you have her have the Dr. print up a paper saying that she was diagnosed with, the cause was and the treatment plan all signed and everything so he did. Well he texted her yesterday to ask if she got the appt. and got no reply. Finally got ahold of her this morning, turns out she didnt make the appointment and shes decided its not a yeast infection that its just a minor rash but my BF told her 'fine, but Ill let you know what time her appointment is tomorrow and we can meet up there and take her and get this whole thing sorted out..." Her response was "well Im sure by the time she goes to see the Dr. the rash will be gone."

How convienient right?? I dont understand why she would do things like that. What can we do to keep her from doing this?? What else is she going to come up with... Ughh

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lorissa11
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Id knock that bitch out. Pardon my language.

snowangel1979
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:39 PM
3 moms liked this
I think you need to distance yourself.

You worry about her when she's in your care, let her mother worry about her in her care. (minus anything major)

Don't worry about what she writes on Facebook, It's non of your business. I'm sure people know she's a drama queen. All your doing is feeding her drama b.s.

If he wants more time or to be more in charge of medical decisions, he needs to hire a lawyer and bring he back to court.
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Jewl-e
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:29 PM
1 mom liked this

 I do distance myself. I dont get in the middle of their issues and I dont respond to any kind of bait she throws out there... The major reason why she gets under my skin is because she makes my BF feel like shit even though he knows without a doubt that none of what she says is true. He wont sink to her level but he has all the proof of her contradicting herself saying one thing to him and saying another to whoever... My thing is that I want to be a united front or at least civil... He would love to take her to court but hes not sure how to go about it all...


Quoting snowangel1979:

I think you need to distance yourself.

You worry about her when she's in your care, let her mother worry about her in her care. (minus anything major)

Don't worry about what she writes on Facebook, It's non of your business. I'm sure people know she's a drama queen. All your doing is feeding her drama b.s.

If he wants more time or to be more in charge of medical decisions, he needs to hire a lawyer and bring he back to court.


 

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Sorry what you want means nothing. Its all very simple go talk to a lawyer ...thats how you get to court.

Ypu ask how you can...........you cant ypu have no control


Quoting Jewl-e:

 I do distance myself. I dont get in the middle of their issues and I dont respond to any kind of bait she throws out there... The major reason why she gets under my skin is because she makes my BF feel like shit even though he knows without a doubt that none of what she says is true. He wont sink to her level but he has all the proof of her contradicting herself saying one thing to him and saying another to whoever... My thing is that I want to be a united front or at least civil... He would love to take her to court but hes not sure how to go about it all...




Quoting snowangel1979:

I think you need to distance yourself.

You worry about her when she's in your care, let her mother worry about her in her care. (minus anything major)

Don't worry about what she writes on Facebook, It's non of your business. I'm sure people know she's a drama queen. All your doing is feeding her drama b.s.

If he wants more time or to be more in charge of medical decisions, he needs to hire a lawyer and bring he back to court.



 

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melissaaytes
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:23 PM

Take her to court!!! Call a lawyer and they can help you go from there!  Keep anything and everything she posts, sends, whatever, texts...etc!!!  He might even be able to sue her for defamation of character!

breebree04
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:25 PM

You guys just need to ignore her, shes trying to get a reaction out of you and draw attention to herself by making up stories and posting them on FB. I know its not fun for your bf to know that everyone that shes telling believes her bs but he knows what kind of dad he is and confronting her obviously isnt going to change anything. You will never have a civil relationship with someone like that unfortunately. Unless its an emergency with his dd tell him to ignore all phone calls/txt and FB posts.

kali_mom
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I would encourage you two to contact a lawyer ASAP. The FB bashing will continue until the correct steps are taken to resolve under lying issues. Document postings and do not reply to them. Your unborn child deserves a stress free environment.
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cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:36 PM
Print out everything out that she writes on fb. Also, save all text messages to show that she's lying. You bf needs to get a lawyer and take her to court. There's no reason for her to say those things about him, especially if she says it around dd.
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jabs54
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:13 PM

 I would print any facebook messages she posts where she is bashing him.  I would then take the stack to a lawyer.  He needs to have it in their divorce decree that neither one defames the other publicly.

Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Document everything.

Has anyone actually taken someone like this to court and gotten a good result though? I contacted my lawyer about things that my ex was doing or refusing to do, like refusing to give the baby antibiotics when she had an ear infection for instance and every lawyer said a judge won't do anything. They said taking him to court would be a waste of time and money, plus the judge might get angry at me.

So before you go to court you might want to see what, if anything might be doable.

I recommend the book divorce poison for anyone going through these sorts of issues.

Finally, ignore her as much as possible. She is an angry nut case. You can't fix her. Don't let her have one more minute of control over you.

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