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40 and down

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:39 PM
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Hi, I'm new on this, and I'm a 40 year old mom with a 5 year old son, and another son who is 16 and lives with his Dad.  I am married and have moved to a city where I don't know anyone and am not having any luck making friends because every other mom seems to have a job other than being a mom.  For me, it is not a choice, I have anxiety and depression problems which refrain me from getting another job, and I'm finding that I am totally miserable here.  No family in the anywhere near area, and none of my friends want to come to the city to see me, so I'm wondering if they were really my friends at all...?  Sorry I'm going on, but I'm really down, and could use some friendly advice... even my doc doesn't seem to do with me, lol, not really funny, I'm not even feeling like a good mom right now :(

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:39 PM
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Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:00 PM
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Religious groups often have friendly people and groups for people of different ages. Or take classes-  exercise classes- try the Y, or classes that have something that interests you- try the local college.  You'll meet people in these. Volunteer someplace that interests you-  civic organizations,  political,  schools, library.  You'll meet people with similar interests.

jabs54
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry, I know it's hard to make friends.  I would try to volunteer at school, or the library just to get out of the house and with other adults.  Also check out the local churches.  Good luck!  (((hugs)))

ashleighmama
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:32 AM
1 mom liked this
Hi, Im Ashleigh. I just turned 41 last week. Ive also suffered from major depression and anxiety since I was 16. If you dont already know about them, theres 2 other groups Im in that you may like. Theres a depression support group and also one called 40ish and beyond. They are both great groups, the ladies in both of them are very caring, understanding and supportive. Also, there is no bashing each other in them, which is nice. Come check them out! Also, feel free to message me anytime, we definately have a few things in common. Hugs!
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Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry, it must be very lonely! Can you meet your old friends in the middle somewhere? Are you taking anything for your symptoms? Zoloft has helped me with depression and my daughter with anxiety a LOT. Volunteering is a good way to meet people, most cities have a volunteer coordinator that can help you set something up.

sue9607
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:27 PM

 thank you very much for your kind response, I have joined both groups!  I will take you up on a msg soon sometime after my son gets better he is quite sick right now :( x and again thanx!


Quoting ashleighmama:

Hi, Im Ashleigh. I just turned 41 last week. Ive also suffered from major depression and anxiety since I was 16. If you dont already know about them, theres 2 other groups Im in that you may like. Theres a depression support group and also one called 40ish and beyond. They are both great groups, the ladies in both of them are very caring, understanding and supportive. Also, there is no bashing each other in them, which is nice. Come check them out! Also, feel free to message me anytime, we definately have a few things in common. Hugs!


 

sue9607
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:32 PM

 hi there, yes I'm on quite a cocktail of meds for my anxiety and depression and everything was going alright until recently the battle just seems to be worse.  I can't get a psychiatrist in this city, as they are full up and not accepting new patients so to adjust my meds is  a problem....  I was thinking of volunteering at my son's school, but am worried about having anxiety attacks while I'm there, that would be so embarrassing.  I found myself staying at home alot lately :(  I'll keep trying though, I don't give up easy!  thank you for your response it is much appreciated, and I don't feel so alone!x


Quoting Lindalou907:

I'm sorry, it must be very lonely! Can you meet your old friends in the middle somewhere? Are you taking anything for your symptoms? Zoloft has helped me with depression and my daughter with anxiety a LOT. Volunteering is a good way to meet people, most cities have a volunteer coordinator that can help you set something up.


 

NearSeattleMom
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:16 AM

First of all, give yourself a break.  Moving is a hard thing to do and it takes awhile to adjust and meet new people.  One of my friends once told me it takes a good five years to feel "at home" in a new place and I believe it!

We moved to a new state less than two years ago.  I've found that having a dog has helped me meet my neighbors--we walk her every morning and have met a number of people that way.  I'm not saying that you need to get a dog, but find some reason to get out of your house each day. 

Mostly, though, lower your expectations and remember that it takes awhile to feel settled. 

Good luck!

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