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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

My 20 year old daughter moved out and Im worried!

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:32 PM
  • 4 Replies

I had posted last month that my adult daughter, who will be twenty in a couple of weeks, was living in a wonderful place having everything paid for her plus tution and she was wretched disrespectful and didnt want to follow the rules.She enjoyed all the freedoms of an adult but none of the reality. In my first post, I hadnt kept it brief but I am ill. Im on chemo and I "technically" terminal. Part of the reason why this disrespect and unbalance had arisen.

 Many of you were so supportive during my original post. I heard from parents, step parents, sibs, and even the kids themselves who were that age and behaved that way at the time. However, once paying their own bills they had a better appreciating for what they had. (Those were really helpful).All of you were so supportive and made me realize that I had done my job and that I deserved better for what I was giving. Even a couple of people who told me I should have never let it get that bad, while I didnt like to read it, it was true.

Your comments gave me the power to take back my own home, inspite of the fact I'm ill. One person even commented Ann Landers, we let folks take advantage of us. Please, assure me that I have done the right thing. I didnt grow up with all of these wonderful things we gave her, nor my tuition paid for....that I didnt slight her or do anything wrong. My heart just hurts so bad right now. Will that hurt heal? Now that she is out....what do I tell people?

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:32 PM
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Replies (1-4):
carolina_gal
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 Aw, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I'm sure those who gave advice before will come along and chime in.

HUGS

breebree04
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

(((hugs))) Hope things get better for you! I dont think you need to explain anything to anyone. Just a simple she moved out or she no longer is living with me she lives ______, if anyone asks.

Alwaysmotivated
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:39 AM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry that you are going thru this coupled with everything else.. Sounds like she moved out because of her attitude.. I think she will realize soon when the bills are coming that what she had at home was precious.  Trust her to make her decision and  to learn from it.. She's at an age where she needs to find herself.. You have a lot to deal with it as it is, concentrate on you and your happiness, she's a  big girl, its ok. Hugs to you!!!!

momof6nokc
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:50 AM

I told my DD she had to leave my home, Jerry Springer style,  LOL. I put her things on the front porch one evening after she raised her voice to me and disrespected me, on top of deciding not to go to college for a semester and not having a job.

I was an emotional wreck for about 3 days.  Then I had to move on.  I raised her for 19 years with good values and common sense. It was time to trust that some of those lessons sunk in. 

It took her awhile to get her life back on course but she is now in college, paying her own way, and making a 4.0.  She works a full time job and lives on her own, paying her own bills. I occasionally help with medical bills (she had to have surgery last year and I covered those costs after insurance) but other than the odd prescription here and there I pay for nothing.

She thanked me about 6 months ago. Told me if I hadn't put my foot down she doesn't know what she would be doing with her life.

As parents our job is to prepare our children for the world but we can't force them to learn the lessons. You've done your best to prepare her, now it's time to let her fly.


**Just call me Stuart**

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